Power of Choice and its Shadow

I always believed that life is as straightforward as you make it out to be.

We've faced with choices, in our daily life, in relationships, career, you name it, there is always a choice, when you're deciding what to buy in a store, when you're deciding who to marry, when you're deciding where to move out, when you decide to start a business, when you decide to leave a job, choices dominate your life.

But it also my perspective that, most people's eternal enemy is not the external world, not the obstacles they will find on the way but rather their own reflection, their own mind, their own heart, that's their enemy, lurking in the corners of their psyche, waiting to rear it's ugly head.

Life is what you make it out to be and I think this idea is scary to people because this means all of your failures, mistakes, regrets are all caused by YOU, you basically take responsibility for all that happens and it is a heavy burden to carry, you cannot blame your childhood, your addictions, your mental health, society, life itself for all that has happened to you, this makes people face the harshest of truths and their ego cannot sustain the damage.

But many of the same people seem to be reacting to life, almost as if they're simply passengers of it, a victim of circumstances, they have aspirations, they have wants, they have ambitions, plans, hell maybe they even have drive but there is one enemy, their own shadow, starting a business does not orient towards the pragmatic solution that is based on the next step of action such as "What do I need to start my business?", it becomes "I am not sure If I can do it" , "What if I fail?" , "I feel ashamed to tell my friends about it" , maybe their drive falters when their mood changes, maybe it goes away once they face an obstacle, it then pushes that internal voice to the main stage, it then consumes everything, they give up, drop the project entirely.

While the burden of responsibility seems brutal and unforgiving it actually allows for something else to grow, just as you make a mistake, you also create success, you win, you overcome, you create, you develop, both failure and success are in your own hands, this gives you a sense of freedom, a philosophy in which it all comes down to a CHOICE that you make, want or don't want? yes or no?

The Extreme

In my life, I've believed that giving away excuses as to why I do what I do or why something happened or maybe did not happen was a sign of weakness, if I've hurt others, I would never relate it to my childhood or certain circumstances and what not, I've done it because I wanted to do it, simple as, I won't resort to using a pity party as to why I am a mean asshole, especially in a world where everyone takes the easy way out, it is up to me to survive in this world and if I don't manage that then clearly I've done a piss poor job of surviving, If I let someone overcome me, how did that happen? If a random man attacks me on the street and he hurts me bad, is it the fault of society? Is it the fault of the world? Maybe it's the fault of the aggressor for being this way? None of this matters, it does not matter why and when and what, a shark will be a shark, the sky is blue, stop worrying about the oppressors and the violent offenders and how they should not exist, they will always exist, instead equip the "victims" in the right mindset and tools to be able to face such situations.

If I let this person do this to me, it is on me, simple as, I can only hold myself responsible for this, this SHOULD NOT have happened and it did, not much for surviving, this applies in all aspects of life, you got manipulated and blind sided? How did you get fooled like this? How would you let this happen? Your company competitor outsmarted you and that cost you, how did you let this happen?

This is philosophy of choice that has taken the most ruthless and unforgiving manifestation, it is not related to true self-blame in which one feels bad about himself and attempts to lower himself further, there is no grace given, there is no mercy given, there is no sympathy or empathy for one self, to me, to feel for yourself, to have pity for yourself it is to give too much

This extreme approach gives you invincibility when facing life, it arms you with all that you need to face life, to conquer it, it is not a matter if you can achieve something or if people will like it, if they will accept you for it or maybe mock you for it, it is not matter of doubt, it all comes down to "Yes/No" and if it is a Yes then you pursue what you set out to do, what becomes priority is the obstacle in your way, how do you overcome it? You are fully in sync, fully on board with your actions, this is the direction you're headed and your shadow is right there with you, with full support and vitality, what do you need to learn to make this happen? What pitfalls do you need to avoid to succeed? What is the next step that gets you closer to that.

The map of your choices becomes singular, like an arrow that goes from one point to another in a straight line, ---> ---> ---->, like a train that does not wait for anyone, one that will crush anything in it's path on contact.

The Balance

While the extreme manifestation of Choice based philosophy can seem attractive to people, it has what we can call "pathological" roots, it's disdain of weakness and complete elimination of it, it does not have empathy for others because it does not have empathy for itself, how can you give grace to the weakness of another if you cannot give such grace to yourself?

There's balance that once struck allows you to make the most out of your own life, taking responsibility and power of choice without removing your own humanity from the equation, it's not a war zone, it's not a jungle, growth here is realizing that you can hold yourself accountable without it being severe or harmful, not only to yourself but to those around.

TO BE CONTINUED - DRAFT FOR LATER