A Telephone Monologue And Two Cartoons

Gila and War 1.

The good thing about wars is that you get pumped up to kill, and the police don’t say anything. One day I killed thirty-something people, the police came by, and I told them, "It was me! So what?" And I left the tank double-parked to see if the tow truck would take it. Come on, I’ll put a cannon shot in his mouth...!

Gila and War 2.

(Trench scene. Gila gets up and picks up the phone. Start of the "monologue.") Is it the enemy? Can you stop the war for a moment? [...] Can you stop the war for a moment? [...] Yes, yes, now I hear you. Are you advancing tomorrow? [...] At what time? [...] On Sunday? [...] At seven?

We’ll be lying down at that time. [...] Yes, yes, after football. [...] Will many come? [...] Wow, what beasts! I don't know if there will be enough bullets for so many. Well, we’ll shoot them, and you can split them up. By the way, yesterday your spy was here. Yes, Agustín, the short one, dressed like a lagarterana.

[...] Could you stop the war for a moment? Just an hour or so, because the barrel is clogged. It's the sergeant, who put his head in and can’t get it out. [...] Yes, yes, you're right, maybe shooting will unblock it. It hadn’t occurred to us. Well, then, we’re like this. Until Sunday. Make sure you kill him well!