Love

From the perspective of Claudio Naranjo's theory of the three loves, amor ágape or compassionate love is the most developed in E9, although the social subtype has greater access to admiring love. Due to their confluence, they can put themselves in the place of

others and are often considered empathetic, maternal, and generous, pouring their great flow of energy into caring for and serving others.

They learned in childhood to give care instead of receiving it, and as adults, they continue to develop a caregiver or helpful worker role, devoting a lot of time to the affairs of others—whether in the family, relationships, friendships, or work. The problem, as Claudio Naranjo states, is that they love their neighbors more than themselves. Those of this subtype, who consider themselves loving in their care for others, struggle to see that, despite their good intentions, they are not truly present in their gestures of love. They remain attached to an idea of love rather than experiencing it authentically.

Consequently, their kindness can become an automated cycle of constant giving, a delivery to others that excludes themselves. The more they forget themselves, the more they tend to persist as good providers of "chicken soup," without considering that true compassion and relational benefit may come from being clear, expressing their thoughts, or defending their needs—even at the risk of confrontation. They also fail to acknowledge their responsibility for the one-sided relationships they create. Many eventually realize they have enslaved themselves to a pattern where they are always the givers, making it difficult to sustain.

Additionally, their attentions are not always appropriate or well-received. They may be too disconnected to notice that what they offer is not wanted by the other person. Their generosity can sometimes be excessive, counterproductive, uncomfortable, or inappropriate, which can be considered a distinctive tendency of this subtype.

"When I walked into a store, I was always looking for something to give to someone. I realize now that people's reactions didn't always match my expectations. I think, in many cases, it would have been enough for me to simply feel my affection or gratitude instead of giving them things." (Anonymous)

The Least Developed Love: Eros

As a counterpoint, it is evident that the least developed love in Social 9 is eros (romantic or passionate love). From an early age, they had to repress their instincts and lost their spontaneity. They do not feel free to love themselves, as their inner child and capacity for enjoyment have been forgotten. There is great potential for enjoyment in simple activities, such as socializing in good company, walking in nature, or dancing, but these are often carried out disconnected from the body, as their attention is focused on others or on what "must be done." Pleasure is postponed because there is always something or someone to

attend to. Enjoyment is placed after obligations, but that moment rarely comes, or they are too drained to indulge in self-care.

Some individuals of this subtype may appear playful and engage in pseudo-spontaneity or half-hearted freedom in social or sexual relationships. However, these interactions often aim to please others rather than include themselves fully. For Social 9s, enjoying oneself feels selfish, and selfishness is a taboo. Prioritizing their own pleasure requires effort, which can turn enjoyment into just another task, stripping it of meaning.

Misguided beliefs that "it is wrong to be selfish" and that one "must sacrifice oneself" interfere with the joyous love of Social 9. Overdeveloped maternal love exacerbates this problem, as their emphasis on giving leaves no room for receiving. In erotic love, the tendency to prioritize their partner's pleasure over their own often prevails, leading to difficulties in setting boundaries early in their sexual experiences. This has caused many to lose self-respect and, simultaneously, to limit their potential for personal enjoyment.

"The love that interferes is motherly love. My gaze is always directed outward. I always look at the other, trying to figure out how they feel, what I have to do to take care of them, etc. This clearly shows my forgetfulness of myself." (Anonymous)

"I have always considered myself very loving, but I have been so out of touch with my own feelings that I realize what I have given has been a very poor emotion. Especially poor because it never occurred to me that I could love myself." (Susan)

Admiring Love and Its Pitfalls

If compassionate love is overdeveloped and joyous love underdeveloped, respectful or admiring love may appear more balanced at first glance. Social 9s, who struggle to see themselves, find it easy to see others as superior. However, their admiration is often based on timid values, leading to a pseudo-respect.

Children who did not feel seen and who received contemptuous looks from their parents—especially from the mother toward the father, as well as toward themselves—often have their innate intuition of the divine stifled. Until they experience love and divinity within and outside of themselves, they tend to settle for a banal view of life. Their focus remains limited to the concrete and the mundane. They avoid deep questions and prioritize practical solutions. The transcendent is dismissed as a waste of

time or postponed indefinitely due to their constant busyness. This can lead them to mimic devotion without fully experiencing it.

This unconscious disenchantment drives them to replace divine experience with ideologies or social group values, making these their ultimate authority. They trust more in collective values than in the mystery of the divine, which Claudio Naranjo describes as negative transference with God.

"When I was five years old, I found out that people die, and I cried in helplessness. I felt betrayed and angry with God because I had been told He was good. I thought He was unfair, and that if I were God, I would do things better." (Susan)

The Search for Recognition and the Need for Self-Love

In their "sale of love," Social 9s seek to "buy" love through maternal care, as caritas (charitable love) is their most accessible form of expression. They nurture and provide comfort to others in hopes of being loved in return. What they truly seek is recognition and validation: "They will love me for the value of what I do for them." Their ultimate reward is to be seen. However, they live in a contradiction, as they crave recognition while prohibiting themselves from standing out.

"I don't really buy or sell love. The concept of love feels too grand for me. I don't think I truly give love. It's hard for me to know what it means to genuinely love others and to receive love in return. I give, I give, I give, but what the hell! I don't give my love; I give service and help, while my emotions remain outside." (Raquel)

From the perspective of integrating the three loves, it is difficult to admire what one does not know or what has been forgotten. Without recognizing their own divinity, Social 9s cannot fully appreciate the divinity in others, nor can they allow themselves the freedom to enjoy their own being. This lack of a felt experience of love generates mistrust that affects their relationships.

"In my relationships, I lack confidence that love will be reciprocated without conditions that are unacceptable to me. I'm afraid of being taken over and ending up exhausted and dependent." (Joyce)

From a spiritual perspective, it is difficult for the complacent to connect with the mystery if they have not reconciled with it. Without self-reflection, they cannot recognize the mystery within themselves. That is why it is crucial for E9s to begin loving themselves, developing their inner witness, and cultivating a filial love that allows them to "befriend themselves."