Enneatype 3 – Vanity

The Passion of Vanity is the need to falsify one's own self, building a presentable personal image for the world, with the expectation that it will be accepted, loved and confirmed.

We could say that the Vanity character represents the neurotic construction of that part of humanity that is forced to manipulate itself to maintain the affective relationship (Winnicott's false self).

This passion leads E3 to transfer its energy load to a functional action, to the expectations of the external world; develops a considerable capacity to perceive what the context demands, and adapts to it. The manipulation of oneself as a "product for sale" manifests itself in the aesthetic plane as well as in that of operational efficiency; thus the illusion is forged that this transformation can be identified with itself. This strategy involves a disconnection from one's own emotions and needs; he is immersed in this exhausting activity to such an extent that he comes to adapt his thoughts and actions to those of the other; he identifies with that which he has falsified, believing in his false image (fixation) and losing all connection with his inner truth.

In order to capture the gaze of the other, it unites the ability to transform itself to be attractive on the sexual plane, but its seduction is directed more to respond to the pleasure of the other than to the satisfaction of one's own pleasure.

The passion for building an acceptable image of oneself underlies the escape of everything that is not defined or concrete. Therefore, uncertainty, unfinished situations, mystery, waiting and indefinition become a cause for anguish; every shadow is perceived as destructive of the constructed image.

During childhood he learned to be a pleasant, smiling and accommodating child to respond to the expectations of a mother who in most cases is demanding and cold, and who tends to project on the child the expectations of his own narcissistic satisfaction. Whether it is concerned with the father or the mother, people with character three say that they have felt like a beautiful object to present to the world, as an extension of the parents.

In relationships they show hyper-adaptation and fear of conflict; in their eagerness to do they separate themselves from their inner world and also from the inner world of the other.