Introduction

Main Contrasts Between the E3 Subtypes: Conservation, Sexual and Social

As in the case of other characters, Vanity manifests in various forms across its different subtypes, and we wanted to begin this volume by outlining its contrasts. It’s a passionate concern for one’s own image, or a passion for living for the eyes of others. Living for appearances implies that the focus of concern is not on one’s own experience, but on the anticipation or fantasy of the experience of another.

Among the different subtypes, it is the Social 3 that aligns most closely with the general description of a vain personality. It epitomizes the pursuit of prestige and fame, standing out as the most overtly materialistic among the three subtypes. Social 3 individuals strive to be important, seeking widespread recognition in public spheres and leveraging social norms to their advantage, whether through fashion, physical appearance, or captivating speeches.

Social vanity is thus the most conspicuous, more observable than in the other subtypes. It’s a vanity in front of the world. It’s very important for these people to be seen by many eyes. They thrive on recognition from groups, in the manner of actors who crave constant applause as a form of narcissistic nourishment. Social 3s desire acknowledgement from the world at large, not so much for their appearance, but for what they do and for their social standing. They aim to exude charm and are driven by aspirations of success and accomplishment, proudly showcasing their qualities and virtues. The childhood desire to be noticed evolves into a passionate pursuit of prestige, igniting their fervor while sidelining genuine engagement with life, both for themselves and others.

In relationships, the more modest and reserved Self-Preservation 3 seems content with smaller social circles, while the Sexual 3 focuses on fostering intimate bonds. But the Social 3 loves to get around, travel, dabble in a bit of everything (this voracity and eclecticism could get them confused with E7), and experience the whole wide world.

Because of their somewhat pompous demeanor, Social 3 individuals can resemble E2, especially the social subtype, when they’re more outgoing. But it’s not that they adore everyone, or that everyone adores them, like E2s tend to believe about themselves. Furthermore, Social E2s exude a sense of security that lets them show themselves off splendidly, and they have no contact with lack, whereas Social 3s easily come into contact

with failure or insecurity if they don’t get that gaze and confirmation from others. Social E2s think they’re special all on their own, while Social 3s need recognition from others to feel important.

They’re particularly interested in catching the eye of important people; the bigger the name, the better, because that’s how they feel validated. They strive to connect with noteworthy figures in prominent positions, and they’re all about showing off: whether it’s possessions, power, or knowledge. That’s how they achieve that desired rush of power and feel respected and admired. Money is something to flaunt for them—it’s like, “spending equals status.” It’s difficult for Social 3s to engage in self-improvement work of their own accord, for example, the SAT program, because they feel like they lose prestige by “confessing.”

Sexual 3s are the most timid, fragile, and insecure. They’re not as out there in the world as the social subtype; they prefer to hang back a bit. When they do step into the spotlight, it’s because they trust the group will accept them with open arms. They strut their image through life’s runways, yearning to be looked at. When they encounter a new group, they’re cautious and prefer to observe first (Social 3s usually enter more dynamically, without waiting so much, in a more overwhelming way). They seek intimacy more than the social subtype and also sell it, pouring more energy into relationships with the opposite sex, while being less interested in big crowds, which are more the Social 3’s scene.

Finally, the Self-Preservation 3 is the “anti-vanity.” Their passion is a counter-passion; they have a hidden vanity. Although their image matters to them, they go out of their way to seem otherwise. They’re discreet, their vanity hidden beneath a veneer of modesty; that’s the image they sell. They steer clear of the stereotypical vanity associated with being well-dressed or overly concerned with appearances, fearing it may make them seem shallow or frivolous. They shy away from obvious vanity, viewing it as the territory of self-absorbed and foolish people. In group settings, they often position themselves as helpers or problem solvers.

The covert vanity of Self-Preservation 3s means that during the Introduction to the Psychology of the Enneatypes courses of the SAT Program, many of them don’t identify with the more attention-seeking attitude of the Social 3, which can be quite flashy and exhibitionist, resembling the Sexual E2; without falling, of course, into histrionic excess (they dress as “elegant eccentrics” or “ethnic chic” if necessary, but without losing control or “going wild” like Sexual E2s).

If the Social 3 subtype offers this glorious and dazzling image, the conservative subtype presents itself as more approachable and helpful, which is why they don’t come across as vain. They’re the subtype that seems least like E3 because they’re well-intentioned: they put a lot of effort into doing things well and being a good person.

The vanity of Self-Preservation 3s revolves around productivity and the results they produce. Their motto could be that there’s no problem without a solution. The doing is constant; the agenda never ends. The underlying thought is that if it does, “they cease to exist.” They’re constantly busy with something, unable to stop, to be alone without something occupying their mind and hands. This prevents them from connecting with themselves: “My being is doing.” In it lies the source of suffering because they really want to be recognized for themselves… only there isn’t really a self. There is only what they do. They are there for others, but in reality, they aren’t; they don’t exist. No wonder it’s so difficult for them to connect with pleasure: “There’s so much to do first!”

While Self-Preservation 3s seek recognition through their actions (which they understand as proof of love) and Social 3s find identity in their professional tasks, Sexual 3s focus on their charm or allure. They use their physical beauty, sexual appeal, and intimacy to succeed, albeit what they really want is emotional connection, which they don’t outwardly show.

While Sexual 3 women usually embrace feminine gender roles, and men an idealized image of masculinity, Self-Preservation 3s assume the persona of an adult child, and Social 3s identify with masculine societal roles, such as a manager.

Sexual 3s also don’t put as much energy into crowds as Social 3s. They lack the gift of gab and sometimes struggle to express what they feel. If Social 3s are known to have a quick wit and an answer for everything, many Sexual 3s draw a blank and struggle to assert themselves; they have no sense of their own worth. Physicality (sensual movements, touch, eye contact) does, however, compensate for their lack of verbal fluency. They use their image and sexuality to their advantage and mask what they don’t like about themselves to please others. It’s the subtype most in touch with fear. They seek physical contact. Women may look eternally young. They all sell sex as a means to receive love and validation.

Sexual 3s, although capable of being efficient and achievement-oriented like the other two subtypes, prioritize romantic relationships, investing significant energy and focus into their partners, in whom they can lose themselves, sometimes to the detriment of their own self-awareness and professional pursuits.

As mentioned earlier, they grapple with low self-esteem and strive to feel valued and admired by perceiving themselves as attractive. The defining passion of this subtype could be described as “attractiveness” or “sex appeal.” They rely on their physical appearance and sensual energy to attract others; thus, they prioritize cultivating physical beauty. Their vitality and interest in life revolve around pleasing and drawing attention to themselves. They conceal their flaws by constantly applying makeup to both their faces and emotions, losing touch with their true feelings in the process.

They expend considerable energy maintaining an idealized image that caters to others’ desires; projecting this desirable image becomes their primary objective. They are chameleonic and, in order to please, can become anything, embodying what the other person wants. This extreme level of identification with their partner’s desires can even lead to them being assaulted or abused without realizing it, since they separate the characters they play from their authentic selves and fail to see the situation as it is. They exude flirtatiousness and glamour, often appearing superficial. Behind their extremely beautiful, often stereotypically plastic-like faces (which others find ludicrous but which Sexual 3s believe to be alluring), they are the most likely subtype to contact an inner void.

In terms of seduction, they are compared to E2, with the key difference being that E2s don’t need to transform themselves to please, and, while the seduction tactics of Sexual 3s focus on projecting an idealized image, those of E2s are more driven by erotic pleasure and sexual contact. Sexual 3s send erotic signals only to attract; they are not willing to follow through on their promises. They want to be desired but not touched, finding validation in the desire of their target. They differentiate between sex and love, and in sex, they prioritize their partner’s preferences and do everything to satisfy them.

In terms of appearance, Self-Preservation 3s exude a more classic and understated vibe compared to Social 3s: they may be just as vain, but they prefer not to draw attention to how much their looks matter to them.

Of all E3s, Social 3s are the most chameleonic. They dress and act according to societal expectations and in line with current trends. They enjoy dressing up, accessorizing with jewelry and makeup, presenting themselves as beautiful, dazzling figures. Their wardrobe boasts all kinds of outfits suitable for various occasions. They can be posh, interested in having the latest and best brands (they like to spend money on the most expensive things), or in keeping up with the latest trends in their field of knowledge. They embody the values that others buy, selling their own personality.

What truly drives Social 3s is the desire to shine, and they continually hone their skills and talents for this purpose. They are the most deceitful of the three, shamelessly seeking an audience, fame, and admiration. They like to win over people, applause, recognition, places… and in this relentless pursuit, they lose themselves. All that glitters is merely a facade to attract attention.

They know how to present themselves; they have charm, grace, and impeccable manners. They possess all the right accessories. They’re efficient, energetic, and sociable. They move with elegance and poise, like worldly individuals.

They’re always in a good mood, more cheerful and talkative than Self-Preservation 3s, who may come across as harsher, angrier, and more rigid. In comparison, Social 3s can be quite intuitive and empathetic.

As for Sexual 3s, while they might be more timid and bashful compared to Social 3s, they certainly don’t fade into the background. The most important thing for them is to attract a romantic partner, but they also crave visibility, even if admitting it is somewhat taboo for them.

The Self-Preservation 3 can also be shy, though for different reasons. If Sexual 3s are afraid of revealing that they’re hollow inside, that they don’t amount to much, shyness in Self-Preservation 3s, although stemming from inner insecurity as well, is mostly linked to a need for control. In unfamiliar environments, their desire for recognition prompts them to remain hidden until they are sure of acceptance.

Self-Preservation 3s control themselves and control others. They can’t stand chaos. They’re meticulous and detail-oriented; they’re involved in everything (like organizing shoes found in the corridors…), always ready to attend to others’ needs. They possess an uncanny ability to remember the smallest details, from birthdays to offhand remarks someone made in passing.

While Sexual 3s openly struggle with insecurity, Self-Preservation 3s thrive on clarity and control; they never allow themselves to feel uncertain. And they’ve structured their lives very well for that purpose; it’s as if they sell reassurance. They project an image of having everything under control and are the go-to problem solvers – in this regard, they resemble E9. They’re resourceful and adept at fixing things. They always assume they must have answers for everything, and if they don’t, they improvise. They’re quick thinkers, and their memory is usually exceptional, gathering information of all kinds to use at the right moment. They’ve learned skills that aid others and position themselves where they’re needed most, often finding themselves resolving the problems of people they’ve only just met.

The keyword and defining trait of Self-Preservation 3, "security," is sometimes misunderstood as a compulsive search for security in all aspects, primarily focused on conserving resources. In reality, however, these individuals already anchor their lives in a secure foundation, ensuring that all basic needs are met to sustain their current situation. For example, they always have enough money (being cautious with spending), a stable home equipped with essentials, and handle everyday challenges or problems without needing to ask for help (or by seeking competent assistance when necessary), preemptively resolving issues like traffic jams, etc. Compared to other subtypes, they are the most autonomous and stoic, sometimes being confused with Conservation E4s due to their perfectionist tendencies and heavy workload. Yet, they are distinguished from them by their

automatic smile and lighter disposition. While Self-Preservation 3s are driven by the desire to achieve everything through their own efforts, Sexual 3s aspire to find a partner who can provide the security they feel unable to attain independently, and Social 3s believe they can succeed in life through their prestige alone.

Self-Preservation 3s present themselves to the world as naturally secure individuals, unaware of the energy expended to maintain this status quo, convincing themselves they were simply "born" that way.

This belief is their greatest source of vanity, even if it’s not explicit. By selling this sense of security, they truly believe they possess great value: others will only benefit from having them as partners or friends, and, at some point in the future, they will be rewarded for their devotion. This future reward keeps the machine running. Yet, it remains an implicit reward—one they hope will be intuited and evident in the minds and hearts of those they’ve wholeheartedly dedicated themselves to.

Naturally, by offering security, they tend to attract the most insecure, needy, and dependent people. Over time, they expect repayment for their assistance, demanding a steep price for what initially appeared to be a selfless gesture.

When faced with frustration upon realizing their efforts may not yield the expected reward, a dormant, monstrous side emerges—cold and calculating, capable of merciless destruction—all while maintaining a facade of benevolence and availability. While this dark aspect is also present in social and Sexual 3s, it is less conspicuous in them as they primarily express it within the intimate sphere of their families.

Social 3s may be more openly selfish: if they love you, it’s because they’ve integrated you into their circle. Prestige, a defining characteristic for them, involves needing someone to acknowledge them, to recognize how good they are at what they do. They engage in a lot of self-promotion; among the three subtypes, they are the most adept at it, often without a hint of shame. They effortlessly captivate audiences by talking about themselves and showcasing their abilities. They have a knack for presenting themselves positively to others.

On the other hand, the anti-vanity of Self-Preservation 3s manifests in a desire for recognition, albeit indirect: "Let others talk about me, let them praise me—not directly to my face, but to others, so that everyone knows." They hold a strong aversion to overt social or sexual vanity. They disdain the self-promotion of Social 3s, viewing it as shameful self-aggrandizement, and find the open coquetry of Sexual 3s pathetic. Their reluctance to self-promote stems from intense discomfort with being in the spotlight, which they find ridiculous and, deep down, too vulnerable of a position—they fear exposure that could make their mask slip. They are internally suffering but maintain the appearance that everything is fine, projecting an image of kindness and reliability.

Finally, regarding work: Self-Preservation 3s are production machines. They are true workaholics, even more so than the social subtype. Everything they have, they owe to the fruit of their labor. They prioritize hard work over brilliance, like Margaret from Faust.

If the sexual subtype seeks perfection in physical appearance, Self-Preservation 3s demand perfection in their actions. They feel compelled to prove their worth through meticulous effort, always believing they could have done better. This perfectionism aligns them somewhat with E1s, as they share traits like honesty, scrupulousness, hyperethics, and a tendency to obsess over details (becoming overwhelmed by the need to complete tasks to the highest standard). However, while E1s are serious and restrained, E3s display a more expansive and cheerful—or at least neutral—demeanor. Moreover, E1s are grounded in tradition, while E3s are driven by the need for external approval.

The Self-Preservation 3 is hardworking and “ant-like,” in contrast to Social 3s, who resemble peacocks. Social 3s are enamored with their own grand words, captivated by the speeches they give, the promises they make, and their inflated egos. Yet, they often find themselves reluctant—or outright afraid—to follow through on these promises. When possible, they might cheerfully delegate the burden to subordinates, if any are available.

Self-Preservation 3s, by contrast, are deeply committed and compliant. They present an image of efficiency—a carefully curated narrative they share with the world. They pride themselves on being reliable, on delivering on their promises without fail. These individuals embody the essence of efficient bureaucrats, determined never to show fatigue or exhaustion, no matter how much they endure behind the scenes.

The Social 3, however, is the most deceitful of the subtypes. They often exaggerate or falsify their expertise, selling an image of efficiency while lacking the patience or discipline for tasks that don’t place them in the spotlight, relying on others to achieve satisfactory results. Unlike the Self-Preservation 3, they avoid small, practical efforts that don’t provide stimulation or affirm their desire for importance. This tendency can lead to broken commitments, leaving others disappointed.

When expectations aren’t met, Social 3s rely on their verbal agility to salvage their image, offering reassurances like, “I know how to do everything,” even when their actions suggest otherwise. They focus on achieving big, visible goals, often by leveraging others to do the heavy lifting. Their drive is not rooted in genuine efficiency but in the desire to seem important. The promises they make are rarely upheld unless doing so allows them to shine as the apparent achiever. And when they fall short, they excel at crafting justifications to deflect responsibility, all while preserving their polished public image.

They prioritize their own goals and personal interests over the needs of the community. Their neglect of others often goes unacknowledged—they rationalize it, justify their actions, never take the blame, and avoid taking responsibility for any failures in their duties.

In the workplace, Self-Preservation 3s may struggle with delegating tasks. Even when they do, they tend to retain control, closely monitoring workers to ensure deadlines are met and methods are followed, much like E1s. In contrast, Social 3s, who are often the closest thing to a boss, lack the patience for overseeing processes and supervising their subordinates. They often disengage until the project’s final stages. At that point, they may critique others’ work, take credit for the results, and conveniently forget that there was even a team to begin with. Social 3s initiate projects and sell the final product, but it’s the Self-Preservation 3s who handle the methodical work required to bring the project to completion.

Sexual 3s, on the other hand, struggle with maintaining discipline in professional settings. While they can be incredibly efficient with domestic tasks, often striving to create a picture-perfect family life, their professional development is hindered by their focus on controlling and seducing others. Their passion for emotional and relational dependence often conflicts with their ability to achieve true independence or professional success. Their lower self-esteem leads them to feel safer within the confines of intimate relationships, which they use as a shield.

Like Sexual 3s, Self-Preservation 3s also use sexual seduction to establish connections. They understand how to appeal to others’ interests and use this skill to win affection. However, once in a stable relationship, Self-Preservation 3s often deprioritize their sexual and emotional lives, seeing them as inefficient or unproductive pursuits that don’t yield tangible, concrete results.

Both sexual and Social 3s can be conquerors and seducers, but in different ways and with different objectives. Sexual 3s are often seen as irresponsible or innocent, while Social 3s are quite the opposite: they know where they stand, what powers they have; they are very competitive and probably more perverse. If the Sexual 3 woman is Marilyn, the Social 3 woman could be Sharon Stone—more dominant and aggressive. The Sexual 3 seeks protection, placing power in the hands of a man, while the Social 3 claims power for herself, blending a sharp intellect with undeniable glamour and femininity (“a man’s head, a woman’s body”).

Dependence on others is a common thread among all E3 subtypes. Social 3s are the most manipulative, as they project an image of autonomy while subtly using others without them knowing. They transform their own dependence into something that appears meaningful in the lives of those around them. Self-Preservation 3s exhibit a similarly hidden dependence by making others feel reliant on them for survival. They can come across as tough, cold, and

inaccessible, and they fear exposing their inner emptiness. They crave recognition but are so ashamed of this trait that it’s difficult to see it without a discerning eye. While they long for love, they struggle to consciously acknowledge or feel it.

Coldness is present in all three subtypes. In the Self-Preservation 3, it’s a mask of rejection: “I don’t reject you directly, but I become cold.” The Social 3 is also cold but keeps people around them; it’s more of a defense to maintain their social role. And the coldness in the Sexual 3 lies more in their mannerisms. They invest everything in courtship but fail to enter the relationship itself at a deeper level of commitment. There’s a protection, out of fear of connecting with something they don’t understand. The Sexual 3 lives so much in the image that if they enter that void—which would break that coldness a bit—they could get lost. That inner void that the Sexual 3 feels may be harder for the Social 3 to perceive: they do so many things and have so many ideas…

The Sexual 3 shows more insecurity, pain, and suffering; they express emotions more than the other two subtypes. And they’re the sweetest. Even though they’re the most emotional, they struggle to connect with their anger. If Social 3s can be aggressive, Sexual 3s cannot. In fact, they suppress aggression and can endure a lot. But affection is hierarchized, and that’s why they’ve become tough; the more neurotic the person, the tougher they become. They’re stunning but without tenderness. They cultivate a dangerous irresistibility, like in the story of Samson and Delilah.

The Self-Preservation 3 is more prone to avoid acknowledging pain and strongly controls the expression of their emotions, as if they were incapable of being surprised by life. They harbor the belief: “If I feel pain or get emotional, I lose control of the situation.” They have great difficulty connecting with pain, suffering, and conflict. They widely use the mechanism of denial, a defense that has a lot to do with “nobody can know more about me than myself.” However, in life experiences like crises or confrontations, they can recognize the pain and deal with it.

Social 3s are the strongest; they use strength to position themselves centrally in a group or in society and can be tough and overpowering. They are the most competitive of the three. They are more aggressive and defensive. Where they put their eye, they go. They feel they can do anything. They’re the most energetic E3 subtype; they’re like “cokeheads”—cocaine is a drug very characteristic of the Social 3 that exacerbates its tendencies. They can’t stop. In solitude, they are already anticipating new successful projects. They have the image of mental clarity; they’re very “in their head.”

Social 3s are the ones who can lie the most to preserve their image. They can’t handle criticism or any kind of confrontation because they’re constantly striving to maintain the image of omnipotence, of “I can do anything.”

The Self-Preservation 3 does not take the risks that the Social 3 does out of love for danger, adrenaline, and greater self-confidence. But they can also be aggressive. They know how to defend themselves, they have the power to confront and be critical. Sexual 3s are the ones who find it most difficult to confront or face conflict; they hide more; they are more seductive.

Social 3s can be quite identified with their head (similar to E6 and E7), and they are aware that when they go out, they put on a mask. This last point may not be as relevant for Self-Preservation 3s, who lose themselves more in the meticulousness of the task and may not show as much to others.

Social 3s believe everything they sell; they identify with it. Of the three subtypes, they are the most artificial, the ones whose mask is most noticeable. They represent the prototype of the most obvious vanity, and they can be quite amoral. When the Social 3 realizes their falseness, they see that everything they’ve done is a lie, and then they become depressed, withdraw, see their emptiness, and search for their own authenticity.