Jokes and Vignettes Transformation Process And Therapeutic Recommendations

The Self-Preservation 1 hides its shadow very well, so it doesn't recognize its selfishness, which sometimes others may not notice either. The blindness and lack of awareness of the rigidity of character and the dimension of the ego represent an obstacle to personal growth. Overcoming this obstacle involves descending into the depths of oneself or falling into the abyss of one's own emptiness. The price is high and painful. It is quite common for them to feel very bad before ardently and decisively desiring freedom and allowing themselves to leave the cage that confines them. Resigning oneself to live limited and conditioned by the character structure that produces suffering.

It is easier than struggling to get out of this situation. It often happens that the Conservation, when starting a spiritual path, proceeds scrupulously toward their goal, as if it were just another way to perfect oneself and become "the holiest of saints." This search for absolute purity is, in reality, fueled by a neediness, no matter how much we deceive ourselves thinking we are on the right path to transformation. Therefore, instead of an authentic aspiration to the divine, we are driven by idealizing forces or the need to escape certain life conditions considered unacceptable; or sometimes, after a crisis, there may be a need to rebuild a good and presentable image or to regain a valuable role that serves to reclaim power.

The defense mechanism of reaction formation helps in this lack of self-awareness. The effort that the Self-Preservation 1 makes to perfect itself and their efforts to improve make them believe they have reached a good level of awareness. Moreover, choosing to fulfill duty over pleasure confirms that their steps are correct. The consciousness of the ideal, the sacrifice to achieve it, the inner judge that severely discriminates between good and evil, make them think that what they did benefits them. Instead, this is self-deception that clouds their consciousness and prevents them from perceiving their developmental state.

If the growth process involves starting to know oneself and recognizing egoic mechanisms, continuing means awakening consciousness and finding the courage to dissolve the ties that keep us prisoners of the habitual existential script. But the awakening is traumatic, and the help and guidance of a therapist or teacher are essential. Breaking the rigid shell can be traumatic, as if the ground beneath your feet opens up and you are dragged into the abyss of annihilation.

This dramatic condition of rupture and loss of ego control can be transformed into an opportunity for illuminating and renewing revelations. The Self-Preservation 1, who fears losing control and displaying "crazy" behaviors, has a healing experience by realizing that they can allow themselves to let go of control and, by doing so, open doors to new potentialities. It is a descent into one's own hell, where terrifying encounters occur with

greedy and hungry monsters, evil and furious dragons, repulsive archaic entities, against which one can retreat at any moment and flee, or be paralyzed by helplessness, a condition that this character completely avoids. One tries to avoid the pain of recognizing and accepting the unpleasant aspects of oneself, but there is no transformation if one does not renounce and abandon the ideals of purity and perfection that feed and sustain the ego. The inner child must integrate with the ego; without this passage, you will not be able to open your heart to love.

Descending into hell, the Self-Preservation 1 begins to recover vision, until then affected by the blindness of anger. Opening one's eyes to one's own imperfections and receiving them with an open and compassionate heart heals the judging mind and leads to serenity. Releasing the perfectionist compulsion leads to self-acceptance as one truly is and opens spaces for inner peace. Therefore, the experience of losing control is a fundamental stage of liberation for the Self-Preservation 1. To gain security from Conservation, it is necessary to lose all security. When there is nothing left to lose, worry dissolves, and anxiety disappears.

-"I worry less, I worry more, and I relax more and more: I leave myself at peace and leave others and the world at peace." — MERCE FALCÃO

An indicator of transformation is the fluidity and spontaneity of emotions that no longer interfere with personal growth. Control diminishes, and feelings arise more naturally. They gain more self-confidence, there is more dedication, and control loosens. The achievement of perfection is not the goal, and thus, by deactivating defense mechanisms, emotions emerge more naturally. A person's perfectionism, which allows them to regain vitality without wasting and having everything available, no longer polarizes the energies previously used to suppress emotion. This change translates into greater sensitivity and attention to others. What prevails is the serene acceptance of one's reality and trust in one's possibilities. Healing begins when one disidentifies from judgments, when one stops feeding and following the dictates of the severe inner judge.

-This helps me tell myself: "What is, is. It’s all right the way it is! It’s a way to stop the automatism of perfectionism and demand. The perfectionism that everything can be improved. Say: 'Well, I’ll think more, think more because I can improve it or complete it more.' Not anymore. As it is, it’s great!" — BLANCA MARTINEZ

Judgment disappears and makes room for appreciation and gratitude. As the Ex-Self-Preservation 1 experiences this transformation, they modulate their actions, worry less, stay busier, and become increasingly unemployed, leaving themselves alone and leaving others and the world at peace.

-Being perfect now is about being with what is in each moment, facing my "imperfection" and telling myself: "I did it again, okay! Next time I’ll do better," giving myself time and not getting involved with what I do wrong or with things I haven't solved. It’s self-benevolence and humility in accepting what is, and from there comes peace, self-confidence, and the knowledge that what I don’t know, I will learn along the way. When I give myself time, benevolence and indulgence appear, and from there, everything is fine, me and the world. Validate my way of doing things, see what is working in my life, rest in who I am, in what the path is bringing me, the message is in motion. — MERCE FALCÃO

The process of liberation requires continuous work: reviewing the world of feelings and instincts so that they dignify, reinforcing compassion so that the judging mind remains calm, diligently cultivating the virtue of serenity and the holy idea that everything is perfect as it is, as antidotes to the dominant passion and the crazy ideas that sustain the apparatus of character and continue to produce suffering. Gradually, the perception of reality changes, becoming less and less imperfect; it is being at peace, doing nothing, abandoning the tendency to strive and go against the current of the river.

-With "it’s perfect," I now leave myself a little more at peace and acceptance. I have even stopped putting myself in the father figure role with my siblings; now I leave myself at peace, and I leave them at peace. I first have to leave myself alone with this noise, stop worrying, and then not be invasive with them. I become freer and freer, Nero is still there. And I see a way to do it, but I don't get involved in it; before it was very radical. With the personal process, I have been losing this radicality. Before using a machete, I was a samurai. And now I am like the conductor of an orchestra who has the baton and occasionally takes it off, other times keeps it behind. — SÉRGIO ISLA

The transformation of the Self-Preservation 1 involves changing their tendency to force events and their lack of trust in the natural rhythms of life. Excessive effort, obsessive control, and the inability to trust in organismic self-regulation, in the rhythms of the body and life in general, are significant obstacles in their path.

The image of pushing the course of the river reflects well the ego of the Self-Preservation 1, who usually thinks: "I am convinced that it’s necessary to intervene in the river, grab its attention, push it, criticize it because it’s slow, because it doesn't conform to the bed I tell it, it doesn't obey me; it could do things better, not waste time, not get distracted, and focus on its task, which is to reach the sea, quickly and well, in the best way, without mistakes."

For everyone, meditation is the antidote to the ego. In the case of Self-Preservation 1, it would be appropriate to deepen a meditation practice that, by its nature, offers the experience of "being" in the here and now, which can help tame the impulse.

The practice of Vipassana can be very appropriate for sensitizing oneself to the consciousness of the subtle, as well as Zen, which introduces us to calming the mind and making contact with the spacious emptiness, where there are no rules or expectations. Through meditation, this character can achieve a serene attitude of acceptance, their true virtue.

Transformation is in letting the river flow. There's no need to do anything. The river will reach the sea. Without hurry, but without pause. The river does not need to be pushed. It is enough to respect it so that it follows its course. Seeing things from this perspective deactivates this character’s perfectionism, their effort to control, and their great demand. It opens up the horizons of freedom and trust in life. Worrying about the river reaching the sea no longer makes sense. Hence come the beneficial effects of personal transformation: acceptance and serenity, which are the essential qualities of the higher emotional center of the angry person.

Acceptance is the virtue opposite to anger. The issue is opening up to reality, to the dynamics of things, not forcing events, accepting oneself, giving oneself the right to be, with their mistakes, and also accepting the rhythm of things; losing the exaggerated control and worry. The childish desire for omnipotence gives way to accepting reality without the need to manipulate it or submit it to one's own models. Thus, the relentless judge, the chronic inspector, the irredeemable perfectionist are deactivated. The automatic mechanisms are accepted without judgment, just observing them. Things are as they are. It takes more energy and virtue to accept reality than to change it, without forgetting that acceptance is the first step of a deep transformation, because there is no deep metamorphosis that doesn't have its roots in love. How peaceful for the obsessive E1 to know that the river will reach the sea without having to push it!

-Accept me as I am. Letting myself feel that I accept myself is already loving myself. I accept what I am now. Resting in acceptance heals me, it takes me to love. MERCE FALCÃO

If they no longer need to convince anyone, not even themselves, that they are acting well, the Self-Preservation 1 can simply allow themselves to exist, and not prove anything, to present powerful reasons. Speak about their approved evidence or walk through the gallery of trophies of their virtue. The absence of the need to feel the urge to talk about how good they are so that no one can criticize them is what will truly show that they are healed.

Serenity, understood as overcoming the authoritarian attitude and letting events flow without intervening, is also the virtue that contrasts with anger. It involves relativizing things, the winds, the results. Worry, then, loses consistency, as do the cognitive distortions that fuel perfectionism. Emotions change gradually; anger and resentment dissipate; one can rest in inner peace.

-I am paying more attention to the things that worry me, seeing if they really need that excessive attention, that worry, that self-care in advance. I am in the process of releasing the worry. SÉRGIO ISLA -Perfection, how do you assess that what you're doing is perfect? I started evaluating by the level of pleasure it gives me, I feel comfortable. Now I trust that when I allow myself to feel pleasure with the work, it is complete. This meant recognizing my abilities and trusting them. Many times, I received more recognition from others than from myself. QUIQUE SEGUE

The awareness of anger reorients the person and rebalances their tendencies. We no longer deny it and are conscious of it; moreover, anger expresses itself without the need to maintain the appearance of a good and correct person. Educational or moralizing behaviors are no longer used to give vent to an indescribable anger, nor are just causes sought to justify the anger that explodes from within. When anger appears, the mechanical response is to act. On the contrary, the conscious – and therefore transformative – response is to be with the emotion, see where it comes from, express it, and, if necessary, calm it down.

The dimension of pleasure in Self-Preservation is sacrificed and filled with prohibitions. Therefore, it is healing for them to allow themselves and learn to forgive themselves more. It is important, then, to teach them to connect with the playful child and their inner animal, expanding spaces for fun, freedom, and creativity.

-"I've been doing this for a while, having fun. Especially when I'm with my trusted group, I allow myself, and we all allow ourselves to be silly, and also with my partner at home: we dance, I act goofy... I need this movement, it's much easier in the trusted group, but yes, I love doing it. It's totally liberating." – SÉRGIO ISLA

Transformation also manifests in decriminalizing instinctive life and opening up to pleasure. The concerned and anxious perspective of the Self-Preservation subtype views pleasure as something forbidden, a path to losing oneself in chaos or immorality, as if the enjoyment of life had no many nuances. In some cases, going through the forbidden may be the door through which the bonds of repression are broken. In this way, space is created for play and fun; one learns to enjoy vacations, to live sexuality more freely, to value the pleasure of being with friends, to share more intimately, but also simply to listen to music or take walks. Duty is considered, but without being imposed at the expense of pleasure, which continues to be a threat or risk that leads to loss of control.

-"I am thinking about how to stop all the impulses and focus more on the fun part, doing more things I like, like going to the mountain. Dedicate time to fun. I really like 'vacations,' that is, doing what I want, enjoying hobbies, traveling. It brings me joy, weighing everything else against that. And I'm happier. But yes, the automatic mode

is to get into 'everything mode,' spending time on a bunch of things that ultimately don't bring pleasure." – LOLA REBOREDO -"First the obligation, then the pleasure, that's what happens with me and will continue to move me. But I spend days without planning, not even planning the activities that bring me pleasure, well-being, growth, what I consider important for me. It's really about giving yourself things that are important to you but that we always put aside because obligation comes first. And we have to get out of that, we have to get out because our lives are passing by." – SÉRGIO ISLA

The work of the Self-Preservation 1’s awareness passes through the bodily instinct. Given their visceral energetic structure, they are very sensitive to the physical; and contact with the body, relaxing muscles, becoming more flexible through movement and dance also facilitates connection with emotions.

-"Connecting with emotions is sometimes complicated, and it's easier to do it through the body. Dancing heals me a lot; not ballroom dancing, but free dancing, to my own rhythm." – SÉRGIO ISLA

An appropriate experience for this character is therapeutic body work, focused on sensory sensitivity and the revitalization of instinct. For the Self-Preservation 1, it is very important to reconnect with their more subtle senses, value their body, and give dignity to the body's pleasure. Spiritual practices from the tantric tradition can also be very fruitful, helping to connect with a non-normative spiritual dimension.

These changes impact social relationships and the view of reality. More importance is given to people and their humanity, the norms in which they want to frame interpersonal relationships. Now, they can experience brotherhood, leaving behind the loneliness of being above others, and manage to give a warm and genuine hug. Flexibility and fluidity replace rigidity, which no longer makes sense; the heart opens to compassion and love. They give themselves more and let themselves be guided, accepting things even when they are not understood.

Some useful tools for the Self-Preservation subtype to become more aware of their dominant passion include: personal therapy, meditation, journaling, character study through the Enneagram, regression experiences, working with wild ideas, therapeutic theater, gestalt work, bodywork, etc.

The Self-Preservation 1 heals when they no longer need to struggle to be loved, when they listen to and respect their own needs and those of others, when they accept reality without demanding perfection; when they evaluate things for what they are, without making comparisons, when they abandon attachment to norms and moralism, and when they relativize solutions, because there is no single answer.

Their state also improves when they have faith in life and its natural rhythms, when they don’t see rejection or aggressive intentions in others, when they release control and surrender to spontaneity, when they are in touch with their own needs and desires, when they understand anger as an unmet need, when they allow themselves to enjoy, to ask questions, to show themselves, to trust, and to engage with their instinctual strength, and finally, when they feel a spontaneous flow coming from within—a spiritual feeling.

-Now I am realizing that I need to honor my anger because it brings me news of where my boundaries are being crossed, of what is hurting me; If I stand up and recognize this, I take my place and my strength to express myself and say what I want. - MERCE FALCÃO

Transformation occurs in stages, following a process. There may be setbacks or qualitative leaps, but in any case, the journey has a continuous line. St. John of the Cross speaks of a purgative path, a path of illumination and union. Purifying the ego, removing the character incrustations of the self, is hard work. The changes seem imperceptible. The angry man, according to Dante, could not open his eyes. The smoke that blinds him symbolizes the anger that clouds the intellect, preventing him from discerning good from evil, blinded by anger. The instructions of a guide are essential: like the blind man following his guide to avoid getting lost, stumbling on obstacles, or perhaps dying” (Dante). What it means to let the other approach, to let oneself be carried away, to abandon control. Despite this, many doubts manifest internally. In the phase of “illumination,” vision is restored to great intensity. In the darkness of the ego, there is concern about taking the wrong step, not recognizing obstacles, or falling into the abyss. Instead, serenity emerges in the light, although new risks are faced at each stage. The dominant passion transforms and takes on other subtle forms that escape awareness, but now one knows their own mistakes and imperfections better, and it becomes possible to work on them while being careful not to fall into the automatism of character.

True progress consists of allowing oneself to feel anger and having learned to live with it, seeking, however, constructive ways of transformation and improvement. Giving space to anger means connecting with one's inner child, and also with the child they once were: connecting with the wounds, with the feeling of abandonment. In this way, one can reclaim the right and dignity to feel their own needs, especially by recognizing the needs denied in childhood. By recognizing the pain, we can give space to anger and, with that, open space for the right to enjoy life.

The process of internal family restoration known as the Hoffman Process is incredibly effective for this transformation. Moreover, because it is group work, it opens the door to understanding others' pain and can establish relationships of equality and compassion.

Old tendencies and customs are seen as a heavy burden and an obstacle to life. You want to abandon them, but you need more strength, courage, and above all, compassion. The union phase opens new horizons, and the fragments of the person’s mosaic tend to integrate.

-I’ve learned to recognize when I am angry because the first thing that happens is my jaw tightening; Before consciously realizing I’m getting angry, I start contracting my masseter muscles. Paying attention to this, I move forward. QUIQUE CONTINUES

We feel connected with life and aligned with the Spirit, and this brings light and happiness. The journey continues with confidence and gratitude, surrendering to the “divine” will. It is a grace that consists of clearly perceiving the perfection in all things, including in oneself, as they are. You begin to feel the perfection that everything is perfect now, from an indulgent and benevolent view of yourself, others, or the world.

-My great discovery was realizing that I am only perfect when I am indulgent with myself, when I lower my demands. If I don’t lower my standards, I will never be perfect. Perfection comes when I reduce the demands, and then everything falls into place as it should. - MERCE FALCÃO

Unlike other subtypes of E1, it is common for this person to resort to psychotherapy for an existing disturbance or discomfort, which will be favored by contact with their missing part and the passion for self-improvement. When you decide to take this step, it is already a sign of change because it is not easy for them to overcome resistance, ask for help, and surrender.

From the experience of the evolutionary and transformation process of the Self-Preservation 1, other indications and suggestions are also useful for the psychotherapist when working with people of this typology. A welcoming, neutral, and non-judgmental yet warm attitude is essential for them to feel comfortable. On the other hand, the slightest criticism can trigger sensitivity, resentment, and activate obsessive thoughts.

Precisely, the mental attitude of judgment represents a very problematic aspect that needs to be considered. The Self-Preservation 1 feels so oppressed by the criticism of their cruel inner judge that they have a very low tolerance for judgments and criticism from others. They need help in improving and trusting their intuition and instincts, allowing themselves to be increasingly guided by what they feel instinctively.

-In my relationship, I try not to repeat the mistakes I made in the past. I am more understanding and try to understand where I feel an attack coming from. We often feel this, but no one is attacking us. So what I do is see my partner, put myself in

their shoes, understand why they said what they did, what they felt, and then we talk about it. I no longer keep quiet: staying quiet is what causes ulcers, not anymore! First, we need to be respectful and loving with each other; otherwise, we won’t get anywhere... But I have to find this balance. - SÉRGIO ISLA

In therapy, it is important to recognize and stay in touch with negative emotions and feelings, such as anger, greed, fear, error, and helplessness, allowing their expression and gradually making them conscious. It is essential to highlight when they rationalize emotions. Aggression will be welcomed with tenderness and compassion so that you can establish contact and empathy with the irritated inner child and establish an intimate, open dialogue with them, finally considering needs and desires. Moreover, the tendency to criticize and judge oneself will be addressed, and by inviting a shift to a more positive attitude every time it happens, it will help transform destructive aggression into greater self-affirmation.

For this purpose, Gestalt therapy is an appropriate method. The Gestalt approach is based on awareness and contact. The emotional world, and the whole Gestalt practice of expressing emotions, is fundamental for this type of person. In addition, it is advisable to complement this with group therapy, where the Self-Preservation 1 may feel stimulated by others' emotional work and learn that feeling doesn’t mean being in an inferior state. In a group, they can also experience, under the therapist's guidance, the direct expression of their anger.

The Gestalt technique of confrontation is important for this person because they can see the self-deception of the false identity of the “virtuous” person. In this case, the therapist must approach the confrontation with care so that the person does not interpret the confrontation as an attack and so that they can, at the appropriate moment, disidentify from their false superiority.

Humor is a very effective tool that can be used during therapy and, especially with the Self-Preservation 1, it is a vehicle that shakes off most of their rigidities from the root. In fact, liberating laughter works very well, and at this point, we can perceive the absurdity of some of our crazy ideas.

Therapeutic theater can contribute a great deal to this type of character because it allows them to experience other ways of living, feeling, or thinking, within a safe framework. And particularly, it would be very useful to experience clown theater because it combines a ridiculous metavision of the ego with the joy and wonderful practice of not taking oneself too seriously.