Transformation Process and Therapeutic Recommendations

At the beginning of the change process, it is not easy for the Self-Preservation 6 to recognize its daily selfishness. The personal process helps them to see that selfishness is the root of unhappiness insofar as it is a consequence of fear. Experiencing that a generous attitude toward others actually makes you feel stronger, freer, and more of a protagonist in life is an unexpected discovery.

It is also true that others are interested in receiving something from him. The lack of confidence in his abilities has long fueled the conviction that he is not really important to others. A bit like it happens to E4, in Self-Preservation 6, the other's genuine interest in him is contaminated with doubt about his inauthenticity and manipulation, by a projection of his own egoism onto the other.

The Self-Preservation 6 opens more easily to generosity when it overcomes the prejudice of not being important to the other.

Drop the crazy idea that “whatever my relationship with another is, I will not leave a trace, and if it did happen, it would be his weakness and not because of my personal value,” and this discovery helps to recognize his own value and his ability to love.

Enjoy the present

The transformation occurs when the Self-Preservation 6 realizes that paying obsessive attention to thoughts does not help to be sure, and accepts that there is a good deal of serendipity in life.

The transformation influences the form of thought, which ceases to be nebulous to become more precise and defined. As insecurity decreases, you can accurately define yourself and others. Meditation, especially za zen, is a precious aid to calm the mind and direct attention.

“Meditation gives me a lot. I need it. It calms me down, centers me, puts things in their place, calms me, clears me up. Although there are times, especially when I formally sit down to do it, when it triggers my anxiety, which I didn’t feel before. In any case, this works for me because I see it, although it can leave me worse than at the beginning.”

The transformation process is accompanied by a greater happiness in living. One aspect of Self-Preservation 6 neurosis is the denial of pleasure in itself, of carelessness, of satisfaction... It is as if pleasure had to be earned through duty, effort, and commitment.

Time must be used and have its usefulness. It's a commercial vision of life, like that of E3, where you have to spend time doing something. This takes you away from your authentic needs, puts the definition of yourself in terms of ability and approval from others—more on the plane of doing than being.

It is a great help for Self-Preservation 6 to get used to living in the here and now. Getting used to stopping this race of thought toward the future, this anticipation of events in order to control them, that gives no respite, helps to discover in the present a dimension of pleasure that is inherent to reality: that we should not do nothing to seek satisfaction. It is often there, where it is most obvious, and this is experienced by simply doing nothing. Zen meditation is, here too, one of the practices that produces a greater effect of change.

Integrate one's own history into the present

The rereading of one's own life makes possible a revaluation of the figure of the normative parent (in general, the father for men and the mother for women). This is possible thanks to the improvement of self-esteem and personal value. The father is no longer seen only as the one who punishes unjustly, as an authority to be feared. This aspect is repositioned in a perspective where positive aspects emerge that fear prevents us from seeing.

Working with the inner family in the SAT program is a fundamental experience for understanding because it helps to detach from the frightened, offended, and humiliated child, to reappropriate adult responsibility, and get out of the role of victim of authority and personal relationships.

The relationship with the mother is seen, thanks to personal evolution, more clearly in its ambivalence: care and deceit are more clearly distinguished. Often the mother has given the child a sufficiently credible model of herself as a “victim” of the father until the manipulative function of this strategy emerges, the purpose of which is to keep the child close for fear of abandonment.

Regarding the relationship with the siblings, a more direct confrontation is established that does not exclude the possibility of confrontation and competition, and that helps to overcome the feeling of guilt for not taking care of the family enough.

It is also possible to break the taboo of being better than your father or siblings if you become more successful in life than them, although it is always difficult to openly maintain a position of superiority, which would be a kind of betrayal.

Changes in Relationships

Personal evolution reinforces the ability to emotionally sustain both the fear of loneliness and the pressure of being forced to do what one doesn’t want. Control strategies thus become less necessary to maintain a dynamic balance between freedom and the search for protection.

The greater self-confidence acquired has a positive effect on affective relationships and, in particular, on relationships in which individuals may experience greater emotional involvement. The neurotic need to be forgiven and understood diminishes, leading to an expansion of emotional autonomy. This evolution fosters the expression of one’s feelings more directly, and a more generous and loving openness to relationships. It also helps individuals understand that others are different, interpreting their reactions and emotional discontinuity without paranoia. In short, they often feel that they can be of effective help to others, not just through their actions but also through emotional support.

They perceive their partner less as the “safe base” to refer to in difficult moments or as a source of demands and obligations that could limit their own freedom.

A space then opens up for an interdependent and adult vision of the relationship, characterized by a greater awareness of each person’s free responsibility and an acceptance of one’s own characteristic nature.

The acceptance of personal characteristics helps overcome envy and a fundamentally competitive attitude in encounters with others, from which, based on the educational message received, they should emerge victorious, thus denying the weak side that is functional to life.

The pleasure of being with someone is discovered when we are less concerned with having a place of our own. This character behaves as if they feel like they’re about to enjoy a good play, but only once they’re sure they’ve got a seat. To be less concerned about life, it is essential not to take others’ intentions too seriously, remembering that “there is a long way from saying to doing,” and trusting that there’s room for everyone, as there will always be someone missing. Not everyone likes the front row or the seats near the emergency exit.

It can be very useful to experiment with intermediate strategies in anger management and develop greater assertiveness, as well as transforming one's own attitudes in relationships perceived as highly problematic. For example, in situations where the other person tends to devalue or fail to recognize authority (lack of admiring love that reopens the wound with the father), as can happen with a Sexual E4; in cases of competition (as with a Social E3 or a Social E2); or the fight for territory (with an E8).

The problem to overcome is the “crazy” idea that “if I don’t hurt others, they won’t hurt me,” or “if I don’t make myself noticeable, others won’t notice me,” reconsidering how certain attitudes of avoidance or isolation tend to be precisely the wick of provocative behavior from others.

A stimulus for the transformation process is experiencing the ability to support one’s own ideas and learning to defend their validity in exchange with others. The Self-Preservation 6 is often mistakenly interpreted as a belittlement of their opinion when others haven’t understood them well due to their somewhat confused way of expressing themselves.

With change, they develop more confrontational capacity. Less fear of being wrong and showing disagreement favors the development of useful assertiveness.

Transforming the relationship with life requires calm acceptance of changes, even when they do not seem to be heading in the desired direction. In this way, self-benevolence and focus on the present are developed, since it is not strictly necessary to anticipate the future in order to avoid mistakes and overcome trials.

Freedom from anxiety about the future and judgment of the past bears the fruit of feeling less inadequate and stronger. Being more in the present gives them the opportunity to feel more serene and enjoy the little things that previously eluded them.

The passion for the idea of a safe and secure place makes Self-Preservation 6 suspicious of any form of change. Personal evolution leads them to reconsider that without movement, there is no life, and that in every change, something is lost, but also something is gained.

“I’m less reactive, I see situations happen, and I don’t get hooked on them. It’s delicious to let them go. I recover my center much more easily.”

The compulsive search for an ideal peaceful situation is left behind in the evolution of the warm Six, which becomes accustomed to spending more time in situations where serenity or control aren’t guaranteed, without the neurotic need to cut contact with others and withdraw into themselves, ultimately avoiding discontinuity in relationships.

Fear and Guilt

Guilt and fear are the most difficult obstacles to overcome for an Self-Preservation 6. Both are closely connected through their ideal of omnipotence. It is not easy for this character to realize that fear is their constant, as perceiving themselves as fragile and incompetent opposes the idea, internalized through messages from their parents, that they must be self-sufficient.

The perception of personal weakness causes shame, and therefore, it is not accepted. The irrational belief is that one must be strong and able to overcome all obstacles, as this, and only this, is where personal value lies, according to parental expectations. Realizing that they are not capable of doing this triggers feelings of guilt and fear of punishment.

Overcoming this irrational belief involves accepting that not everything can be controlled and that impotence is a reality of life and a personal limit. This new perspective, after an initial period of disorientation, generates feelings of peace and relaxation and is made possible through the development of self-compassion, revealing how absurd the effort to compete with the world is and how much fear stems from that pretentious attitude. The mistrust to be overcome is, above all, self-doubt; lack of trust in others is often a projection of not trusting oneself or taking responsibility for one’s own actions and feelings. Developing greater awareness of personal weakness encourages one to hold encounters with others, containing one’s fears but accepting the dignity within them. Understanding the meaning of fear helps the Self-Preservation 6 person gain dignity and overcome it.

Let’s not forget the aesthetic sense. The Self-Preservation 6 often turns their gaze inward, focusing on their thoughts and rarely using their sight. Contemplation is another fundamental aspect of transformation: looking without thinking, investing energy in an aesthetic appreciation of nature and others. Obviously, it’s harder with people, as encounters with others often trigger the false belief that action is required — that we cannot simply be present and observe.

“I’ve also discovered that contact with art does me good: it loosens me up and provides nourishment of a different kind, counteracting my rational and obsessive side, expanding and lightening me.”

Confidence in Affectivity and Creativity

Important for the transformation of this subtype is the development of a greater capacity to perceive life in terms of affectivity rather than rationality.

“At first, it was a lot to understand things with a broader perspective (not so rational, not so fixed). It was as if I could understand things beyond words and with my whole body, not just my head. It was as if I understood that life (reality) couldn’t be embodied in two dimensions, responding logically or consistently, but that its richness and depth were much denser and went much further, in all directions, something hardly captured by the intellect alone. Through reason, there are many ways to access it.”

As long as decisions are based on rationality, something will always be missing: conviction, clarity. Doubts about a possible mistake and self-blame remain.

What makes them move past doubt — and therefore guilt — is recovering an emotional sense of vital choices, feeling that the actions they took (or didn’t take) stemmed from a need they likely couldn’t fully articulate at the time, but the choice or indecision was present and sustained.

Arriving at this perspective is, for an Self-Preservation 6, like telling another story, viewing life from a new point of view, where only the criteria from family upbringing no longer matter (self-affirmation, security, duty, prestige — in short: affirmation of a role). Instead, affectivity is seen as a free, creative expression of oneself.

Another aspect to highlight is creativity. Excessive preoccupation with efficiency (not in terms of vanity but for security) and organizing life, knowledge, and capacities as resources against fear restricts and hinders creativity. An Self-Preservation 6 may discover with frustration that, when writing, they are adept at assembling others’ thoughts and giving them a good shape, but they are not spontaneous, nor creative. It can be a source of great satisfaction, on the path of personal development, to discover that creativity is something they can engage with joyfully once they allow themselves to be freer in the creative process.

Schubert gave his best in his last work, the Unfinished Symphony, and it was only when, as Claudio Naranjo affirms, he realized he had no more time at his disposal, knowing his death was near. It was like giving himself permission, only then, to express himself freely.

For all personality types, but especially for the warm E6, expression and creativity are truly therapeutic — experiences of satisfaction and self-confidence, self-assertion without fear or shame.

The Transformation for a Therapist Self-Preservation 6

One aspect of transformation that is most useful to patients is the ability to confront situations of manipulation and avoidance in therapy. Less fear of being wrong and expressing disagreement favors the development of valuable assertiveness. Regarding the professional role of therapist, this is initially perceived as an external locus (defined through rules, deontology, duty, etc.), but gradually evolves into an internal one: an autonomous search for the meaning of therapy, personal style, and ethics. This final dimension of values develops alongside spirituality and reduces the sense of duty, transforming the ethical viewpoint — in the Kantian sense — from heteronomous morality to autonomous morality.

The Self-Preservation 6 therapist is often more comfortable with clients who tend to be distant than with clients whose intensity may make them feel their relationship control strategy is at risk and their professional role threatened. To frame the problem from a

perspective other than guilt and inadequacy, supervision should help the therapist recognize that the situation is in constant flux, that some attempts at resolution may lead to greater fractures, or that the same problem reappears over and over again, and to remain open to losing hope.

Having more confidence in their own intuition and sensitivity, even when it leads them in a direction that isn’t entirely consistent with their rational viewpoint, helps them develop creativity in the therapeutic process.

The virtue of E6 is courage, and its holy idea is essential faith — faith that things are as they are, without searching for hidden reasons, accepting the phenomenon as it manifests itself, in the here and now. This phenomenology of being can lead to cognitive change, as Self-Preservation 6 struggles with being obvious.

With transformation, the therapist of this subtype develops a more phenomenological attitude: observing and understanding, rather than explaining. As in the movement of Beethoven’s quartet, Muss es sein: "It must be so," without reason, without explanation. This change helps them perceive others as a whole and immediately, postponing the need to create hypotheses and maps to frame what they see.