Emotionality and Fantasy

The color of control

The emotional climate of this character is autumnal, melancholic, and gray. Not only does it contain the flow of emotions, from which it feels disconnected, but it is even unaware of its source. From the watchtower of reason, at the top of Mount Calvary—seat of resignations, sacrifices, and longing for acceptance—feelings are true strangers.

The emotional world becomes a kind of archaeological site, perhaps not of much value. The archaeologist looks with a mixture of disdain and unreality at those curious phenomena that spring from some strange spring.

Confusion and distrust reign in the Social 6 when it comes to dealing with feelings. They are not experiences that flow through the organism and that one allows oneself to be mobilized or shared. For the "robocop," any disturbance of stability is threatening.

The interruptions of the evolution of maturation, in early experiences of organismic disconnection and intense introjection, turn their internal universe metallic, with emotional and motor hardness.

Fear in all its tributaries: to feel, to get out of control, to the unknown, to be wrong ("make sure you don't fail, it's dangerous")... When in doubt, use your head, examine the pros and cons. It is better to stick to what is established. "Be careful; doubt your impulses and emotions, which can make you lose control and objectivity; it is better to wait and abstain when you doubt or are not clear about your options..."

The multiple invasions (swallowed introjects) left the robotic individual complying with the rules with the sensation of being foreign to their own emotions.

The original schism, the primary dissociation, caused desensitization. A powerful contraction buried sensations, feelings, and awareness of them.

Then come the blocks of spontaneity. A delusional sense of "objectivity" leads to expressive rigidity. The psychological mechanism of retroflexion, which inhibits the genuine energy current and directs it towards oneself or against oneself, generates inhibition and, with it, a cold and harsh climate where the fantasy of endowing oneself with security reigns—the control.

The Watchtower of Reason

Faced with the loss of contact, he finds refuge in the towers from where he can spot the threats. In his fantasy, for the Social 6, the watchtower of rationality seems safer because it reinforces the feeling of control. He lives in a Cartesian world, where cautious rationalization, or methodical doubt, can "control" the "evil genius" that causes the loss of objectivity.

I think the reality is what I think. There are many people who rely on their feelings, which constitute their emotional reality. For me, reality is a kind of text that I create mentally, with images and sentences... Everything can be turned into a movie or a book. Thus, I see what I think, I feel what I think, I act as I think. People are not how I think; the world is what I think or how I think of it.

The description of this woman illuminates the mental universe of this character, with her emotional disconnection (life, others are how I think of them), the swallowed messages (reason gives me control, security), and the displacement of emotional reality and somatics towards higher levels. From the mental refuges, she is conquering territories of security since the abstract, the theoretical, is more comfortable than the concrete and, of course, more manageable than the emotional world. Fears of losing one’s head, being singled out, or being excessive are added to internalized toxic ideas about feelings as symptoms of weakness.

Vacancy

The strategies of obedience, compliance with norms, and orientation towards theories and authorities entail a vital sensation of disengagement, of self-emptying, which is registered in feelings of derealization, meaninglessness, and an omnipresent fear of death.

By focusing on that other whom he approves or condemns, he “goes out,” he forgets himself. The implicit fantasy is that the line of duty will win the longed-for recognition and security. But much is left on the way: the price is to be alienated. The sensation of the loss of Being is a global background experience, and it seriously affects your position in life.

"Outsourcing" implies self-annulment. The fear of living life from the heart, from the body, leads the Social 6 to moments of desertion and melancholy, a feeling of vital absence, loneliness, and sadness. At the bottom of an apparent righteousness lies the feeling of being lost, confused, and isolated.

As a knight-errant, he needs his books of chivalry to perceive that there is meaning, a certainty that fills his inner emptiness—a grandeur that fills that empty perception of life and its internal world.

Split

The early interruptions of nurturing support and the natural right to simply be and feel one’s own needs and emotions produce a loss of connection and a split experience. The bridges of contact were broken, giving rise to a divided self. The avoidance of interiority is recurrent, sustained by the ghost of the void, of not finding anything there. This causes hopelessness, a compulsion to do, and emotional dryness.

In a "parenting" movement, the child not only learns to meet the expectations of his parents: “I will be what you expect me to be. I will be your ideal.” Rather, at times, he inverts his role, acting as support for the father or the mother: “I take care of your happiness out of love for my son, out of pure fidelity and an imperative need for affection.”

A “giving” position is generated that avoids receptivity—the experience of emotional openness that, for a character where the need for control is imperative, is most threatening since it implies placing oneself in vulnerability, feeling exposed, and being confronted with the fear of trusting: in the other and in divine providence.

This is why your role is to offer generous efforts, not only to feel lovable but also less fragile. Avoid the fear of dependency on intimate ties by making them need you. “I give, I give to you, I feel safe and also, I drink from your ability to feel.”

Fear of Feeling

Deep down lies the fear of feeling—the Pandora's box of feelings.

Fear of feeling fear, not being able to sustain it naturally, listening to it to see what it has to show. For fear itself became a fierce enemy. Fear of fear, of its terrifying ghosts. Only by holding and sustaining fear can this character discover the imaginary monsters that populate his mind and become a ghost hunter, making life much lighter.

Fear of feeling sad and, therefore, fragile, due to the threat of annihilation and hopelessness.

Fear of genuine anger and rage, for the dire consequences that they would entail, due to the ghosts of rejection and exclusion.

Fear of exercising freedom. To feel the intensity of life. Joy. Pleasure. Enjoyment, for the messages of seriousness and resignation. Fear of genuine lack of control over enjoyment. Being able to live life, being able to just explore, to be.