Discovering The Hidden Layers of Motivation

Motivation is a concept that has many layers, it exists on it's own, outside of Typology yet we do know that in Enneagram it is often used as a fundamental part of it's design.

It's a highly misunderstood part of the system, often misused and simplified, the notorious typing method by your motivation is a known offender here and what does that mean? Well, do you wish not to be controlled? Do you wish to have security? Do you wish to be loved?

In truth all humans desire and want these things, of course to different extent but we can consider them the MAIN human motivations, needs that are neccessary for survival of the self but the issue that so many experience in using this method of typing is that they can relate to many motivations, they see many of these mechanisms appear in them at different times, seemingly they care about them all. One of these mechanisms is the one that drives you, this much is true but it never that simple, it is a subconcious process that cannot just be judged on the basis of very superficial self-awarness, for example, my own type, the E8 is defined by most newcomes as a type that hates being controlled and violated, this is likely one of the most vague and basic desires that exist, so many different types of people on certain level can read this and think to themselves that they relate to it strongly but does it mean that this is the actual mechanism that pushes them to do what they do? There is a big difference.

This inner mechanism is so hard to figure out because you're blind to it, we as humans have a limit to our self-awarness, we have certain blind spots, we can get around these blind spots maybe not by SEEING and FEELING the mechanism in us directly but by understanding why we do what we do, our actions, they have a motor, why did you react this way? Why did this make you angry? This is how you figure out your blind spot, you might not be able to feel it but you can understand it if you trace your behaviors, actions and even feelings to the root of it all. Let me explain this much better via an actual tangible example, I had a situation not long ago where I reacted with certain dismissal, defensiveness and anger towards something that has occurred, this happened in the moment as my immediate reaction but as we all know, it just is not that simple, an hour later I was talking to my wife about the event, I realized something, why would a PERSON react that way? What would cause such an impulsive behavior? To me it was clear that only a person that is guilty would react that way, they feel responsible for what they have done, for the result that was not optimal and they knew it was not optimal, this evoked a strong reaction in them, instead of just accepting it for what it is, there is a mechanism that pushes it all away, it all morphs into anger as anger is a much better feeling than guilt or any of the vulnerable emotions.

So despite me truly only having contact with this anger, indigence and pushback, the true root of it all, is the concept of guilt, just because you were not aware of it and don't feel it, does not mean that in these moments, this is just your reaction to being in the position of blame, of guilt. Biggest learning lesson for me was understanding that I am internally blind, I have many motivations like everyone else but what truly is underneath is instinctual, I am blind to myself, to my pains, struggles, fears, I am a blind man navigating the world, initially it seemed like strength, a super power, a capacity for such durability that you seemingly walk through hell itself and walk away untouched but that is a distortion that my mind has created, a cognitive distortion that only feeds negative maladaptive behaviors, I understand this not because I feel it, not because I can see it, I know this because I am able to uncover all the different little curtains that hide the true core of who I am. Just because you are unaware of something, it does not mean it's not there, it shows itself, your body keeps a score and it never forgets, it comes out in a dream, it comes out in your aggression, your violence, your madness, your loved ones see it, they sense it, they feel it yet here you are, a blind man, at mercy of his own condition.

Understanding these motivations is not supposed to be easy, it angers me when I see people taking it lightly or thinking they have it figured out because they just turned 25 and their brain stopped developing, we don't talk about climbing the Mount Everest as some ordinary feat, it's akin to you climbing a mountain around your area and believing that it's like climbing Mount Everest, you don't get it and you won't get it until you go through a grueling process of self-analysis, it will take you YEARS and once you reach that place, you will then take it all in, how much of a feat that is, it's like having a third eye opened.

HELENA BLAVATSKY

She is a figure that is used in the Lujuria book, representing the Conservation E8 subtype, she was a woman that was driven by many things, things that to people would contradict SP8 typing, she did not care about money, was generous and protective of those under her care and was instead interested in bringing humanity to enlightenment through her teachings.

She was a woman of many traits, she was often described as incredibly intense, magnetic, rebellious, direct, funny, expressive, animated and explosive.

1. P. Sinnett recorded an episode in which Blavatsky became absolutely furious with Olcott after she believed he'd badly mishandled an important situation. Sinnett describes her going pale from the intensity of her emotion and launching into such a violent denunciation that he became concerned people next door would hear it. That's an important part of her personality because her aggression doesn't seem to have been particularly polished or strategic. She could just erupt.

She was a a mixture of hardness and sentimentality, a woman who was unshaken in her determination to seek truth, she was the co-founder of Theosophical Society, an organization that was interested in discovering the hidden truths of life by combining science, philosophy and spirituality. She has defended this movement with all her might, argued against the opposition and was stern in her beliefs until the end. She produced important work related to the occult and Theosophical Society.

A lifetime of guiding this organization, leading her students and contributing to a deeper understanding of the Occult, this woman was not a ruthless car salesman, she was not obsessed with money or hedonism, she cared for things that to her were far more important, things that are not that tangible, truth, enlightenment, understanding, benefiting humanity on a spiritual level. I used her here because she is the perfect example of how an individual has MANY motivations, many traits that people could hyper-fixate on and say that she is instead a Social E8, the intellectual variant, considering how seemingly group oriented she was, focused on maintaining her position and such but this would lead us to the problem that I was talking about, Helena could care about truth, about her community, about her students, about her school, about the intellectual progress, she can show each one of these motivations and not be driven by anything of that sort on a deeply subconcious level.