Transformation Process and Therapeutic Recommendations

The first step towards transformation, as with all Enneatypes, is self-observation and the recognition of one's own character as the source of suffering.

The main motivation that drives the Self-Preservation 5 to seek change is the suffering caused by seeing themselves as a deficient person. They suffer because they feel wrong, out of place, at the mercy of a world they were thrown into without an instruction manual. They suffer from distance, from the feeling of not belonging, from isolation that leads them

to consider themselves different from others. Often, they are unaware of their share of responsibility in keeping active the process that fuels their suffering.

An important step is, therefore, recognizing their own way of functioning: the Self-Preservation 5 is relieved to know that their way of being in the world is anticipated and observed, that it can be the object of knowledge and also of modification.

The first understanding of an intellectual type, therefore, offers a mental map that implies leaving isolation. This would be the first crack in the system.

"While I was training in Gestalt, I started the SAT program. I went without knowing almost anything about the Enneagram. The introduction had a huge impact on me; I saw myself absolutely reflected when they described the E5. It was as if the veil that prevents one from seeing reality had fallen; I saw myself without excuses or justifications. The SAT gave me the opportunity to meet other people with the same Enneatype, and that was important for me. I had always lived as an oddball, believing that no one had the same difficulties as I did, or that no one was like me. Discovering those like me was a huge relief. It helped me see the shadow, see the specific difficulties of the Fives, and work with them. SAT II was especially important to me. It was the culmination of the work I had been doing with my therapist about my past. I felt the strength of the group and the common objective of everyone. It was the beginning of reflecting on myself as an adult." - Manuela R.

Recognizing character leads to self-observation. It is easy for this Enneatype to observe the content of their own mind, and through the lens of the character map, they can begin to understand how deceptive it is. They can observe the level of attachment to their own thoughts, to the production of theories, to their own representation of the world.

"I came to SAT at 46, at a time of great loneliness and despair. Deeply resigned to a life on the margins of a world I felt I could not belong to. SAT I would open the door to a world made only of darkness. It was the beginning of my personal journey: for the first time, I felt I could be part of a group. I came into contact with strong, deep emotions." - Nicola B.

Gradually, you can begin a process of healthy detachment from your own mind, demystifying it, observing how it sometimes generates deductions that are not based on the data of reality.

A phenomenological observation work is important at this stage, in order to reach a healthier examination of the real. This different use of the mind goes hand in hand with the integration and progression of the body's sensory data. Again, it will be necessary to provide them with cognitive maps and emotional and affective education, which will allow them to recognize, name, accept, and contextualize what, for them, were generic and undifferentiated signals of sensory invasion.

"Next, I did body training (based on expressive movement, the Enneagram, and bioenergetics). One of the things they explained helped me a lot: Unexpressed emotions get trapped in the body, and through body work, these emotions can come to the surface. Not as something that is happening now, but as an expression of something very old that couldn’t be expressed at that moment. I was able to recognize that the body has memory, different from cognitive memory, and understand some of the emotions I was feeling. It was in this training that I began to appreciate my body, to move, to dance. And more and more, I was able to be in the present without thinking so much. I discovered that the body is an anchor for the present." - Manuela R.

One of the main tasks of this transformation process is, in fact, to rediscover the body.

"People who feel confident in their bodies can begin to put into words the memories that once dominated them. That’s why it’s essential to start a loving exploration of your body so you can connect with yourself and embody your body. You will be able to self-manage the sensations you once thought you couldn’t bear; you will no longer need to isolate yourself or forget about yourself." - Ivonne R.

There are many techniques (bioenergetics, yoga, dance, singing...) useful in the process that leads to feeling a body that had been forgotten. It’s not just about using activation techniques for physical well-being but about recognizing a part of yourself that was not seen or heard:

"Something that helped me a lot in my process was body work; making contact with the body was a discovery, both of well-being and joy as well as discomfort. But it definitely gave me structure and an anchor." - Yashmir H.

Messages come from the body that can be redefined by a mind that gradually becomes a more flexible container.

A greater familiarity with one’s own bodily experience allows better management of one’s presence in the world. This greater internal security allows isolation to loosen its grip.

From there, a later phase opens up where the association of feeling = pain will shift to the association of feeling = pleasure, something that finds its main channel in a rediscovered erotic dimension.

"Only through the gradual rediscovery of the body and a true process of 'reincarnation' was I able to start discovering how the body can give pleasure. From a dimension that sees the body merely as a means and relegates the sexual sphere to pure and mechanical physical release, to a dimension of surrender to instinctive energy. I perceive the energy of life within me in surrender to pleasure, I channel this energy in the encounter with the other, and I discover the sacredness of the masculine and the feminine. From a contact that generates

fear to a contact that opens the door to a true relationship, with trust, respect, esteem, care, strength, and delicacy." - Nicola B.

Opening an internal space of vital pleasure is the way to allow yourself to be led to a dimension of greater trust in life, where you can enter the flow of life to "feel the pleasure of living."

In this renewed space of experience, the availability to rework old painful experiences and the work of repairing parental figures is opened up.

"During spontaneous movement, there was an intense connection with the body, but above all, an image and an understanding came to me. The image was of a father taking his child by the hand and accompanying them. The understanding was that I am applying to my body the same pattern my father applied to me, that is, not listening and not caring. How can I take care of someone if I can't take care of myself? How can I love someone else if I don’t love myself? How can a child trust and recognize the guidance of a father who ignores them?

It is true that my experience involves the lack of a father as a guide and reference, but the time has come to recover the relationship between the father and the son within my inner world. I think it is from there that the recovery of strength and trust begins, to face what today I am starting to see more clearly as the core of my inner suffering. This ancestral pain that settles in a self too small, which led me, on an unconscious level, to consider any kind of strength as violence and, therefore, to deny my own strength and avoid life." - Nicola B.

In this passage, fear is crossed to fully enter the ancestral pain of suffered violence, in order to untie this knot, accepting this violence with the tools of compassion and forgiveness. And, in this acceptance, you recognize your strength and give direction to your life.

"Metaphorically, it is as if there were a bird hidden in the tall grass of a meadow, which remains still and doesn’t move because it is afraid that, if it takes flight, it will be shot down by the hunter; although it is in the grass, it cannot see if the hunter is really there. However, if it can find within itself the strength and courage to fly and accept the risk of death, at that moment when it accepts its vulnerability, it is imbued with a great life energy, and a great sense of freedom is generated within it. There it frees itself from its fears and, therefore, from the state of non-life (non-love) in which it was immobilized, to take flight towards full life: love and the opening of the heart." - Nicola B.

*"I know that now it is my turn to put into action, that is, I know what I want now, which is like a death in me of fear and distrust or, better said, to overcome them: to be able to go beyond both. And for this, a concrete action is necessary. I trust that life will take care of, at each moment, giving me the opportunity to take a step—I need and want this trust and

faith—and that, when this opportunity appears, I will know how to recognize it and, with the strength and power of love in my heart, receive it with gratitude and humility.

For my part, I take responsibility for who I am fully in my humanity and in my spiritual essence, I pay attention and bring awareness to accept fear, vulnerability, and love in its fullness (affective, sexual, and spiritual), and I intend to surrender to the present moment, to life, to service, and to my own Being." - Eva C.

Once the internal structures have been redefined, through the balance of the mother-father-child subpersonalities, it is important that this character continues on their path by projecting outward. If, in fact, we can define the first part of the E5 work as learning to receive, the second, more mature part, has to do with learning to give.

Their relational dimension is frankly scarce, and training in social skills will be useful, where they learn to assertively negotiate boundaries, express their emotions with authenticity and clarity, and empathize with the inner world of others.

Recognizing psychic solipsism helps to overcome childlike egocentrism and take others and their needs more into account. Accepting the existence of a real other helps to recognize acts of revenge, attacks on the relationship, and cold distancing. One of the keys to this therapeutic process is the exploration and encounter with anger, which E5s have no idea they have inside them, due to the great fear and taboo caused by living in an environment that does not allow it. It is an anger that is usually projected outward. Discover how much anger you have and feel increasingly capable of feeling anger and expressing it to the other in the appropriate context. This is extremely valuable because they inhibit confrontation and direct expression of anger, and the only way to express internal discomfort is through coldness, that is, through the denial of words and distancing."

Recognizing their own relational dynamics allows them to work through their primal anger and facilitates the expression of sweetness, frankness, and charm, which, overcoming the rigidity of character, give a very unique mark to this way of being in the world.

A greater presence of the child part opens compassionate contact with others, to feed a virtuous circle.

In relationships, the Self-Preservation 5 can access the dimension of care that will be important to dedicate to themselves in daily concreteness (nutrition, health).

Useful actions for a Self-Preservation 5:

• Dedicate your daily attention to action, to solving everyday problems. Do this without hiding. And do this, as much as possible, without demanding perfection or impossible ideals. • Do the things you enjoy and do not abandon them, even if they are not perfect. You tend to give up many things because of the level of perfection you seek, which is very high. • Occupy your own space and get out of resignation dictated by the fear of not getting what you want. Express what you want, even if using a louder tone. • Participate in activities such as theater, singing, clowning, dancing... Not only privately but in situations that involve exposure to an audience, even if it’s just colleagues. • Volunteering can be very helpful. Go to the other to get to know them. Adopt a pet; it can allow you to express sensitivity and tenderness. • Engage in activities that represent zones of discomfort: give lectures, conduct training, manage groups, organize parties, tell jokes... • Give something valuable to your loved ones, overcoming the concept of scarcity and utilitarianism, and rediscovering the concept of the beauty of the useless.