Transformation Process And Therapeutic Recommendations

For the Sexual 6, initiating a transformation process means recognizing that the core motivation for their behavior and existential position is fear. Realizing that their need to be strong and insolent, their arrogance and aggressiveness, hide a trembling before life.

On an emotional level, the counterphobic feels fear, but there is a redefinition of fear in terms of an obstacle, a limit, and a shameful defect from which they must free themselves. To do this, they develop a series of behaviors whose objective is to convince themselves and others that they are not victims of fear. Being discovered as fearful means reactivating the feeling of indignity and insecurity that they try to hide through their specific passion: strength.

The voice of the inner child has been stifled to build an adult character who knows how to face life, someone who doesn’t need anyone. It is important to once again give a voice to

the child who needs protection, who needs loving and warm contact, in order to have confidence that they are a person worthy of existence, of being seen, a kind person. You need someone to convey to you the dignity of being fragile, of feeling afraid.

Characters in Search of Being, La Llave, Barcelona, 2012.

G. Cecchini, “The Transformation in the Sexual 6,” in C. Naranjo,¹

The sexual and social subtypes of the E6 do not admit having difficulties, and if they admit them, they try above all to solve them by themselves. They believe that no professional can know better than they do what is happening to them, much less have the capacity to help them. They cannot trust and open their doors at the risk of being ridiculed or humiliated again for the nature of their feelings.

The psychotherapist I was sitting before gave me feedback after listening to me. “If you decide to leave the couple and separate, it will not be necessary to talk about couples therapy, obviously; but, in any case, from what you have explained, you need help. I recommend that you look for someone who can accompany you.”

These words felt like a sentence in which the verdict was that I was guilty for not having a better life, a better personality, a better family... I was now guilty and powerless to solve my affairs by myself, as I had always done. It put me in touch with my deepest terrors, and that I continually expelled myself. I heard that I was crazy. (R)

To trust a therapist, the Sexual 6 must feel that the therapist respects their shame at being weak and can help them experience fear as something natural; maybe it’s about feeling like it’s normal to be “kids.”

But to get to that and enter into a therapeutic process, the person with this type of character must work with the crazy idea that whoever recognizes their fear can hurt them, invade them, or make fun of them. That is why it is very important that you feel the therapist’s appreciation.

Mutual appreciation, because no counterphobic E6 would put themselves in the hands of a therapist they do not consider competent, valid, and professionally correct. This could constitute a limit, because their admiration for authority is based on rational references. But it is necessary for you to accept this limit in order to open up and begin to take the emotional world into account.

At a very difficult moment in my life, when I was coming out of a relationship with a “teacher” for whom I had felt mistreated and exploited in recent years, I decided to start an analysis. Although I was a gestalt therapist, I chose a psychoanalyst. In the first session, I told him that I had chosen him because I did not want any type of physical or visual contact

and because he was a professional of mature age. The fear of feeling invaded and manipulated was such that I resorted to a therapeutic relationship that would ensure me a maximum of professionalism even though it would have implied a cold relationship. This allowed me to trust and carry out the analysis. (G.)

If the therapist is able to marry professional competence with warm understanding, there is good hope that the Sexual 6 will “fall” into the web of the therapeutic relationship and begin to shed its armor.

Finding a therapist who helped me to work, feeling their support, confronting me from a place that I felt very respectful, and that now I can also recognize as loving, allowed me to start retracing the path towards my original pain, acknowledging and respecting it, holding my map, and whom I could equally admire for their outstanding values, was the key to staying and entering the process. (R.)

And also, hand in hand with the therapist—as a powerful threatening image—the process of change involves beginning to trust that there is someone, that they can cede control and rely on another, as a seed on which to build self-confidence. From there, it is easier to discover that the territory is much richer than what the map showed, and to risk exploring.

It is, essentially, a landing from the cognitive or mental “up there” to reality “here now,” putting the body at stake as an opening to the emotional.

You have to become aware of the physical armor of the silent contractures. You must open the door of the body with the keys of the intestines and the heart that have hardened. Therefore, the best thing is relaxation and breathing; realize how the stomach—those who accompany “verbal” therapy exercises or practices that help you regain flexibility. Yoga or martial arts (which many practice) are surely useful, but at a deeper level, those that do not require discipline or control, such as massage or dance, have a greater impact.

In order to recognize the control that you unconsciously exercised over your body, it has been unexpectedly helpful to learn to dance the tango. I was then able to touch with my hands the difficulty of giving myself up, of following my dance partner, because I was always aware of the movements to do everything well, instead of enjoying the hug and the music. (G.)

Another step, after the recognition of fear and armor, is to learn not to react defensively, to listen and allow yourself to be touched by what the other says, without responding quickly to avoid emotional contact and the fear of being attacked. The moment they recognize their reactive behavior of invasion and aggression, the Sexual 6 can listen to the fear of being hurt and give space to the pain of their wounds. But, above all, they can realize how they control the other and want to dominate them so that they become innocuous.

In a situation where I was feeling offended and mistreated, I realized how I impulsively resorted to anger and criticism. I then made a pact with myself not to respond to anything they said to me. Only then did I realize how aggression and rage were a way of maintaining control of reality, a kind of desire to paralyze the other so they would not harm me. (G.)

For the containment of reactive aggressiveness, it helps a lot to realize the defense mechanism that is projection. The work with gestalt is precious: each hot chair that helps to reveal the projection is a step forward towards calm, relaxation. The level of anxiety decreases, and thinking is more lucid, less “labyrinthine.” The Sexual 6 realizes there that the world is different from how they thought, that human beings are different from how they thought they understood them. The world seems less dangerous, and the intensity of the paranoia decreases. An understanding appears: not everyone lives in fear; The people who express their feelings are neither frivolous nor banal: those who bet on living are not fools. It is important to notice how they use criticism and doubt to justify action paralysis and extreme caution.

Recognizing how they postpone their actions, their shyness and inhibition, how they don’t give themselves in relationships, and how unattainable they are helps the Sexual 6 to take off their mask. To see the falsehood of their strength, their cynicism, and their pragmatism. And that they are not right. Although this creates a state of insecurity and a sense of loss of identity, they need to be helped to stop in that state and sustain it so that they can search for a different force, the one that comes from the depths of self-confidence.

“Surrender”, which directly speaks to the neurotic core of the Sexual 6, is essential for the process and attitude of evolution. Surrender demands that this character take an act of bravery, setting aside doubt, rationalization, and obsessive thinking to begin trusting their own perceptions and developing intuition, while becoming aware of the void they must enter to experience a new life, a rebirth.

Following animal wisdom: "offer your neck," the mantra "do nothing," and the gestalt maxim "and that's me too" (vulnerable, fragile, agile, tender, awkward, fearful...) in order to transform into a soft being—slow, calm, and loving.

In the Fisher trial, where the wolf that emerged from my core was dark, flashing, voracious, and validating its aggression, I felt my howl return; and thus, I began my journey of healing and transformation. Years later, in group therapy, the therapist invited: "Now, invoke your power animal to guide you, to calm you, to give you strength in the face of the present and not-so-easy challenge you've taken on with yourself..."

Suddenly, in front of me, a yellow-eyed wolf with a languid gaze showed me understanding, acceptance, and tenderness. I felt this was the true path. (L.)

The work for the Sexual 6 involves laying down arms and paying attention to how and why they arm themselves at each step, in every interaction. It is the step before letting go and committing yourself to service with no ulterior motive—service as the sole intention.

The Enneagram map allows us to dive deeper into self-awareness in the present. It helps a Sexual 6 understand how they differ from others, awakening a humble sense of compassion and acceptance of others, softening the sharpness of judgment. At the same time, it is a way to accept oneself, judge oneself less, and embrace oneself with compassion.

From there, the Enneagram's great potential lies in the spiral path towards discovering the core of character—the origin or "zero point" of neurosis—experiencing the interrupted self, and restarting the path from a new familiarity with one’s most authentic self.

Rediscovering the feminine/maternal part is crucial. Experience how beautiful and comforting it is to hug and be hugged, and to stay in the hug, enjoying it. Their hugs are generally rigid, strong, and fleeting; they cannot tolerate the bond, not knowing how to be in a relationship while feeling free. It is important to realize that their much-proclaimed self-sufficiency is none other than the flight from intimacy, the fear of getting lost. A consistent therapeutic relationship is more helpful, so they can learn to trust human relationships and understand the value of being cared for.

Without a doubt, the Sexual 6, like all schizoids, "loses their mind," reconciles with the instinctive part, and needs to place pleasure at the forefront of their values. In this sense, the SAT program has been, for everyone interviewed here, an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual revolution. Everyone feels that they have finally been exposed to a centrifugal force that has allowed them to surrender and experience pleasure and freedom.

Theater, authentic and spontaneous movement, voice work, and coexistence are the real medicines. Theater is a masterful path to dissolve projections and nurture the ability to put oneself in the other's place. Theater/clown, especially, allows them not to take their "reasons" too seriously and to face the "ridicule" they fear most. It is a powerful antidote to shyness.

The most important fruit of authentic movement is connecting the body with essential action: an action that does not come from the head but from contact with the whole organism. It is a providential exercise of trust in organismic self-regulation and surrender to one’s own emotions.

Sing. When I sing, I connect with my heart, a channel of pure emotion that sweeps me up, takes me, fills me. I feel more alive, more human. This also happens when I recite, dance, or

love. Yes, it’s so when my head stops: when I leave myself alone, the sensation is peace; lots of peace and freedom. (J.)

If this character turns to Dionysus, they may find salvation, mitigating the rigid and inflexible Apollo. Dionysus represents dance, pleasure, and madness—things that the Sexual 6 needs: to break free from logic, open to mystery, and recognize the limits of their rational mind, the absurdity of claiming to have the entire Universe within their brain.

An important issue during the transformation process is recovering erotic love, sensuality, orgasmic and static surrender to the other and to pleasure. Reclaim the sacredness of sex, and come to recognize that the body is a temple.

A space for free creativity also opens up, a space that the E6 character finds difficult to expand due to their struggle in relinquishing control of their rational hemisphere.

Working with the inner family is a crucial moment for the counterphobic. First, to learn how to transform aggression into directed rage. The innocent anger of the child emerges from silence and breaks through the wall they have built, marking the first step towards recognizing love and the need for love.

From there, one can begin the process of understanding the offender, seeing them as a human being, and opening the doors to forgiveness. Recognizing identification with the aggressor, the Sexual 6 finally becomes aware of their patriarchal character, without defensive ideological masks: authoritarianism, aggression, rational control, competition.

This is a fundamental process of integration, in which the good and the bad, the victim and the aggressor, unite, allowing one to recognize themselves in the integration of parts, overcoming self-rejection caused by identification with the malevolent and guilty party.

I’ve been conducting the inner family work in SAT 2 for many years. By assigning me this task, Claudio has given me the opportunity to constantly live in a bath of understanding and forgiveness, which has helped me completely rebuild the loving relationship with my mother and father, and it allowed me to experience the death of my mother as the highest expression of love for her. (G.)

Courage

Courage is the virtue that neutralizes fear. For the Sexual 6, it is about the courage not to defend oneself, to surrender, to risk the death of one’s armor.

Courage to act, to make mistakes, not to justify oneself, not to accuse or blame oneself, and to accept the consequences. The error is not fatal; it can be fixed, and an apology can be made. Falling does not mean dying, it does not mean being invalid, and it does not mean losing credibility. Courage to disarm, to open up to tenderness. Surrender on a cognitive (accepting that I am wrong), emotional (to the unknown), and instinctive (feeling the action) level.

Return a dignified look towards oneself. Recompose the dialogue with the inner child to transform the monster: from a bad boy to a scared boy.

Feel through thinking. Do not speak, do not justify, do not analyze—just let go. Be. Show my mistakes, my clumsiness. Connect with my need to show myself as needy. Give myself permission for pain, give it time and space, show it in the right way, so I don’t forget about myself. (L.)

This patriarchal character, which emphasizes rationality, must integrate compassion toward their inner child, who has not received the healing force of love. This can open the doors to protection and healing, both toward themselves and the other who has hurt them.

As much as the Sexual 6 can become a fanatic, they never stop doubting or easily adapting to dogmas. Their distrust is such that they cannot join someone or something. The ambivalence exists both outside and inside, and thus they do not reach a feeling of belonging. The moment they manage to recognize the authenticity of what they feel, they can accept that they are part of a group, a whole.

The practice of courage opens the way to surrender, to faith in organismic self-regulation. It implies the confidence that the world has a natural justice and beauty and that they are part of that world, perceiving themselves as worthy and not cursed. There is nothing else to do; they can be left alone. Opening up to the other without wondering if they will be trustworthy, enjoying the opportunity for pleasure, love, and affection. They can separate from the other without feeling guilty and build their differentiation process, with the courage to risk losing the relationship.

Meditation is the antidote to suffering and neurosis. It is true that, at the beginning of the teachings, mental people know very well how to manipulate meditation, leading it to a simple state of relaxation and calm. But if the practice is prolonged, the individual may be pleasantly surprised by insights that come not from intellectual understanding, but from the silence of the mind. This, in and of itself, feeds a sense of faith.

Zen meditation, for this type of character, is a medicine: stop the mind, cleanse it, and admit the value it has given to a small mind full of thoughts. The moment they manage to contact the "big mind," it is as if the world opens through a spacious and wide breath.

Why is it that every time I recognize myself in what I have denied, in what I have pursued, I feel at peace, and less anxious to carry out great feats?

Why is it that every time I soften under the sword, I assume my actions, and, above all, I do not justify them, deep inside me I feel rest and a desire to be calmed, collected, and accompanied? (L.)

Faith is the space in which the Sexual 6 can find mental and spiritual health. They can achieve faith in themselves when they finally accept faith in something bigger, something that cannot be analyzed or pigeonholed. In the end, they are forced to surrender, can rest, and begin to respect their soul and believe in its depth.

During a deep meditation, I opened my eyes and saw Claudio in a state of bliss. I felt small and stupid because until that moment, I had not seen how great his teaching was and how presumptuous it had been to think that I had "understood" him. That bliss went beyond any cognitive explanation; it revealed to me an absolutely unknown state of being. (G.)

What is the experience of emptiness for a Sexual 6? Dance with the inconsistencies of life, with the awareness that life can only be lived by dying. As long as you are so defensive for your survival, you cannot make room for living. As long as you fight not to feel precarious, you cannot enjoy the freedom of being impermanent.