Emotional and Fantasy

In today's characterological literature, E2 is known as a histrionic character due to their ability to produce emotions. The Self-Preservation 2 generates childlike tenderness to seduce someone they perceive as the love of their life. They need to fantasize about an eternal romantic love, very similarly to the Sexual E3, with the difference being that while the Sexual 2 adapts to be the ideal woman for the other, the proud person of this subtype fantasizes that the other is exactly as they want and need them to be.

Although they may seem cold and controlled compared to the Sexual 2, they make emotionality and fantasy their main defense mechanisms.

"I’ve never considered myself very emotional, more like I’ve always been cold and controlled. I started understanding my emotionality after years of therapy. Emotionality is an exaggeration of sensitivity to emotions, causing you to lose yourself and no longer distinguish anything except emotion. In this state, you don’t think, or if you do, it’s about something that further increases the emotion you’re feeling." — Anonymous

Loss of Clarity

Many times I find myself overwhelmed by sadness. It starts with a feeling of loneliness, and then I have thoughts like, "No one loves me," "I’m alone," "No one is coming for me..." and the sadness increases to the point where I lose myself. Everything is sadness. It’s huge, a bottomless pit.

But the same happens with happiness. Something good happens, I feel happy, and the process starts: "Life is wonderful," "I’m amazing..." And before I realize it, it’s happiness squared and euphoria.

Emotional Exaggeration

The most characteristic thing about emotionality is, as this woman observes, that by exaggerating so much, one loses themselves and can no longer think clearly (to some degree, they can’t think of anything), and they no longer feel their body. Everything becomes emotion.

The crux of the issue is that this character either exaggerates what they feel or doesn't feel anything in order to keep everything under control. There is no middle ground. In a confrontation, when trying to find arguments to defend their actions, they feel that their attempt is futile. The other has better arguments, stronger ones. They can’t find a reason or express it. Suddenly, they connect with impotence, energy rises, and it becomes harder and harder to express themselves verbally. That’s when the theatrics begin, the emotionality. They start a sequence of exaggerated gestures accompanied by screams; the internal sensation is one of death. They say things without respect, insult, and threaten. From the outside, it’s like committing a crime. They end up crying in despair and sometimes abandoning the situation.

The Emotional Labyrinth

One could say that a Self-Preservation 2 is “all heart,” although there is a mental labyrinth where we get lost, and from which it’s difficult to extract a clear message about our feelings, needs, and desires.

"I speak from 'I feel...' rather than 'I think...' My inner world is rich in emotions, like sadness, sudden joy, anger... I can start crying inconsolably without really knowing why. The emotion just comes, and it must be released. Many times, after a big crying session, I’ve had nervous

laughter to release the tension." — Vanesa Luna

The Child's Emotional World

As we’ve already discussed, the emotional world of the child couldn’t find an authentic form of expression. Generally, the mother of the Self-Preservation 2 occupied a lot of space with her emotionality, being either depressed or histrionic. The child learned that through emotions, they could manipulate the emotional world of the other.

With tears of sadness, they could stop aggression or unsustainable demands. With melancholy, they could seduce or ensure the other wouldn't leave. With panic attacks, they could hide the deep fear of life. And with great emotional outbursts, they could avoid confronting problems or failures.

Thus, the Self-Preservation 2 expresses an entire hysterical emotional world that completely covers the pain of loneliness, the wound of abandonment, and the lack of love. Deep wounds are denied with a confused and invasive emotional attitude, and if it’s about the fear of rejection and abandonment, a gesture of proud superiority freezes everything. This gesture responds to the mandate of not growing up but doesn’t allow feeling the child’s authentic fears while showing their greatness in not needing anyone.

Shame and Humiliation

As we’ve elaborated on, shame is an emotion that the Self-Preservation 2 feels often and hides. It’s not easy for them to connect with humiliation because it’s a childhood wound received from the very parent who once flattered or seduced them. Often, it was an unexpected and shocking reality, experienced as a betrayal and a revelation of their intimacy. It was as though the parent had lured them into a trap and left them alone. The memory of feeling “naked” and ridiculed remains vivid, and there’s much energy invested in never going back to that experience.

Anger Is Not Allowed

Anger is also not permitted because it would be an attack on the parents or the acknowledgment that they are not the cheerful, sunny child they wanted. The direct

expression of anger is a taboo and is resolved either by avoidance or tantrums, and in extreme cases, by deep depression.

Physical Manifestations of Emotional Disconnect

Often, the only possibility of escape is to disconnect and confine emotions to the body; asthma, allergies, muscle pain, or gastrointestinal problems are not uncommon.

Finally, this highly emotional character finds it very hard to “feel.” They are imprisoned by the obligation to give away joy and good humor without asking themselves deeply if they are truly happy.

Escaping into Fantasy

It’s true that there is a creative fantasy, a fantasy that is not defensive, but this character is an expert in using this ability to escape, to create something different from what is. The reality is never as good and wonderful as what they can imagine, and they want to return to that fantasy as soon as possible. They undervalue reality because they compare it with their imagined life.

For example, they imagine a handsome, intelligent, rich, kind, and wonderful man. It’s clear that this man does not exist in reality; the conclusion is that no man measures up. Fantasy also enhances their overvaluation of themselves. In it, they believe they are capable of countless things that they’ve only imagined but never accomplished. Action is lacking.

Adolescence and the Fantasy World

In adolescence, since they didn’t dare to approach the boys they liked, they would imagine boyfriends instead. They didn’t have them in reality, only in their imagination. Their first boyfriend came at eighteen, practically pushed by their mother.

— Anonymous

Escaping from Reality

As a child, they lived intensely in fantasy. Life always seemed dull compared to what they could imagine. They developed an escape into fantasy because they couldn’t express

themselves and didn’t dare to do certain things. In fantasy, they could feel free. It was also an antidote to feeling alone or not having anyone to play with: they invented imaginary friends, but in social life, they were shy and had few friends. They also find fantasy in their search for a way not to sink. The great misfortune of fantasy is that it doesn’t allow them to feel how bad they truly are. It’s much like an addiction.

Romantic fantasies, of being desired, of the other not being able to stop seeking them, providing for them, of being their great love, their light, their inspiration. — Anonymous

Avoiding Responsibility

What’s most striking about this stance is seeing how far they can go to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. Compared to the other proud subtypes, who insist on seducing through action—either to groups (the social) or individuals (the sexual)—to win affection and admiration, the Self-Preservation 2 seems the least active in seduction, which is mostly restricted to fantasy.

In their imagination, like the other E2s, they appear helpful, admired, and generous. Fantasy is their great resource for inflating the ego with a sense of self-importance to cope with the frustration of feeling incapable and inept in taking concrete action in the world.

The rich inner world of a Self-Preservation 2 overflows with the capacity for fantasy; our imagination knows no limits. Many E2s are linked to the esoteric world and spirituality, using it as a way to expand their imagination and satisfy the need to connect with God or something greater, at least not governed by the prevailing rational norms.

Vanesa Luna's Testimony

Since I was little, I’ve had a parallel imaginary world. I played alone, imagining I was a secret police officer and different from the other kids. I was on an undercover mission at school to capture someone from the FBI... I was "someone special." One day my prince charming would come to pick me up from school in a fancy car that could fit all the kids in the class, and they would marvel at my luck. I imagined it with such strength that it simply felt real. This would happen one day... I talked to God and even to the Devil, making my own deals so that what I wanted would happen... or so something terrible wouldn’t happen.

Insecurity and Fantasy

The person with this character feels insecure about their capabilities. They hold on to the painful memory of failure and recurring humiliation due to their weakness, which is why they prefer not to take risks, and instead turn to fantasy. Their energy for action is contaminated by the fear that whatever they do won’t be enough to be admired. This is where they differ from the other subtypes, who are more proactive in romantic seduction. They care about qualifications and success, but it’s enough for them to simply fantasize to inflate their ego.

Vanesa Luna's Testimony

I exaggerated or minimized things excessively. For example, a glance from someone could stay with me for years, imagining that the person was in love with me due to the way they looked at me... There was a lot of shame in clarifying the situation, or at least my own desires and feelings, and taking responsibility for them. Thus, that glance turned into the mechanism that made me feel beautiful, special—someone who, from afar, could make someone fall in love.

And just as a small thing could be exaggerated in a supernatural way, the same happened when I shrank myself: I let insecurity overwhelm every thought and emotion. Simply imagining that, by a gesture or a distant look (or one I imagined was distant...), I was not liked or criticized... This hurt me enormously, to the point where I felt very small and fragile... unworthy, rejected.

Fear and Childhood

Fear plays an important role. Many fears emerge in the social relationships of the person with this character: fear of being alone, fear of being ignored, fear of having no one in their life, fear of being discovered as incapable, fear of not being able to handle a situation, fear of being attacked, fear of not being able to sustain themselves if they are alone, fear of losing the support of loved ones, fear of seeing themselves as horrible with defects and failures, fear of being trapped in a situation where they cannot live their pleasures, fear of losing their special place with the other. Fear of getting angry and showing their anger, fear of confronting what is painful, fear of vulnerability, fear of their lies being discovered.