Passion In The Sphere Of Instinct: How Fear Works In The Self-Preservation Subtype

When fear contaminates the self-preservation instinct, passion takes the form of a constant concern for one's own survival. In this sense, the conserving E6, compared to the other two subtypes, is the one perceived as weak and fragile. Hence, their constant need to protect themselves in every way:

• From primary physical needs (cold/heat, hunger/thirst, sleep, tiredness, etc.). In fact, there is never a lack of “stocks” or protections of all kinds (from gloves to sunscreen, batteries, and insecticides). • From emotional disturbances (loneliness, abandonment, invasion, aggressiveness, excessive exposure, etc.). Their strategy is the “hit and run”; that is, being and not being in situations and relationships, as a way of modulating intensity and avoiding too many responsibilities and commitments.

Their conviction is that they lack the resources to face the unforeseen. In reality, they have had to face many situations alone, but the stress caused by an emergency is traumatizing, to the point that later they remember the anxiety experienced more than the achievement made. They find it difficult to act impulsively and need to take their time preparing for action. They suffer from anticipatory anxiety and display obsessive and sometimes paranoid thinking, ruminating on all the "traps" they could fall into.

Concern for survival occupies such a large part of their lives that they become convinced it is the most important thing.

There was probably an insecure emotional experience at the base, marked by instability and the threat of abandonment. The experience of primary attachment to the mother has not been a source of security. And there need not have been real episodes of abandonment or lack of maternal care. It is enough to not have felt emotionally contained enough, to not have been recognized in their own nature, or to have had the perception of an intermittent emotional presence, to develop the intolerable fear of abandonment. This fear becomes something they must protect themselves from with control over situations, others, and emotions, in order to make the world a predictable and, therefore, safer place.

The Self-Preservation 6 subtype learned to feed their fear by remaining in a state of permanent alert, which mitigates the feeling of emptiness and anguish in the absence of containment. Their passion for protection comes from having been blocked in their search for serenity, a serenity they never experienced, from the moment the child sought the mother’s gaze without ever being sure of finding it.

The feeling of danger is related to the excruciating fear of the disappearance of the mother, of being definitively abandoned, and running out of resources. This anxious and worried state inhibits any desire to move away and explore. Experiencing the new and the unknown means letting your guard down, relinquishing control over the other who might disappear. They seek to counteract this feeling by building a safe, calm, and routine life with someone stronger. But automatically, they stumble back on their basic distrust: the other is never completely reassuring, and control is never enough.

"I became a doctor. Many of the teachings of medicine I have been applying to myself to feel more secure. For example, I consider food in terms of quantity and balance between nutrients, and the chemical and bacteriological purity of food. When reviewing my first photos, I see a dislocated child, like an alien. I relate it to a feeling that sometimes assails me of feeling like a foreigner in this country in which I live now, despite having been here for more than forty-five years."

The self-preservation function is forced in this subtype by egoic interference. It is as if the person has become excessively meek, while in a healthy life, there is room for aggression and assertiveness.

Therefore, the strength necessary for survival is not expressed, and the person becomes weak and in need of protection. In childhood, there was a lack of a maternal function that would help them trust their natural impulses and the ability to ensure the satisfaction of basic needs. To the point of cutting off deep listening to their primary functions and totally delegating their need for support to the other (the mother). That is why the fear of abandonment becomes characteristic of Self-Preservation 6, which has developed autonomy and affective independence to a lesser extent than the social and sexual subtypes.

"I was born three months after my brother's death. My mother, sunk in a kind of depression, would not stop crying until she found in me the way to alleviate her sorrow. She gave me the same name as him and exerted an overwhelming overprotection over me from the first moment. Somewhat older, the only spontaneous manifestations of mine that she approved of were the intellectual ones, which she overestimated ('you will become a Nobel Prize winner'). The rest were repressed, so I became a kind of parlor intellectual, unable to lead an independent life. Always depending on someone else (first on a roommate, and then on the woman I married twenty-four years ago). The dependency was frustrating since, on the

one hand, it was necessary without my understanding the reason, but on the other, I needed to get it out of my mind, which led me to continuous conflicts: first with my mother, then with my roommate and, finally, with my wife."

This relentless search for protection occurs in a context of total dependency due to the feeling of permanent insecurity. Hence, the Self-Preservation 6 becomes submissive and suppresses their own criteria and interests. They seek to create a climate of non-aggression based on constant smiling and spend a lot of energy evaluating "who's who" on the chessboard.

Being prepared for any eventuality means they are always over-equipped, which hinders their flexibility when making decisions.

"I always worry about leaving the house well-protected: a cap against the sun's rays, sunscreen for my head (I'm bald), and enough warm clothing. Creams for the face, so that it does not spoil me. At night I wear a neckerchief, which protects my throat, and a dental splint to protect my teeth from grinding. I need to carry quite a few things in my bag that I might need and more, just in case. And when I can't find something, I get the paranoid idea that 'they took it from me.' And with the music that I use in my work, it is never enough; I seek to have all genres in large quantities."

The constant state of alert, expressed in "what can happen to me?", "what can they take away from me?", impoverishes the quality and quantity of relationships, generating mental confusion that leads them to take refuge in their interior, isolating themselves from the world.

Protection as Axis

When they feel deprived of protection, the Self-Preservation 6 can feel helpless and aimless, at the mercy of others' opinions and interests, to the point of self-aggression.

The act of making a decision, of choosing between two options, already implies an internal confrontation: one of the two will be rejected, and this in itself constitutes a loss of security. So, they postpone and become paralyzed in taking initiatives; from neglecting trivial things to avoiding their health or maintaining harmful relationships.

The search for protection at all costs generates an acute fear of rejection (as it would mean losing it). Hence, the Self-Preservation 6 always maintains the façade of the "good boy" or "good girl." They can also make an excessive offer of protection, which generates dependency relationships, choosing dependent partners who are in great need of comfort, thereby justifying their offer of security. Finally, they might find themselves in situations or

with people who, through their behavior, will keep them "permanently alert," feeding their perception that “the world is a dangerous place,” “I need protection,” and "I have a thousand reasons not to trust."

Control of Emotional Intensity and Conflict

A state of permanent anxiety and alertness, with the consequent difficulty in living in the now, always waiting for what’s to come: this is the emotional substrate of the Self-Preservation 6. As a result, they can't muster the energy level they might hope for. Most of the time, they oscillate between mundane and "acute" anxiety. Daily life becomes a background hum, with no engagement in the present moment, only anticipating what's to come in a few days. It's as if they need to hold resentment inside. Even in brief periods when the environment doesn't cause concern, after two or three days, they begin to fantasize about losing their passport, being late, missing a flight, work problems...

Work, above all, has “chosen” them many times as a breeding ground for anxiety. It continues what began with their school performance, wanting to be “the best in class” as a means of winning unattainable maternal affection.

What causes their job anxiety? It doesn't matter if they are a leader capable of the most difficult tasks; deep down, they don’t feel strong or recognize their own abilities. This feeling arises from early lack of recognition, as they weren't seen by their reference figure (often the mother).

Creative and Managerial Job in the Comics Industry

I have a creative and managerial job in the comics industry. Comics and their fantasy world, especially superheroes with their images of power and heroism, were a lifeline during my childhood: the space I created and lost myself in, where I could allow myself not to be afraid and decide the fate of the characters I created.

Finding an important and satisfying job in Torieta stories is a double-edged sword: being the continuation of a childhood fantasy of salvation, I often think that if I lost it, I would go crazy, die, disappear—my life would end. Maybe it's my deepest and most ingrained crazy idea.

Physical Anxiety

Anxiety is often felt physically: in the throat, chest, and stomach. It’s a feeling of suffocation, of discomfort. The Self-Preservation 6 is someone who is afraid of flying but flies all the time, and with every turbulence, even the slightest one, they break out in a cold sweat and feel like they’re dying. Sometimes, this subtle and subliminal anguish lasts for days or weeks, and then they begin to curse their own work, fantasizing about quitting. They calculate how much money they have saved and how many years they could live on it. Only when intense situations occur (events, meetings with many people) do they feel charged with energy, stifling the anxious instinct. But on "normal" days, it’s as if they’re in a tide where every phone call or email “ping” rises within them, whether it’s five seconds or five minutes.

Work Anxiety and Relationship with Their Mother

The underlying reasons for my work anxiety parallel my relationship with my mother. Both my relationship with my boss, a very distant and non-expressive person, and with my main partner of twenty years, who is always distrustful and ungrateful, evoke my relationship with my mother—who was not very expressive and didn’t see or perceive me. On top of that, she doesn’t like my job, which doesn’t help. It’s as if my mother had to give me permission to live, to exist.

Fear of Punishment, Guilt, Mistakes, and Standing Out

They feel trapped in the fear of punishment, guilt, making mistakes, and standing out—an eternal, diffuse fear. They are very afraid of unknown sensations; even pleasant ones tend to dilute. Anything that appears intense or moves a lot scares them, even if it attracts them. Many times, they are afraid of life itself, of feeling—this is a central theme for them. If things are not clear, they tend to say no.

Meditation and Childhood Fears

In my meditations, scenes of fear from my childhood resurface from time to time: things like the possibility of beings being around, especially at night when I’m alone. I always have to close everything properly, check the locks, and close the doors. The night has always been very "inhabited" for me, and nature, even more... I don’t know if the invisible or the real scares me more.

Many times, I feel like a little girl, asking that the night not attack me when I’m alone. This doesn’t happen when I sleep in a new place—on the first night, I have to look behind doors, inside closets, and under the bed. I do this even if I’m accompanied. If I don’t, I can’t relax.

Overcoming Fear and Containment

I tend to overcome fear and containment by tensing up and holding it in internally. As a child, my tendency was always not to disturb. I never complained about anything, nor did I demand anything. My mother always says I was like that since I was born—easy, not giving her trouble, always obedient and predictable.

Impressionable with the Negative

I am very "impressionable" with the negative: I can’t watch scary movies because the images remain "stuck" in my mind and return to me over and over, sometimes for years. The same happens when I feel guilty or sorry—those situations keep coming back.

Internal Authoritarian Accuser

I carry a constant authoritarian accuser within me. It's a part of me that hides a lot, and I fear it. I get irritated when people don’t respect rules and duties. I am very intolerant of unimportant things internally, but I control myself and don't "snap." When I do finally express it, I do so more abruptly than I’d like. The accuser appears, and it doesn’t like anything. I don’t know how to do it with humor. It’s difficult for me to stand firm without being rigid.

Fear of Expressing Opinions

It’s also very difficult for me to say what I think or feel about people, especially if it's negative. I’m afraid they’ll get angry, that I’ll say something wrong and regret it, or that I’ll hurt them. Oh, this is a big issue: fear of being hurt and of hurting others. Therefore, it’s easier not to do anything.

Anger and Repressed Aggression

Anger is a central issue in therapy, and I can’t live with it. Either I completely shut down, or I imagine destroying everything if I let it go. Not only in therapy but in life as well. The Self-Preservation 6 is very afraid that their repressed aggression will turn into violence. This ghost is the reason for their advocacy of non-violence. But when they discover that their fear is actually being afraid, everything takes on a new shape.

Confrontation in Therapy

As a therapist, confrontation is very difficult for me. Simply stating what I observe in others—especially if it’s negative—feels like I’m acting with extreme violence. Telling a patient, for example, that their vision of a situation seems silly or childish feels like I’m attacking them directly. Then, I fear a devastating reaction: that they’ll collapse, cry, or turn into a beast to destroy the entire room... In short, projections.

The Basic Passion: Paralyzing Fear

The basic passion is, therefore, paralyzing fear—a fear that blocks me. The Self-Preservation 6 tends to rationalize things, often successfully, and in those cases, the clear idea of what to do allows them to function with apparent normality (just like the social subtype). But frequently, new information appears that contradicts what was already reasoned, and they become paralyzed. Paralysis is the mind getting confused while the body is tense and anxious: not knowing where to go. Sometimes, it manifests as fright, but typically, it’s hidden, as they adopt a soft expression, somewhere between affable and relaxed, very different from what they feel inside. Yes, very different from what they feel inside. Fear limits them when it comes to doing things they would like, both professionally and playfully.

Fear of Choice

As a child, and even as an adult, I didn’t dare to ride bumper cars or go to the fair for fun. Or I would start something (e.g., windsurfing) but end up exhausted and have no energy left.

It’s a fear of choosing between several options. If there’s only one way, or one that, based on the information available, seems better, it’s easier. They are afraid of offending, upsetting, or harming others with their decisions, fearing it might generate enmity. And also, they fear not choosing the most advantageous option for themselves, even if it doesn’t harm anyone.

Acute Phases of Anxiety

In the acute phases, anxiety is not under control but rather explodes, making daily life and normal functions difficult. The physical symptoms worsen, and the warm E6 remains fixated on obsessive issues. Until they resolve the problems triggering the crisis, they find themselves stuck in a catastrophic tunnel vision.