Growth In Enneagram

How does one reach growth in Enneagram?

This might be perhaps the most important question a person can ask within Enneagram circles, after all, what is the point of being here, what is the point of being interested in these complex systems if we won't apply them to ourselves? That is what diffrentiates the people that wish to develop and grow with the tools they have learnt and those that wish to use typology as nothing more than a cool labeling system.

Now, the exact route to growth looks different from type to type as they all have their own unique neurosis but there is a very general approach one can utilize to overcome many of their difficult cognitive distortions and maladaptive defense mechanisms.

World View and Belief system

This is the foundation of everything neurotic, this is the foundation of your emotions, your reactions to the world around you and even your reactions to your own self, your world view, your distorted belief system is developed throughout your life, as you grow and mature, by the time you're a teenager, there are already many distorted beliefs that are forming and solidifying and for most people, this is a natural progression of their life, they don't oppose these thoughts, they dig deeper and align even more with them which makes sense, this is how the world works and that is what makes sense to them, why would anyone else be different? That makes no sense.

The root of our world view is rooted in experience, often it is trauma but doesn't have to be, our mind is like a sponge when we're young, always learning via interaction, via a stimuli, it does not have to be a traumatic life, it can be A LIFE, that is enough to form a specific world view, it is always a reaction to what happens, not good, not bad, it just is what it is.

Emotional Impulse and Action

Our emotions, our impulses and are actions can come in devastating ways, destroying everything in it's path or mobilizing, building and creating, most humans react to the world around them without knowing exactly why they do what they do, often, the reason behind an action is superficial, it is as if they traced their behavior to the most basic explanation, well, I did it because I liked it, I did it because I was bored, the person does have some basic rationale behind an impulse but instead of tracing it through multiple layers, they trace it to their most consciously accessible experience.

World View and Belief Dictates Action

In Psychotherapy, one of the most common and most effective methods of therapy is the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, this concept exists on a simple premise, you do certain things, you feel certain things as a result of a world view, beliefs, distortions that are cognitive, the way you think about something will dictate how you feel and act towards it.

I have noticed that this attitude can actually work very well with Enneagram, you can find your neurosis, you can find your fixation, you can find your irrational ideas and see how they form a corrupted and twisted world view.

Imagine that your world view involves the belief that there are only two types of people in this world, the strong and the weak, you then in your distortion assign certain misguided values belonging to strength, power, toughness, insensitivity, callousness and whatnot, your view of weakness is that anything passive or docile is weak, sensitivity, fear of judgement, dependence and need for others, all weak.

With this mindset, how will you navigate the world? What will you feel? Will your feelings and actions be dictated by this? Surely they will be, the people that represent these values of weakness, you might hold in contempt, you might disregard or even wish to protect while at the same time look down upon these qualities but what if we changed how you viewed strength and weakness? What if, strength was to be tolerant, to accept, to embrace another, to show sentiment, to show emotion, to show vulnerability, that would change how you react to the world around, to the people, it would change how you relate to other human beings, the change of these values, not an inherent removal of them is the key here, you are now changing the fundamental basis of your value system but you are removing the distortion, you're "fixing it"

Surely, you know what your cognitive distortion is, it is usually irrational, we believe it to be true, we believe it makes the most sense but it sadly reinforces are impulses and neurosis, it makes us indulge in what is destructive, unhelpful, the world view is your beautiful "justifier" , it rationalizes all actions, all impulses and behaviors, it makes you so solid and sure of your path, of what is happening.

A Battle

People often think that being self-aware of your neuroses, your irrational ideas and your defense mechanisms means that you're half way there while in reality, most people that reach that stage rarely ever cross that bridge, all you have is the map, it seems like that's the most important thing right? Sadly, our egoic responses are immediate and rarely ever one can catch themselves in an act of a neurotic response, most often, we realize after the fact and sometimes it's already too late.

But this is important, growth is not something that you do and it's done, it's not some fairy tale that once you reached that level, you're just that guy, it's a battle, it's a DAILY battle, especially when you're involved in circumstances or environments that bring out your most neurotic features, I like to compare growth to doing the single hardest and most illogical thing you can do, I say that because it is supposed to feel like it's the hardest choice you can take in that moment, the choice that just goes against your gut, your instincts, your feeling, your conviction, why would I oppose what comes so natural to me? Why would I not listen to my being? Nonsensical, that is why my friend, most people don't grow.

Every single day you will face a series of events, situations, questions and with each and every one of them you will be be given a choice, in the simplest terms, there will be two paths right ahead of you, one being the one that is comfortable, one that comes natural, one that makes sense, one that by all accounts seems like the one you should choose but this is more often than not the neurotic path, if something comes so easily to you, you're not growing, the other path seems like a bad idea, it opposes the things you wish to do, if you are impulsive person, it represents restraint, if you are offensive, it represents kindness, if you are overly passive, it represents courage and assertiveness, so on and so forth.

If you pick the right path ONCE, that does not mean that the next choice that is ahead of you will be an easy one, it does not mean that suddenly you have it all figured out, in the same day, 3 hours later, you might "fail", welcome to the brutality of growth, true growth, it's a series of events, not 3 situations, not 10 but 50. As you go through them and you pick the right route, it will become easier and easier to do that, maybe in the beginning you will nearly always fail, in the next few months, you might mostly fail but in the next few years, you might start getting it mostly right.

You're building a habit, a new view, you're creating new reactions in your brain, in your psychology until all of it solidifies and it becomes your new norm.

If you are in typology, you are given an opportunity, don't waste it.