The Characteristic Neurotic Need

Passion is a substitute for the deep meaning of life, which is simply to be, to exist ("I am here and now"). When we lose that connection, we fall in love with a substitute energy to support ourselves in the illusion that “if I am like this, I do feel alive, it's worth it, and I'll push forward.”

The child who will develop as an E6 hardly experiences, even during the gestation period, a supportive environment that helps him cope with the exposure to life and, when he is born, the physical separation from the mother. The mother, who should, through contact, look, voice, and presence, convey security to him, is neither emotionally calm nor serene; she does not convey stability and, therefore, confidence in simply being and existing.

The general passion of E6 is Fear: a state of alertness caused not by specific stimuli, but by the mere fact of being in the world. There is no such thing as a dangerous thing; there is a probably dangerous world. This prevention gives him the illusion of orientation in life, and also a perception of feeling, of existing. Paradoxically, if I feel afraid, I can live in this world. But this attitude greatly limits experimentation (as if the E6 restricts its own field of action). Although it is the most active of the subtypes, the action of the Sexual 6 is motivated by the impulse to defend oneself; therefore, it is more correct to speak of reaction.

It is not possible for him to surrender to an emotional world that, for the most part, is either unknown or chaotic. The energies are, therefore, put at the service of a 360-degree control, which makes it possible to anticipate danger—and that control is also exercised on oneself. This generates a state of anxiety that becomes a way of life. By listening to his own anxiety, the child learns to feel, to measure the level of danger, and to assess the need for control. Anxiety, typical in all three subtypes, is closely linked to the fear of being the cause (experienced as guilt) of the separation, rejection, or aggressiveness of the other.

All E6s resolve anxiety by seeking to understand where the threat comes from. Emotions are separated from the body and thought; the body hardens, and thought becomes the pattern: "If I understand, I can save myself." In the counterphobic subtype specifically: “If the other is to blame, I can save myself.”

The Sexual 6 is the countertype and, in the face of this generalized and indefinable fear, a defense has operated: the Force. After the fall of paradise, the fear intensifies in order to endure what is happening. The Force is the passion to defy fear, to hide it by a very strong shame of being seen. Existentially: "If I am strong, I can live; I can even allow myself to be loved."

The core motivation of this subtype is to combat fear. His neurotic need is to make sure he won't succumb to it, which he can do not only by avoiding it, as all E6s do, but also by proving to himself that he can fight it.

The image of being courageous replaces the loss of contact and faith in one's deep being. Challenging fear increases one's level of self-esteem; it feeds narcissism by making one feel strong. Obviously, the basic passion—fear—continues to do its job, so he has to use a lot of energy to control others, and, in order not to feel, he does not stop. The Force also takes over the sphere of thought, which must be fast and always lucid (unlike the Self-Preservation 6, characterized by nebulous thought and confusion due to anxiety); the word must reach directly and quickly, and the gestures will be invasive and aggressive.

The child's attempt to organize, structure, and understand the world leads him to live with his contained energy and with a precociously developed cognitive capacity, as opposed to the spontaneity typical of his age. But not even this can give an answer to doubts or anguish. So he makes a decision: act impulsively. This allows him to live the illusion that he controls his fate.

After a childhood with attempts—some surreptitious and others more obvious—to abandon life (dehydration in the first months of life, whooping cough at the age of four or five, a suicide attempt at puberty...), I recognize the decision made to survive—the only decision, in fact—which is to act aggressively; not avoiding or stopping the aggressive instinct. And this is experienced with fear and guilt. (R.)

We can, therefore, speak of strength not only in front of the world but also in front of oneself. In a fight with himself, in polarity, he embodies his own opponent: his superego. This internalized parental authority figure subjects him to harsh self-punishment.

The Force is, therefore, in reality the identification with a superego that is a persecuting executioner, and that expresses itself in disgusting restrictions or needs—even physiological ones, such as eating, urinating, or defecating—or as self-punishment, with exposure to the worst without protection, including suicide attempts...

Fear can be seen surreptitiously in the hard, defiant, and disconnected stare (connected only with a mental image). With vehemence, the Sexual 6 masks the anxiety and insane clinging to the control of reality.

"Power moves me. The impotence, the humiliation, bothers me. My personal power—I can do everything—strength and protection are my motto. I owe nothing to anyone, because it is not thanks to others but thanks to myself that life is going the way it is. My god is me; God is within me. I recognize myself in pride, conceit, almost megalomania. And I can't, I don't want to bite my tongue: I need to show off how confrontational I can be, that I get what I want with my strength or my powers; although it is more a fantasy than reality." (R.)

In short, the Sexual 6, through force, seeks to show itself unscathed, "without injury or damage," triumphant over itself or, even better, over its fear.

The stronger I am while fighting, resisting, negating, and neutralizing the other, the more my strength increases. In this way, it is possible not to feel afraid and to do everything alone; it's the only way to manage. (R.)

The existential dynamic can be summed up in this vicious circle: "If I am strong, I can save myself. If, through force, I survive fear, I can even allow myself to fall in love or receive love. But the love filtered by force is not deep, it is not genuine, so it does not bring happiness."