Interpersonal Bonds and Associated Irrational Ideas

Bonds With Uninteresting People Are A Waste Of Time

The Social 5 seeks relationships where they can acquire knowledge or learn something. Therefore, they need to hang out with people they admire. They can't stand banal conversations about trivial matters, which are so common in any relationship. They are blind to the emotional exchange that happens during those moments. This gives them an air of excessive seriousness, which makes building social relationships difficult.

If They Admire Me, It Means They Feel Affection For Me

With their hypertrophy of admiring love at the expense of compassion and eroticism, the Social 5 confuses being admired with receiving affection. They don’t recognize affection, or they feel it as suffocating, and therefore do not seek it particularly. Sexuality is important, but they live it in secret, as if they were another person, and it doesn’t carry the weight of admiration.

By seeking relationships where they are established as an object of admiration, they try to fulfill a basic need for affection and sustain their fragile narcissism. In an intimate relationship where they didn’t feel superior, the necessary component of admiration would be missing for them to feel seen and important.

Emotions Are Of Little Importance

The Social 5 feels little; that’s why they don’t understand or know how to deal with themselves emotionally. It’s as if people were speaking to them in a foreign language, in which they can recognize one or two words per sentence. The Social 5 devalues emotions and sees someone who lets themselves be carried away by emotions as a sign of weakness. The devaluation of the emotional world prevents them from feeling invaded by a turbulent and chaotic state, which can only be controlled by placing it under rational control and separating it from physical perceptions.

I Don’t Need To Compete With Others

Feeling outside the world can be distressing sometimes, but it often hides this idea, which has a deep narcissistic content. The Social 5 feels both inferior and superior at the same time; therefore, the idea that they don’t need to compete or fight for something in life, like everyone else, is common. It’s as if they think others will recognize their worth without them having to prove it objectively.

It’s also a way of rationalizing their difficulties with confrontation and the expression of aggression, necessary in competitive situations. At the same time, if they feel threatened in their narcissism of being special, they will attack the competitor from an intellectual superiority, without getting their hands dirty in a direct fight.

I’m Not Ready Yet, I Need To Know More To Act

Since the Social 5 feels much more comfortable in the field of ideas than in the field of action, this rationalization helps them avoid confrontation with reality, with the resulting narcissistic wound and the real difficulties and consequences of intervening in the direct world.

In The End, It’s Not Worth It To Relate

This subtype has as an important defense the crazy idea that “love doesn’t exist.” This conviction is expressed in forgetting love and affection. For them, it’s easier to abandon bonds than to fight for them. And, to do that, it’s easier to forget love, because that way they can detach more easily without suffering. The fact of expecting or demanding something is experienced with great difficulty by the Social 5.