Interpersonal Strategy and Associated Irrational Ideas

In the Social 1s we studied, we observed a clear differentiation in certain directions more than in others. While all maintain the basic organizational core of this personality, each of the interviewees is characterized more by some traits than by others, which also creates marked differences between the subtypes themselves. In the social subtype, obsessive-compulsive traits are particularly evident, resembling the Freudian oral character or what personality theories refer to as obsessive-compulsive.

The fixation — that is, the fixed core of ideas and thoughts that are distorted and generalized interpretations of reality, with an irrational component — manifests in E1s as perfectionism, which becomes the goal for which the world and the relationships surrounding it are shaped. When a child forms irrational ideas, these become the foundation of their subsequent view of life and the world, and a cognitive core is organized that remains fixed: who we are in the area of character structure and content. In the life of a Social 1, even things that might seem more trivial and less important are not left to chance. Everything is governed by "objective" criteria, applied with manic and obsessive care. In the home of a Social 1, every object responds to a logical choice: plates and dishes, for example, are stacked and placed in their respective cupboards and drawers, knowing that all must be used the same number of times, although some among them no longer respond to their aesthetic taste. They firmly believe that it is a merit to use an object until it is useless because this implies having used the thing correctly, without waste. Living without lacking the essentials but with minimal consumption and never wasting anything is the ideal condition for the Social 1, who thus feels that they are fulfilling their duty to use the resources available to them correctly. An example of this is Ingvar Kamprad (Social 1), the founder of the multinational IKEA, who specialized magazines refer to as one of the richest men in the world. Kamprad stated in a 2006 interview that he drives a 15-year-old car, flies in economy class, and encourages IKEA employees to always write on both sides of a sheet of paper. As a small detail, here's an example of this character's authoritarian drive: he was an active Nazi and a member of the SS in his youth, although decades later, he apologized for this.

Perfectionism, therefore, becomes primarily a method of doing everything in the best possible way. It must be considered that doing things perfectly and not making mistakes are needs of the Social 1 that help them avoid that shudder, the heartache related to the fear of rejection and failure that occurs when someone doesn't do their task completely well.

Every choice, from purchasing an important item (such as a house or car) to a mundane everyday object (such as a pair of shoes or a dress), is made with the intention that it will be "forever." In fact, how could the perfect thing that someone decided to buy, after a long and careful phase of study, be surpassed by something more perfect? If what was chosen is perfect, how could there be something more perfect than perfect in the future? And the "perfect" thing that was bought will be used and maintained with great care by the social subtype, in order to preserve it over time, until after many years, and despite itself, it is no longer possible to use it. When that day comes, it will not be uncommon for them to go, perhaps to the same store where they bought it (while it still exists), to try to buy it again, identical, to the astonishment and hilarity of the shopkeeper.

Perfectionism, however, far from being a mere personal choice, also becomes a method imposed on others, since it is not enough for the E1 to be the only one who does things according to their perfection criteria. For the social subtype, others must also be as perfect as they are, as they strive daily to be so. Therefore, they dedicate themselves to initiating actions aimed at improving the way others do things. Of course, if others are not perfect—or fail to be—he will never experience the guilt and shame that he could feel if he himself were "caught" in error, but the feeling of inner anger due to the other’s inability to achieve perfection is assured.

The Social 1 is distinguished by their intense internal monologue, in which they constantly weigh the validity of their own beliefs, thoughts, and plans of action. Since they consider themselves the standard by which the truth and correctness of all their initiatives are measured, the Social 1 compares their value system—which they consider the only correct and legitimate one—to evaluate whether and how they should act in life.

The social subtype tends to select a small number of people with whom they are willing to confront. When they identify someone willing to contradict them on any type of reflection, thought, or doubt, they will hardly consider that person a source of wisdom, but rather as a subject with whom they can relate on an equal basis and compare their own ideas. In other words, it is very difficult for them to admire others' ideas and let go of their sense of superiority. This constant comparison allows them to assess whether they could benefit from overcoming their stagnation, doubt, or indecision. In these moments, the social subtype experiences a kind of "dizzying" pleasure in responsibility, an elitist feeling that results from the ability to discuss the fundamental mechanisms of reality.

This subtype tends to admire, recognize, and feel gratitude for the mentors they have had in their lives, for the teachings they received and continue to receive, although it is difficult for them to feel like an "obedient disciple." They do not relinquish seeing the authority they admire as equal to them, eliminating any feeling that the other may be superior to them. They enjoy receiving admiration from others, and they must recognize value in them. They tend to cultivate admiration from others for a long time and want to be recognized for their intellectual appearance and skills.

The need for confrontation, the need to be in the "control room," characterizes the Social 1 from childhood, so this subtype is often considered a difficult subject to confront by those who have some form of pressure over them. Educational responsibility. The father, teacher, or educator will feel systematically challenged by the Social 1 child, as they feel compelled to understand everything around them—and also what is not around them, including what they learn from textbooks—as if this were an inalienable responsibility.

However, soon this thirst for confrontation, aimed at greater understanding and perfecting their own ideas and hypotheses, will be systematically frustrated by the high self-demands they suffer from, because perfectionism is a neurotic motivation and not a real goal to be achieved. What gives it meaning is the continuous pursuit of feeling perfect with the distorted belief that there is a chronic lack of valid interlocutors with whom to sustain the desired confrontation. The Social 1 becomes autonomous because they learn that the answers to their thousand questions will not come from the "elders," but that they must give them to themselves: only if they come from within will they feel validated, that they have power. If they accepted the opinions of others, their self-image would suffer a painful decline that they cannot allow.

From a very young age, the Social 1 asks many questions to understand this or that, and usually discovers that their feelings, desires, and thoughts receive no attention or listening—they don’t count for those who represent authority. They must obey without questioning, accept teachers and parental figures through passive listening, which does not allow for questioning. Through this process, they come to identify with such authorities, becoming, over the years, an authority that also does not allow space for others.

They also seek forms of "autonomy," a "do-it-yourself" mentality, and learn not to ask for or seek help, but above all, not to bother anyone. They have a great curiosity and a need to learn. Their autonomy is forced, as they believe that others do not want to give them what they need, and because of this, they feel useless and lost. Their shyness, which actually hides a deep insecurity, predominates in the presence of authoritative figures: the anxiety of not living up to demands takes over, an anxiety they try to resolve by dedicating themselves to correcting themselves, others, and the world, often in a cruel manner.

With others, in general, their reactions can be conflicting with the aim of being right, of imposing their reasons; they can also be strongly argumentative or exhibit a passivity that hides repressed anger. Being right, in their irrational mind, gives them value, empowers them, and that is why they have so much at stake in having their authority recognized. Others may begin to perceive them as stubborn, disdainful, and with an air of superiority and arrogance.

The crazy idea, in Claudio Naranjo's conception, belongs to the cognitive core of the self. We find ourselves in the realm of thoughts developed in early childhood that become fixed in time and accompany us through the different events in life. One possible explanation is the connection that the young child establishes between the unsatisfactory or limiting experiences they encounter in the family environment and the attempt to explain them. Being able to understand "the reasons" for what they are experiencing reduces the suffering caused by the deficiencies and limitations they face. Creatively, the child develops ideas that tend to provide an explanation for what is happening, obviously conditioned by a perspective that is the result of an underdeveloped mind. Eric Berne calls this process “the little master”.

To strengthen their thoughts, the child uses mechanisms of generalization and grandiosity, which are then fixed in beliefs about themselves, others, and life, beliefs that will form the cognitive foundation of their life orientation and, therefore, their character. In the specific case of the Social 1, it is based on the idea that "only if I am perfect will I be loved and recognized," depending on whether the limiting experience occurs at a deeper or lower emotional level, meaning whether it manifests during stages of development in which the child demands more parental presence, more emotional intimacy, or more recognition of their value. For example, a child who does not feel adequately fed and suffers physically and emotionally cannot explain why they are not fed enough or cared for enough, and with their still underdeveloped rationality, they begin to formulate poorly defined thoughts—"I’m not worth it," "I’m a nuisance," and many others—and these are produced by a negative view of themselves, which, as they develop and take shape, lead to cognitive compensation: “If I want to be loved and recognized, I must be perfect.” From there, the E1 begins to organize behaviors and reactions that seek perfection. The pursuit of perfection implies a demand on oneself and others that imposes continuous effort and requires things to go well to the point of becoming obsessed and not allowing any time for themselves, renouncing all rest in favor of actions they believe are important, that fill their life. In practice, they renounce the spontaneity and freedom of the natural child in favor of the conquest of merit and recognition. This perfectionistic pretense can keep alive, albeit repressed, a generalized anger against the imperfect reality, making it easier not to give space to the vulnerabilities and weaknesses that take a back seat.

Crazy ideas, as defined by Claudio Naranjo, are cognitive interpretations of experiences that derive from the distorted core of fixation, in this case, perfectionism.

A common crazy idea is the belief that you will only love someone if you are perfect. The child belonging to the Social 1 seems to find confirmation in the high expectations their parents have placed on them. To be loved is to be accepted in the family, at school, in friendships, and at work. Mistakes, shortcomings, or not having given everything implies confronting the anxiety of being unmasked, of discovering that, deep down, someone is worthless, with the fear of being a "fraud" that has haunted them since childhood. Being caught in a mistake is equivalent to being condemned without appeal and permanently and irreparably distanced from society: forgiveness and redemption are not considered possibilities. It’s as if there were only one opportunity in life, and once it’s taken, no recourse is possible. It’s a very unpleasant feeling that can produce immediate physical effects, such as tingling in the calf muscles or a general sensation of cold.

To avoid this chilling emotion, it’s necessary to play with anticipation, study a strategy to prevent the problem, create a system to support them. Thus, the Social 1 begins to learn to be perfect, untouchable, and effective in everything they undertake. Over their life, they will also develop an appreciable skill in dialectics. Diverting blame from themselves with words becomes an art so perfected over time that it’s effective even with those who simply want to test it. The Social 1 is convinced that they are reliable, correct, and responsible, and is aware of always being meticulously prepared to not be tested, which makes it intolerable for them when someone doubts them or questions their preparedness.

The discomfort of having to suffer a fate they perceive as unjust can reach the point where they decide to reverse roles and challenge those who are judging, evaluating, or avoiding them, to catch them in the act of their weaknesses or incapacity. Then, a teacher, a parent, a boss, or even an employee becomes the target of the Social 1's tacit anger, who, while always expressing themselves in an acceptable and socially composed manner, begins to make life miserable for those who find themselves in a long-term relationship with them and put them to the test. This crazy belief of the Social 1 prevents them from experiencing affection, appreciation, and support they receive when they finally show that they are "human".

Other crazy ideas that are quite common in the Social 1 include:

"Pay more, and you will be recognized."

"If you don’t do this, no one will."

The feeling of being perfect involves a continuous desire to improve, a search for recognition that is never enough. Therefore, even when it’s granted, they devalue it,

believing they received it by chance, not because they wanted it given to them or because they deserved it. Moreover, they are convinced that this experience won’t repeat because they won’t be able to repeat those actions that, purely by chance, favored them. Thus, they restart with new commitments in a continuous effort to do more, to achieve full satisfaction, and to maintain it always active, alert, in search of improvement. On the other hand, it creates an obsession that generates suffering:

"Others are more capable; they’ve done more and will do more."