Passion From the Perspective of Cold Anger

In the following testimony, Marisa Portanova and Fernando Gómez describe themselves schematically through the following questions: how cold anger manifests, what motivates maladjustability, and what need it satisfies.

• In my childhood, I didn’t feel like anyone took care of me. I felt I had to block my emotions and bodily sensations to become strong by being rigid. Screaming and emotions were dismissed. I felt that only rigidity and anger could sustain me. I felt rejected by my father, which I interpreted as meaning I didn’t deserve life. The solution I found was to become a good and “elevated” girl compared to others. I adapted to my family’s values and later to those of the school. I adapted to the adult world by disconnecting from my childhood world.

Thus, this persona assumes a moralistic attitude and pursues justice. We are people who feel the need to continually strive to improve ourselves and others. We are never satisfied with the level we achieve. This generates anger toward ourselves and others (we are never good enough). Our cold anger allows us to maintain the position of being “right” and, therefore, “above” others, as if we were examples to be followed.

We may be in relationships with those who fit into them and reject those who do not meet our standards (blaming them for the relationship's failure). Our ideals become tools of power with which we control ourselves and others under the guise of benevolence and help.

MARISA PORTANOVA

If I review some of the episodes in which I perceive the force of anger, initially as anger over disagreement, over facing something I do not approve of, and see how it transforms into a wildfire—often in fractions of a second—it seems to be a "leftover" energy that cannot be channeled into reality at the time and place of the event. Feeling internally powerless to change the course of events and projecting this onto the ignorance, laziness, or stubbornness of others, I would say it opens the tap through which overflows an energy whose proper channeling feels frustrated.

As I later realized, my distrust also turned against my own spontaneity, in which I saw the source of many "mistakes," the trigger for situations over which I lost control. Thus, I became a strict overseer of my own actions and words. Sometimes, this "teacher" attitude was more akin to that of a Protestant pastor…

FERNANDO GÓMEZ

In the Social 1, anger emerges as an intriguing and complex facet. Its origin, motivations, and satisfactions reveal a network of experiences and needs that shape how the E1 interacts with the surrounding world. On this journey, we will explore how this anger arises, what motivates it, and what needs it seeks to fulfill.

The seed of anger germinates when the E1’s attention and care are disproportionately focused on others, often to the detriment of their own aspirations and desires. Painful rejection by the mother, father, or another authority figure can be a triggering factor, as in the face of such rejection, the E1 develops a deeply rooted belief that they must "earn" their place in the world by submitting, in a symbiotic adherence, to imposed values and expectations.

To survive in a complex environment, the Social 1 develops great mental strength, blocking emotions and the body to construct a rigid structure. Rigidity becomes a refuge, and anger becomes the force that sustains this structure, providing the energy needed to survive and fight for space. However, its expression remains contained, relegated to the edges of silent thoughts.

Focusing on maintaining the appearance of a “good boy” and standing out from others, the Social 1 clings to the conviction that their way of feeling and acting is intrinsically virtuous. Adapted to the values instilled by family and school, they quickly distance themselves from the world of childhood and form an identity shaped by adult influences.

The anal character, characteristic of cold anger, manifests in the difficulty E1 experiences in expressing it openly. Emotionally blocked, they turn to the mental realm, replacing outbursts of rage with an attitude of cold disdain. This peculiar way of channeling anger seeks to fully live out the values introjected into the self, giving them a sense of morality and justice. The Social 1 tirelessly strives for constant improvement, both in themselves and in others, and never feels satisfied with the level achieved. They demand relentless effort that allows no concessions.

Ultimately, anger, originating from the needs of others, finds its drive in the construction of a rigid structure and is expressed through significant mental restraint. It satisfies the need to live by the values this character has internalized, instilling a continuous pursuit of self-improvement and justice in their interactions with the world. Within the complexity of this type, we find the struggle for a place in a context where personal needs and aspirations have been relegated. By exploring the depths of this unique emotionality, E1 discovers how anger intertwines with their experiences and shapes their perspective on life.

However, this anger finds its expression in the silence of thoughts. We cling to the idealized image and compare ourselves to others to validate our own worth. Adapting to the values instilled by family and society gives us a sense of belonging and security in an adult world that seems far removed from the innocence and freedom of childhood.

In summary, the cold anger of Social 1s is a response to the lack of attention to their own needs. Locked within the mind and masked by an appearance of righteousness, it seeks to satisfy the need to live according to their values and achieve a perfection that constantly eludes them. By understanding the complexity of this anger, E1 can begin to unravel its constraints and explore healthier ways to channel their emotions and meet their needs in a more balanced manner.