Transformation Process and Therapeutic Recommendations

In the therapeutic process, the therapist must be mindful of the Self-Preservation 3 patient’s tendency toward condescension and the “everything is fine” attitude, where they present themselves as the model patient and emphasize the therapeutic alliance.

The patient of this subtype will try to intuit the therapist’s preferences, likes, and dislikes, seeking to identify what interests them most. The goal is to adhere as effectively as possible to the therapist’s expectations in order to feel secure.

It’s important to bring this dynamic to light, working on the patient’s automatisms and the idealized image of the perfect patient they attempt to emulate in order to feel accepted. The E3 self-preservation, skilled in manipulation, may play into the therapist’s narcissism by positioning themselves as the “ideal patient,” which implies that the therapist must be the “best therapist.” This idealization can easily damage their own self-image.

The greatest difficulty for the Self-Preservation 3 patient is to open up and express emotions, particularly sadness through tears, which are seen as a dangerous weakness. Any aspect of the shadow that surfaces during therapy is perceived as a threatening blow to their narcissism.

Their tendency to avoid seeing what really matters often involves focusing on surface-level things, recounting facts in detail while overlooking the underlying process, dynamics, and symbolism. It is crucial for them to acknowledge their internal timing, experiencing

moments of pain and difficulty without rushing to find an immediate solution. This helps them realize they are not drowning in pain, and that the natural flow of life allows for a clearer perspective.

When faced with challenges, embracing a state of “being without doing” enables them to recognize the influence of control on their emotional flow. Physically, this manifests as contractions in the stomach, thorax, back, and throat, which are soon identified as the fear of losing control and feeling the pain.

It is fundamental to address their envy, competitiveness, and suppressed feelings of inferiority—key aspects that often drive neurotic behavior when the patient is unaware. These elements can serve as valuable resources for growth when brought into conscious awareness.

Facilitating the direct expression of anger and disagreement toward the therapist is also beneficial.

As the idealized image of themselves begins to shatter, like a mirror struck by a stone, the Self-Preservation 3 patient comes into contact with a deep pain and the fear of becoming “nothing,” a mere empty vessel. At this point, they realize they have portrayed a character all their life and no longer know who they are.

In the therapist, they seek a dependable presence that offers security, someone they can finally trust. Through this connection, they uncover their underlying needs and gradually, at their own pace, rediscover their human identity. It becomes crucial for them to regain permission to exist beyond external expectations, coupled with ample physical support and contact (affirmations such as “It’s okay to be yourself; you don’t need to do so much to be accepted”).

On the other hand, it’s vital to deconstruct their defense mechanism of self-justification and the habit of attributing responsibility to external factors, encouraging them to establish a deeper connection with themselves.

It is also advisable to inquire about their quick enthusiasm for activities, whether they are hobbies or work, and their tendency to easily lose interest or stagnate. This exploration helps uncover what sparks their passion and what might be holding them back.

Creating a psychologically “safe” environment is essential—ensuring the patient feels seen, welcomed, heard, and respected. At the beginning, strong confrontations are not recommended, as the E3 may withdraw. However, as the therapeutic journey progresses, there comes a point where they need to be challenged, not just gently affirmed. The following account illustrates this:

One of the most transformative experiences for me was encountering non-confluence, tough confrontations, and facing disillusionment with someone I looked up to as a teacher or spiritual guide. It was at that moment that I realized my healing depended solely on me, that I alone had the power to do this. The idea of expecting that there would always be someone to guide me unconditionally and kindly, like a father figure, was unrealistic. I understood that it’s impossible to make everyone happy, that the way I am will satisfy some but not others; that this is just the way it is, and it’s okay. I came to terms with how delusional my fantasy of wanting to please everyone was. (Ferran)

It is also healing for an Self-Preservation 3 man to rediscover his masculine energy. The potential for direct and clear confrontations, pursuing what he truly desires or needs (“conquering” the world), is immensely valuable. To achieve this, it’s vital for him to experience the support of another man, someone who serves as a reference point and with whom he can collaborate rather than compete. In short, it’s about regaining confidence in both the other person and his own identity.

This approach recognizes that the energetic and sensorimotor foundation of E3 is very similar to that of E8, though in the former, the energy has been castrated. This is why contact with men who confidently express masculinity, and even relationships with representatives of the lustful Enneatype, can help the conservationist reestablish contact, autonomy, and self-confidence.

In the transformation process, which traits of their subtype can prove beneficial for the Self-Preservation 3 therapist in their work?

As therapists, being aware of our neurotic defenses and understanding that what may seem like a quality on the surface is, in essence, a flaw—and vice versa—empowers us to utilize these traits therapeutically.

An Self-Preservation 3 therapist excels in providing security and containment to the patient, especially when operating authentically and in tune with themselves. This authenticity encourages others to embrace their own genuineness. Having self-awareness about their deceit enables the therapist to easily unveil the masks of others.

Moreover, the desire to “do it right,” when it’s no longer a neurotic necessity, allows the therapist to become keenly attuned to the impeccable nature of their presence and, consequently, their “therapeutic work.” A therapist of this subtype aims for nothing short of excellence.

Finally, the natural inclination to control can transform into a therapeutic presence with a comprehensive understanding of the process and the overall context. Here’s an illuminating insight:

“I find that I tap into the traits I consider positive in my personality, even if I see them as less prominent, like efficiency and swift action and thinking. I’ve also learned to wait for signals that confirm the validity of my intuition before taking action.” (Susana)

Recommended Tasks

This section outlines several therapeutic suggestions that can help advance the transformative process for the Self-Preservation subtype.

Agenda and Tasks

• Reduce the number of imposed tasks. • Reflect on what you really want to do or not do. • Incorporate “do-nothing” periods into your schedule. • Learn to say “no” when it’s not convenient to take on certain tasks. Be mindful of the compulsion to agree to any request, regardless of who it comes from. • Set real priorities; often, the never-ending agenda doesn’t align with what genuinely matters when evaluating your life. • Focus on one task at a time; prioritize some, give up on others. • Recognize that not everything you do requires utility or a practical purpose.

Indulging in Pleasure

• Pick a few activities solely for your own enjoyment and engage in them. • Do something pleasurable that’s “absolutely unnecessary.” • Prioritize self-care: be attuned to your needs, allocate more time for personal attention, reserve moments for leisure, treat your body well, avoid compulsive eating or drinking, slow down, breathe... • Participate in activities that require patience and attention to detail, like gardening, handicrafts, painting, etc. • Embrace the playful and the carefree; revel in the joy of life (the inner child’s erotic love). Adopt an attitude of “making it easy.” • Allow yourself to waste time.

• Re-educate the “inner child” by affirming its qualities (Antonio Blay’s technique of re-education of the unconscious).

Acknowledging Limitations, Cultivating Humility and Confidence

• Learn to ask for help. • Delegate tasks; allow others to do something (even if they “don’t do it as perfectly as you would”). • Laugh at yourself more. • Embrace an attitude of humility; recognize your pride. Work on your tendencies toward feeling omnipotent. • Talk about your needs and openly express them. • Seek body contact.

Relationships with Others

• Choose a few people you’re intimate with and make a point of talking about yourself rather than just listening and/or giving advice. • Respect others for who they are. • Give more from the heart; stop always looking for solutions in your head. • Acknowledge unspoken expectations in your most intimate relationships. • Be less critical of yourself and others. • Connect with individuals of E2, E7, and E8 Enneatypes, as they will be most useful in helping you break your rigid patterns. • Learn to say “I love you” despite feelings of embarrassment or fear of rejection. • Trust someone without reservations: “Putting my trust in a teacher [Claudio Naranjo] to guide me towards an easier path was the first step for me to break free from my patterns. I, who was always so independent, entrusted my life to another!” (Nilda) • Practice active listening. • Invite people over on the spur of the moment. Resist the urge to have the final say every time.

Being More Than Doing

• Avoid being always available and allow yourself to be useless: “One of the most difficult things is to understand and accept that any change in daily habits triggers an immediate, often negative response from those around you, because it means

you step back from always being available, and cease to anticipate others’ needs. In short, you stop being ‘irreplaceable.’ This leads to accepting that your value as a person, as a human being, isn’t solely defined by what you do for others. It’s also very challenging to cope with the feeling of uselessness, as if you had no defined role in the world. To endure that sensation without hastily filling it with some activity, no matter how trivial it may be, represents true work with yourself.” (Susana) • Embrace more being and less having. • Recognize that love is found in feeling, not just doing. • Reclaim the art of simply looking without feeling compelled to act. • Cultivate a sense of self-worth independent of external validation: “I exist even if they don’t look at me.”

Connecting with Yourself and Your Truth

• Meditate! Meditate and persist in this practice (The Self-Preservation 3 subtype can quickly get bored of meditation because they expect immediate results). • Incorporate meditation into your daily activities to slow down. • Body work: “Certainly, meditation, which teaches us not to do, and work engaging the body, a facet often overlooked, are crucial for the Self-Preservation 3 to find tranquility and wisdom. Many of us declare a difficulty with both touching and being touched. Each person overcomes it through specific therapeutic approaches. Touching and being touched imply trust—a quality we’re yet to develop.” (Nilda) • Endure and embrace moments of emptiness and loneliness. • Focus on your authentic qualities (energy, love, happiness, and intelligence) that aren’t a product of vanity or false modesty. • Recognize and accept your limits, feeling deserving of both giving and receiving. You don’t have to do anything to receive love. Learn to receive love simply for existing. • Explore prayer and asking in a straightforward manner without trying to be too polite. • Release negative emotions, your “lower self,” such as hatred, anger, resentment, and sadness. Let go of the façade of “everything is fine.” • Don’t try to always force a smile.

Security

• Shift away from hyper-stability: “I’ll handle the little things, and the rest is in God’s hands.”

• Let go of notions of permanence and control. • Learn to express discomfort directly, without dropping hints or using irony. • Dare to say what you’re thinking; allow yourself to use foul language and let that “son of a bitch” slip. Get in touch with anger and express it. • Work less and prioritize emotions more. •

Psychocorporal Work

• Alternate between intense and gentle work. The “strong” and “cathartic” aspects should release deep tensions and wounds. The gentle aspect aims to help you treat yourself more kindly, exploring the sensual, the tender, and contact without “practical goals.” • Engage in some form of “work,” “therapy,” or physical activity. A better alternative to sports is an Eastern discipline (yoga, kung fu, tai chi, aikido), emphasizing breath control and internal awareness. • Create spaces for spontaneous movement: authentic movement, dance therapy, dances; drawing (e.g., Anna Halprin); and recovery breaks, such as Gerda Boyesen’s winning moves (minimal movements), where awareness is created regarding the need for passivity in recovery. • Explore slow movements for the entire body and its parts through yoga, Feldenkrais, and eutonia. • Experiment with involuntary movements, vibration, and pulsation through approaches like vegetotherapy (Reich), bioenergetics (Lowen), energetic core (Pierrakos), and biodynamics (Boyesen). • Integrate breathwork, including invigorating practices (bio and energetic core), attention and exploration techniques like experiential breath (Ilse Middendorf), breathmoves by Juerg Roeffler (spontaneous movement from the breath), and various forms of yoga and meditation. • Activate the parasympathetic nervous system (reduce sympathetic activation). Work more towards balancing the two systems.