Passion In The Sphere Of Instinct: How Pride Works In The Sexual Subtype

When pride invades or parasitizes the sexual instinct sphere, the emphasis is focused on being irresistible, unforgettable. This sphere is not only about sexual relationships, understood as one of the deepest and potentially most pleasurable forms of intimacy for humans, but also about the I-you emotional relationship. In the case of pride, everything emotional is magnified, nurturing the sense of superiority. It is in this emotional bond with the other that the natural instinct for intimacy is most visibly distorted, directed toward the pleasure of the individual. We are dealing with the most seductive of characters, put at the service of gaining attention, love, dependence, and... “everything.”

Pride's passion in the sexual instinct manifests in a personality that is emotionally labile and superficial, seductive, and sexually provocative, often intoxicated by love, dazed, and prone to illogical thinking. With impulsive behaviors, their impetuous ways create social problems and turbulent relationships. It is histrionic and hypomanic, with a tendency to be charming and frivolous, capable of creating fantastic images that intrigue and seduce the innocent.

It is a character more common in women. Attractive and dangerous, it embodies the archetype of the vampire or femme fatale, feeding on the weaknesses of others and being an expert at opening up their appetite in an unparalleled way. It displays many narcissistic personality traits.

She is independent, though she puts a lot of energy into being perceived and recognized as a special person. It is precisely this desire that reveals a deep dependence on the other, which she wants to hide. This dependence leaves her trapped in relationships, resulting in not being free, despite efforts to appear wild and autonomous.

The origin lies in having been an erotically charged child in the primary relationship with her mother or father. She received confusing attention between affection and pleasure. E2 dimensions that are naturally linked in the child but, in the case of E2, this nature has been diverted toward eroticism due to a lack of clarity in physical and emotional contact with the parents. The child has thus learned that love passes through sexuality, and that provoking

pleasure in the other is a privileged channel for gaining attention and, ultimately, obtaining love.

In adulthood, this channel is exclusive, resulting in not knowing how to distinguish between natural sexual desire and the need for loving contact. The sexual instinct takes control and drives the person to become a slave to the need to be desired exclusively, often renouncing or not knowing how to give adequate space to other satisfactions, such as being cared for or fulfilling oneself in social or professional fields.

Sexual 2s have the ability to make others feel at ease: they are generous, indulgent, and flattering; but they can also be intolerant and contemptuous when their pride feels hurt. Hungry for intimacy and always oriented towards a sentimental relationship, they are passionate and pleasant as long as the relationship lasts. They are also highly sensitive, to the point of becoming enraged when they feel, in their pride, unreciprocated.

They possess a fascinating aura, often unconventional, which they use frequently in their intimate relationships. They seek excitement, fall "madly" in love, and easily form fleeting attachments to one person or thing after another. They are vigorous, effervescent, animated, usually humorous (though with variable humor), active, and impulsively expressive. Very lively in their gestures, but with touches of shyness that are more or less pronounced, and with a varied but not always decipherable mimicry due to their changing and ambivalent attitude.

They disregard promises and break contracts. Lacking internal structure and self-discipline, they succumb to the temptation of new and exciting stimuli.

Anonymous Testimony

"I want to be the best lover, the best friend, the most creative, the funniest... the most and the best. In return, I want them to give me everything. And EVERYTHING is everything! This is what makes me vibrate and gives meaning to my life. And the moment I feel like I’m not getting 'everything,' I start doubting the relationship: 'It’s not the same anymore... It’s not like before.' I feel hurt easily and distance myself. I blame the other person for not measuring up and I walk away, convinced that I’ll find other men who can give me what I deserve. In fact, I always have a secret agenda with potential candidates that I can turn to (use) to satisfy the image I have of myself."

The Sexual 2 bases its strong relational drive on the need to be loved by giving and giving, with the secret desire to become indispensable.

Anonymous Male Testimony

"I feel irresistible. Someone unique and charming who can make others his master forever, because they’ll never forget him. I no longer care about what's sensible, reasonable, logical, or forbidden... I turn everything into feeling, and protective barriers appear to keep me away from any pain. I can’t stand frustration, so potential rejection is avoided in preselection. Sometimes when I seek immediate satisfactions, they may come with a silly excuse or rejection. Then I get angry, I get cocky, puff out my chest, and feed aggressive strategies (of a man who does what he wants because he’s strong, confident, and sexy). It doesn’t last long, I immediately redirect myself toward other potentially pleasant alternatives, and those who said 'No,' I reply: 'We’ll see, sweetheart,' to free myself of them in my cherished feelings."

This strong need for admiration can extend to work, as described by a Sexual 2:

"I want to be 'the best' in my work too, and I go after an unattainable perfection that prevents me from meeting deadlines. For example, I have difficulty finishing reports because they can always be improved. Or there are body sessions with patients that I would always push them 'a little more,' and there’s no limit. It’s always just a little more and never enough. When I reach a level, I raise it again. I don’t like 'half measures.'"

The Sexual 2 gives meaning to their existence by manipulating others' needs, proudly inflating their ego, and hiding their dark desire for dependence. They commit to gaining love, but with cynical ego-flattering strategies.

Luis Hernández

"Pride was in feeling irresistible as a lover and as a partner. She could not have been better with anyone else but me, and if we broke up, I was convinced that my indelible mark would remain in her, grateful. I also considered myself an exemplary father, unlike my own father; I was above him."

In this way, they create the illusion of finding what they seek: love and admiration, adoring only those who adore them.

Although they are relationship-focused, the Sexual 2 has a strong and conflicting need for freedom and demands to feel independent and unattainable. Their desire for autonomy is, however, more apparent than real, as they depend heavily on the gratifications they receive. What they want is a pass to find the greatest gratifications from the maximum number of people possible. They even act differently with each person, justifying it with the many

facets they believe they possess: "With each one, I bring out a different side of me." This is why they prefer one-on-one relationships.

Here is a difference with E8, who is truly independent, to the point of not needing any consensus: feeling less emotional attachment, they believe they have every right to exercise their personal freedom and, as they don’t need external approval, they take that freedom without seductive theatrics.

We end with a long testimony from a male Sexual 2:

"Observing my behavior, I can describe the phases that make it up: With or without stimulation, when I feel the need for sex, I look for the option that can satisfy it in my environment. (My wife, if I’m in a relationship. If not, I check all the possibilities within reach.) Once I’ve used one of the preselected options, the satisfaction of having their attention cancels the need. Not because I’ve satisfied my sexuality, but because of the interaction. The contact activates my sexuality, not through the interaction. The contact sets in motion the mechanisms to dazzle, absorb their will, and provoke immense attraction, in order to awaken all their desires for me. The initial desire for sex gives way to the challenge: I will make you desire me. Once proven, with kisses, caresses, or other pre-libidinal manifestations, the pleasure my instinct requires becomes anesthetized. When conquest ends in sex, it is a fundamental principle to be the best lover. When the co-protagonist enters into her pleasure and enjoys through me, I’m able to be contagious (the sexual encounter being the icing on a cake I’m already eating before taking off my clothes by the bed)."