Transformation Process And Therapeutic Recommendations
The path of transformation for a Sexual 7 is characterized by numerous critical problems that manifest from the outset. The first obstacle is often the motivation for change. The entire character structure of the Sexual 7 is organized to maintain an altered relationship with reality and an identification of self as being in love with life. Every stimulus is manipulated in accordance with this neurotic requirement, even dramatic events.
Given these premises, it is very difficult for the Sexual 7 to start their journey from the recognition of some kind of suffering in their life or from an active search for help. It is easier for them to request support to resolve a specific problem without calling it into question from an attitude of individual responsibility.
“When the Sexual 7 begins therapy, they will likely go to ask the therapist to help them resolve issues such as the weakness of their will to put into practice their many invented plans, or perhaps their relationship with their partner is in trouble, since the Sexual 7 has been receiving more than they give, and therefore is required to make changes. The therapist must also be on the lookout for ‘distraction sophistry,’ a type of defense in which the Sexual 7 insists on taking the place of the therapist and thus becomes the ineffective therapist of themselves, inventing only intellectual solutions to their problems. Through this resource, they will generate seductive and brilliant insights, as well as evoke seemingly profound themes with which they will question and answer themselves. Left to their own devices, they would create developments with free associations coming from their inexhaustible source of imagination.”
The motivating spring of the transformation process is often the same neurotic passion—gluttony. The Sexual 7 begins their “hero's journey” as a new adventure in which they will participate with childish enthusiasm, intending to improve their life and make it even more pleasurable.
“You need to focus on only one therapy; my tendency for years has been to go into many different therapies (rebirthing, yoga, meditation, Osho, NLP), but doing them superficially, not going deep. There is a need for earthly therapies, not abstract ones.”
Change involves progressive grounding and gradual disillusionment, as well as cohabitation with a less aroused physical state. In short, it requires the reduction of the constant state of hypomania. Structural change requires long periods of time and a sufficiently varied, polyhedral container. For example, the path proposed in the SAT program responds to specific characteristics: it is flexible, stimulating, and requires long-term individual participation, but at the same time, it has short and intense operational time scales. In connection with a neurotic state, the Sexual 7 can begin their journey of transformation in absolute unconsciousness.
“The work with the Enneatypes began to predispose me to empathy and understanding of the reasons of others, awakening in me a real interest. And it worked, albeit unconsciously at first, in the confidence that my limits and my neurosis could, if I observed and transformed them, be useful to others in a conscientious mission to develop a plan for the rehabilitation of society. This, which at first was just an exciting idea, has turned into a warmer, empathic awareness and, later, a form of compassion and love towards myself, and also towards my colleagues on the SAT, a way of opening myself with more heart towards other human beings.”
Therefore, the early stages of the process are organized in collusion with the character structure. To use a metaphor, the task is not to pop the balloon in the child's hands, but to gradually interest and involve them in other activities that are just as enjoyable, if less dreamy. A first step is the recognition of the character structure, of the emptiness on which that apparent happiness is based. It is a very difficult passage because the Sexual 7 experiences subjective well-being, is perpetually in a state of excitement, and cultivates happy thoughts about life: they feel and describe themselves as a happy person. It is not easy to leave this state voluntarily and intentionally, except through a progressive unmasking and the intuition of a further potential state of well-being.
“They will also complain about themselves, probably for not achieving something, since the effort implies the pain that they avoid, and success results in having to assume responsibilities. That comes at a price: having to abdicate their comfort zone and make sacrifices. They will only strive to do certain things as long as it is what they like the most, and they will tend to do that always, more and more.”
Confrontation in groups of the same subtype can be very effective in this first phase. The group's glue generates heat and clings while activating a mirror component. Like children at a summer camp, everything is a wink of smiles, glances, and jokes, while prolonged verbal confrontation as an end in itself, regardless of external feedback and not supported empathetically, leads to physiological collapse. They all say "I," "I," and "I," focused only on their ability to get the listener's attention.
“I was very attentive, trying to check if the therapist was attentive to everything I said to him. I prepared some other verbal trap for him to see if he was really attending to my process. I was so aware of that that I neglected the most important thing.”
Like chirping chicks, they act from a need for attention, launching hyperbolic arguments. In this first mirroring process, where interpersonal strategies are amplified and recognition needs are necessarily frustrated, a space of authentic motivation can open up.
“The work with the Enneatypes, already in SAT I, almost immediately gave me the possibility of going beyond judgment. The people seemed to me the characters of a good play, in the best sense of the word, with their world now more understandable and motivations dictated by the neurotic lenses of their Enneatype. Among them, and on the same level, I too was about to make myself known.”
A fundamental issue is contact with deficiency, with emptiness, and with basic anguish.
“I have seen my seduction, the compulsion to sympathize with others, as a form of unacknowledged selfishness, and I understood that I do nothing for others that is not always for my benefit. I understood what my fraudulence consisted of, which I had not seen before, and I also recognized self-indulgence as a form of self-deception. How my tendency to think positive, instead of wisdom, was rather an inability to contact the pain and stay in it.”
“The exceptional, the extravagant, pretending to be unique, has been at some stages of my life a true reason for being. Without that, I was convinced that no one was going to love me: friends were going to abandon me, women were going to ignore me... This attitude led to many mistakes, especially in my sentimental life. I couldn’t take care of my feelings or those of others; I was only interested in fascinating things so that they wouldn’t leave me alone.”
At this stage, it is essential to create genuinely supportive links. The Sexual 7 must be equipped to pass through this stage, and it is desirable that they have begun to develop some existential competencies. In the first place, the possibility of coming into contact with one's own emotional world and differentiating it, through, for example, Gestalt therapy interventions or the exploration of oneself through theatre.
“It also helped me to be in contact with my fear, to listen to it, and to be able to live with it, to recognize it.”
“Theatrical physical training helped me to embody myself, since I was a mental and intellectual character.”
“What helped me to replace the support of the world with self-support was to explore the emotions, hold them, and feel a depth within me, when before I felt basically two-dimensional. Discovering a non-intellectual inner world aroused in me an incredible thirst for contact with myself.”
Another fundamental acquisition is greater confidence in the body and more articulate listening for subtle cues, as authentic movement practices encourage.
“The bodily sensations of the Sexual 7 always harbor chapters of their history, and when they immerse themselves in them, they can release emotions and feelings associated with
the images of their rage denied and their pain avoided. The therapist will be attentive to go deeper into each emotion, amplifying them. They will also return to chest sensations, accessing images connected to them, should the client become distracted again, which is all too likely to happen when their quick mind interferes, interpreting themselves or acting as a commenter, fueled to seduce their therapist with insights.”
“With the therapeutic process, I have opened myself to theatre and body expression, working with biomechanics and the theatre of the flesh of Artaud. If before I knew how to use the body technically and intellectually (I am a musician and mountaineering instructor), then I had to learn from scratch to listen to my body, its needs, desires, and emotions.”
The practice of detachment through some forms of meditation favors progressive identification with a self that is broader than the character structure—an element that generates confidence in the possibility of experiencing containment, without being overwhelmed, in the face of depressive and distressing experiences that otherwise they would live as desperate.
“I have been able to explore meditation, which I already practiced regularly, in a new way and with more helpful prompts available, and integrate it more into the transformation process. By being able to practice Dzogchen every day, SAT V made me have a new experience about the nature of the mind, which I hope will help me to deepen this tool for me. Given the mental nature of my character, it seems fundamental, because it makes me enter the body and the present, in an inner calm that centers me.”
Only with this baggage can the Sexual 7 surrender to a necessary, and for them devastating, fall to earth.
Only with this baggage can the Sexual 7 surrender to a necessary—and, for him, devastating—fall to earth.
“The therapist's question must be addressed to the concrete level of the earth and not to the sky of the intellect.”
“Begin to see that the world is not just pink; that black, dark brown, and blood red also exist. Understand and experience that I am a very sensitive person. It helped me embrace my part as a girl and be able to accompany her now as the adult that I am.”
It is an authentic and propitious expulsion from paradise, and only a sensibly anchored longing for liberation can bring this character into more authentic contact with its essence. At this stage, peak experiences can be helpful, both through some bodywork and the use of psychedelics.
“Physical contact has helped me a lot. Working with dreams has also been important; there I defend myself less and give myself more. Bodywork has been very helpful, especially hyperventilating or trance-like rhythmic movements, Osho moving meditation, and work with sacred plants, of course.”
It is important that there is a balance between the Dionysian and Apollonian dimensions. The Dionysian must occur in such a way that the Sexual 7 can sustain an erotic potential firmly anchored to vital instances.
“What I learned from this daydream was something concrete. Again, life put me in one of those dread-provoking situations that a Sexual 7 would be happy not to confront. However, there was no room for avoidance. Right where I was, I closed my eyes, felt that knot in my stomach again, listened to these horrible beings, let them unfold, and, as in the dream, fixed my gaze on one of them and touched it for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, I was already calmer, and I felt like I had drawn new strength from somewhere else. Of course, everything went better later. Not avoiding that world, but recognizing it and facing it.”
“Additionally, around that time, I met two American therapists who did experiential work with sexuality that I found very interesting. I also began this process of sexual therapy. I think this therapy was the one that helped me the most to contain desire and impulsiveness.”
The Apollonian dimension will be implemented as the possibility of structuring a broad, containing, stable, and directed vision. The work of transformation in this character acts directly, almost by imprinting, eroding the character structure while creating new ways of processing life experiences. Only through this meticulous work of restructuring are the foundations laid for a biographical revision, the recognition of painful facts, and the necessary reparative process. At this stage, the Sexual 7 may also intentionally access individual therapy.
“With a severely depressed mother who had suicidal and paranoid mania, and an authoritarian, unaffectionate, and absent father, I developed a character that has difficulty expressing its pain because no one was there to hear it. That difficulty partly turned into an inability to hear my own pain.”
“For a long time, I felt, at the end of the afternoon, a tickling sensation in my stomach that later turned into a knot and ended up overwhelming me. Every day. It was a feeling of great anguish, which depressed me, made me very melancholy, and made me think of all kinds of strategies and distractions to erase it. After years of therapy and detours on the matter, I decided to speak about it in one session.”
Going through individual pain is possible thanks to the development of compassion. It involves transporting this wounded core from forced self-arousal to a less intense and longer-lasting pleasure—a mesencephalic rather than reptilian pleasure. The interventions of this period are fundamentally corporeal and take place in a warm, constant, welcoming, and containing environment, akin to a maternal presence.
“It helped me a lot when my therapist acted as a father figure and gave me the recognition and physical affection that my father did not. That was very healing for me. It has helped me to trust my therapist the moment he expressed his difficulties and showed himself more as a person than as a therapist.”
“As a client, what has helped me is closeness, compassion, being confronted with love, having my pain recognized, and being shown my demands. The demand makes me difficult and rebellious. Accusation without a bond, when I notice judgment, when I feel accused without love—those things are unhelpful.”
“Discovering that I was envious of someone has been a relief: it meant not feeling alone because I was able to recognize that there was someone in the world better than me, someone I could admire.”
The final meeting takes place in the paternal passage—toward that broad and stable Apollonian vision that only a father figure can provide. This manifests at a specific level with characteristics such as greater congruence, consistency, and constancy.
“I believe that commitment and perseverance in the therapeutic process were the foundation of my progress. Until I committed to following it regularly, there was little point in starting. I like it and find it helpful when they confront me in a clear and forceful way.”
“It was very difficult for me to surrender upon seeing the failures of my therapist, seeing his ego because he reacted and put himself above me. It was very difficult for me to go through that stage. Of course, once I overcame it, a total dedication to him followed—listening, taking advantage of each phrase, and trusting his intuition and wisdom.”
The new balance supports a more virtuous global operation, oriented toward sobriety. It manifests with a greater rootedness in reality and a more empathetic relational life, aimed at realizing a more stable and coherent life plan. At this level of transformation, the Sexual 7 recognizes himself at a more complex existential level—losing excitement and enthusiasm but gaining meaning, including others, and integrating the "negative" aspects of reality.
“He did meditation retreats and worked with psychedelics and power plants. In the summer, I continued taking the SATs, which I found fantastic. I remember one of them when, seeking his recognition, I told Claudio about all the therapies I was doing. He told me
that it was a good sign to have put gluttony at the service of self-knowledge but that, as in life itself, doing too much at the same time meant assimilating little.”
“It is my work that actually helps me be a Sexual 7: I work alone, each new book is a new challenge, repetition and boredom have no place, my task is done in silence, looking inward. I work with emotions and imagination...”
In summary, working with the Sexual 7 can be useful in the following ways:
• Reducing the inflation of erotic love through sincere and constant communication, with a commitment to a partner or a vital commitment such as parenthood. • Engaging in generous, non-self-centered tasks, such as volunteering—provided it is not used to further inflate a grandiose self-image. • Maintaining consistency in a concrete transformation process, curbing the tendency to flit between disciplines out of enthusiasm or fleeting pseudo-infatuation.
“In this way, the less I seduced, the less I sought. One night, the person who is now my wife appeared. Thanks to her support, understanding, and mutual trust, we have a stable relationship—neither great passions nor disappointments. We understand that we are here, without being overwhelmed, seeing our inability to love, learning together, and committing to each other. We have decided to want to love each other. No one has taught us to love, and we feel like we are in kindergarten, putting all our enthusiasm into this exciting learning process of coexistence and loyalty. We have already gone through individual and shared crises.”
Only with this baggage can the Sexual 7 surrender to a necessary—and for him, devastating—fall to earth.
“The therapist's question must be addressed to the concrete level of the earth and not to the sky of the intellect.”
“Begin to see that the world is not just pink; that black, dark brown, and blood red also exist. Understand and experience that I am a very sensitive person. It helped me embrace my part as a girl and be able to accompany her now as the adult that I am.”
It is an authentic and propitious expulsion from paradise, and only a sensibly anchored longing for liberation can bring this character into more genuine contact with their essence. At this stage, peak experiences can be helpful, both through certain bodywork techniques and the use of psychedelics.
“Physical contact has helped me a lot. Working with dreams has also been important—there I defend myself less and give myself more. Bodywork has
been very helpful, especially hyperventilating or trance-like rhythmic movements, Osho moving meditation, and work with sacred plants, of course.”
It is important to maintain a balance between the Dionysian and Apollonian dimensions. The Dionysian must be experienced in a way that allows the Sexual 7 to sustain an erotic potential firmly anchored in vital instances.
“What I learned from this daydream was something concrete. Again, life put me in one of those dread-provoking situations that a Sexual 7 would be happy not to confront. However, there was no way to avoid it. Right where I was, I closed my eyes, felt that knot in my stomach again, listened to these horrible beings, let them unfold, and, as in the dream, I fixed on one of them and touched it for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, I was already calmer and felt like I had drawn new strength from somewhere else. Of course, everything went better afterward—not by avoiding that world, but by recognizing and facing it.”
“Around that time, I also met two American therapists who did experiential work with sexuality that I found very interesting, and I began this process of sexual therapy. I think this therapy was the one that helped me the most to contain desire and impulsiveness.”
The Apollonian dimension is implemented as the possibility of structuring a broad, stable, and directed vision of containment. The work of transformation in this character acts directly—almost like an imprint—eroding the character structure while simultaneously creating new ways of processing life experience. Only through this meticulous restructuring can the foundation be laid for biographical revision, the recognition of painful facts, and the necessary reparative process. At this stage, the Sexual 7 may also intentionally seek individual therapy.
“With a severely depressed mother suffering from suicidal and paranoid mania, and an authoritarian, unaffectionate, and absent father, I developed a character that has difficulty expressing its pain because no one was there to hear it. That, in part, turned into an inability to hear it myself.”
“For a long time, I felt, at the end of the afternoon, a tickle in my stomach that later turned into a knot and ended up overwhelming me. Every day. It was a feeling of great anguish that deeply depressed me, made me melancholic, and drove me to think of all kinds of strategies and distractions to erase it. After years of therapy and detours on the matter, I finally decided to talk about it in one session.”
Going through individual pain becomes possible through the development of compassion. This involves shifting the wounded core from forced self-arousal to a less intense, longer-lasting pleasure—a mesencephalic rather than reptilian pleasure. The interventions at this stage are fundamentally corporeal in nature, taking place in a warm, constant, welcoming, and containing environment—one that is maternal in quality.
“It helped me immensely when my therapist acted as a father figure and gave me the recognition and physical affection that my own father never did. That was incredibly healing for me. It has also helped me to trust my therapist when he has expressed his own difficulties and shown himself more as a person than merely as a therapist.”
“As a client, what has helped me most is closeness, compassion, being confronted with love, having my pain recognized, and being shown my demands. My demands make me difficult and rebellious. What doesn't help is accusation without connection—when I sense judgment, when I feel accused without love.”
“Discovering that I was envious of someone has been a relief—it meant I no longer felt alone. I was able to recognize that there was someone in the world better than me, someone I could admire.”
The final stage occurs in the paternal passage—toward that broad and stable Apollonian vision that only a father figure can provide. This manifests in characteristics such as greater congruence, consistency, and constancy.
“I believe that commitment and perseverance in the therapeutic process were the foundation of my progress. Until I committed to following it regularly, there was little point in starting. I like it when they confront me in a clear and forceful way—it helps me.”
“It was incredibly difficult for me to surrender when I saw my therapist’s failures, his ego, and the moments when he reacted and placed himself above me. That stage was hard to get through. But once I did, I found myself completely dedicated—listening, absorbing every phrase, and trusting his intuition and wisdom.”
The new balance supports a more virtuous, globally integrated way of being—one oriented toward sobriety. It manifests as greater grounding in reality and a more empathetic relational life, centered on building a stable and coherent life plan. At this level of transformation, the Sexual 7 can recognize themselves at a more complex existential level. What they have lost in excitement and enthusiasm, they have gained in the attribution of
meaning—one that includes others and is based on a newfound ability to integrate the "negative" aspects of reality.
“I did meditation retreats and worked with psychedelics and power plants. During the summer, I continued attending the SATs, which I found fantastic. I remember one of them when, seeking recognition, I told Claudio about all the therapies I was doing. He told me that it was a good sign to have put gluttony at the service of self-knowledge but warned that, as in life itself, by doing too much at the same time, I was likely assimilating little.”
“It is actually my work that helps me to be a Sexual 7: I work alone, each new book is a new challenge, repetition and boredom have no place, my task is done in silence, looking inward—I work with emotions and imagination.”
Summary
In working with the Sexual 7, it can be useful to:
• Reduce the inflation of erotic love through sincere and constant communication, with a commitment to a partner or a vital commitment such as parenthood. • Engage in generous, non-self-centered tasks, such as volunteering, as long as it is not used to further inflate a grandiose self-image. • Commit to a concrete transformation process, resisting the tendency to jump between disciplines out of enthusiasm or fleeting pseudo-infatuation.
“In this way, the less I seduced, the less I sought—and one night, the person who is now my wife appeared. Thanks to her support, understanding, and mutual trust, we have a stable relationship. Neither great passions nor disappointments. I have understood that we are here, not overwhelmed, acknowledging our inability to love, learning together, and committing to the relationship. We have chosen to want to love each other. No one has taught us how to love, and we feel like we are in kindergarten, with all the enthusiasm placed in this exciting learning process of coexistence and loyalty. We have already navigated through individual and shared crises.”
The Three Loves in Transformation
Regarding the three loves, transformation moves in the opposite direction of neurosis. The development of compassion and admiring love balances the presence of all three loves in the life of the Sexual 7, ultimately working toward dissolving their hierarchy.
For a character prone to getting lost in fantasy, contact with the earth—with the real scale of things—is crucial. When the three loves are leveled, they help guide the Sexual 7 toward a greater degree of vital coherence and a broader sense of authenticity.
Compassionate love is the first to be affected by transformation, brought about by the face-to-face encounter with pain. By feeling his own wound, he learns to also feel the pain of others without being overwhelmed. Allowing yourself to feel pain is a return to the earth, to the true dimension of reality. It is also an important awareness, as you realize that feeling pain—both your own and others'—does not kill you. This realization breaks the irrational belief that pain is unbearable.
Making your pain visible and tolerable enables you to acknowledge the pain of others in a realistic way, making it unnecessary to pretend not to see it. This pretense is merely one of the many strategies of this subtype, developed out of fear of having his own pain revealed to him.
The way to cultivate and strengthen compassionate love is by making commitments—caring for others through small but consistent acts that require daily presence. Many Sexual 7s find themselves immersed in this type of love when they take on the responsibility of caring for young children, the elderly, or those in need. Family ties are particularly therapeutic, as they are not related to a profession or sporadic acts of generosity; instead, they demand constant presence and directly confront you with your responsibilities. This provides a profound opportunity to experience benevolent love firsthand—loving someone without fear of being betrayed or used.
For many, becoming parents was perhaps the most significant event of their lives, helping them achieve balance, curb their neurosis, and temper their gluttony. Parenthood requires setting aside personal inconsistency and committing to responsibility in life. It serves as an important vehicle for developing a deeper understanding of compassion, as if parenting offers the opportunity to finally care for the inner child and begin healing past wounds.
One could say that the Sexual 7 has the potential to be a good parent—if there is such a thing as being "a good parent." More accurately, having children can lead one to become a good parent and, in turn, a better person.
As for the transformation of erotic love, acknowledging his own pain and getting in touch with his needs paradoxically helps him experience true pleasure—the very thing this subtype so desperately seeks. By removing the necessity to avoid pain, the compulsive pursuit of new challenges, both physical and intellectual, diminishes. As a result, his ability to enjoy the present moment increases, and he finally learns to appreciate the small pleasures of life.
For the Sexual 7, it is especially useful to understand that real pleasures are much smaller than imagined. However, this very quality makes them more accessible, frequent, and part of daily life. Life ceases to feel like a movie onto which hypothetical pleasures are projected and instead becomes a tangible reality—one that includes pain but also small joys, such as breathing, chatting with a friend, or putting a partner to bed.
In sexuality, as in life, the Sexual 7 learns to embrace the pleasure of the present moment, rather than confusing it with the continuous anticipation of what comes next. He stops constantly imagining an even greater enjoyment just beyond his reach. This shift is a profound breakthrough—a significant gift for this subtype.
In relationships, the balance of erotic love teaches him to coexist with his partner, to recognize and respect both their boundaries and those of others. He learns to remain present without overwhelming, overtaking, or melting into the other, all while reducing his constant and neurotic need to be the center of attention.
The transformation of admiring love follows a similar process. Accepting pain as it comes, along with the pleasure of resting in the reality of life—daily routines, shared meals, the needs of a partner and children—helps him recalibrate his enormous expectations of himself and others. Genuine admiration arises when these grandiose expectations diminish. As he feels more normal and human, he also perceives his mentors as more human and approachable. In learning to become small, he reduces the size of his idols, who, in turn, become genuine teachers. Only then is he truly ready to receive their wisdom and undergo transformation.
If at any moment he believes he is worthy of the greatest teachers, pain will remind him that he has more to learn than anyone—especially from children, the ignorant, the poor, and the naïve, even from animals and the cycles of nature. His inner chaos, once settled, allows him to perceive an order in the world from which he had previously escaped.
Once again, the shrinking of the ego—brought about by his encounter with pain—reveals to him how he has mistaken true love for admiration rooted in expectation. The first person he must learn to genuinely admire, without expectation, is himself. This realization comes through the journey of the other two forms of love, particularly through compassion.
When, for the first time, he feels compassion for himself, he ceases to demand so much from both himself and others. It is in this moment that he can begin to trust in his own authority, abilities, and maturity, assuming the responsibilities he had historically delegated to others through childish mechanisms.
Only when he stops seeking a father figure and expecting—or demanding—care, encouragement, and support from others can he develop true, selfless admiration. This
admiration stems from recognizing his real dimension, which is infinitely smaller than he once believed. The more he discovers the small, the more he realizes that the world is full of guides, teachers, and role models.