Emotionality and Fantasy

For the E9, who do not realize that they do not feel, this is perhaps the most difficult issue. They are so disconnected from their own intimacy that they are not even aware of their detachment from their emotions.

Something tremendously painful must happen for this character’s almost relentless dissociation mechanisms to fail them. Hopefully, this is the moment when they begin their therapeutic process. With even more luck, as therapy progresses, they start to suspect that others seem to experience things differently. And for them to truly wake up from their emotional numbness, some kind of miracle has to occur.

They refuse to look at themselves to avoid acknowledging that pain does, in fact, hurt. It is only when they stop suppressing their inner experience that they realize how absurd it is to completely withdraw from it just to avoid discomfort.

Until now, the term indolence has not been explicitly used as a predominant trait of the E9 character, though it essentially means the same as laziness while also signifying insensitivity to pain. The emotional consequence of their interpersonal strategy—avoiding conflict and painful situations—is a severe scarcity of inner experience.

Claudio Naranjo uses the term psychological pachydermism to describe their emotional numbness. It is as if a thick layer of glass separates them from their own experiences, dulling their ability to feel. They desensitize themselves to avoid pain, which ultimately results in an overall blockage of emotions.

“I forget about myself. I don’t feel anything. It’s as if I have nothing to do with myself. Total coldness.” (Anonymous)

“I have a hard time acknowledging my emotions. They seem to enter my consciousness so slowly that I barely notice them. It’s like a mist creeping in little by little, but it takes a long time for me to actually feel it.” (Joyce)

“I always had the impression that others lived with more intensity than I did. My emotional state always seemed to resemble a ‘flat encephalogram.’” (Miriam)

“For many years, in a way that now seems terribly absurd and naïve to me, I was convinced that I had no emotions. Later, for another long stretch of time, I could only recognize ‘overwhelmed’ as the highest level of definition for my internal states—when they stood out from the usual homogeneity. I started therapy due to a diffuse sense of discomfort that made me restless all the time. A background anxiety that, even then, I was largely disconnected from.”

As we have seen in interpersonal strategies, the robotic good face they put on in bad weather reflects their ingrained habit of ignoring their internal climate. They prefer to oversimplify their experience and avoid asking too many questions, as doing so could bring unpleasant emotions to the surface. It is in their best interest not to think too much about themselves or their feelings—making therapy particularly challenging.

“For me, only what was outside of me existed. Things happened to others. Many events were taking place. But I didn’t realize that internal listening—listening to myself—could serve a purpose. I had no idea it could be useful to me.” (Susan)

It is not easy for the Social 9 to recognize how deeply disconnected they are from their emotions and from themselves. They can endure painful situations with stoic detachment,

sometimes even reaching a state of comfort in their numbness, or they may exhaust themselves without realizing they are tired. Their strategy resembles that of an opossum—emotionally playing dead in the face of pain or conflict. The problem is, they forget to wake up once the danger has passed.

Their emotional detachment serves their over-adaptation. Lacking a connection with their own feelings, they compensate by merging with the emotional world of others. The Social 9 can be deeply moved by the suffering of those around them while recounting their own painful experiences with complete emotional detachment. It is perhaps because of this second-hand emotionality that they fail to realize they are not truly living their own emotions. They cannot distinguish between what they feel and what they are absorbing from others. Many Social 9s, for instance, become outraged at scenes of child abuse while failing to register the abuse they themselves have suffered—thus, they often become emotional receptacles for others.

“I can connect with other people’s emotions better than with my own. I absorb painful situations and experience them as if they were mine. I can support people through grief or illness, but mourning my own losses and accepting my own suffering is nearly impossible for me.” (Anonymous)

“One night at a hotel, I found myself shivering in bed, telling myself: ‘Come on, hold on a little longer. Stay still. The cold will pass. Hold on, hold on…’ when I suddenly realized—I could just get up and grab a blanket.” (Anonymous)

However, the thick skin of the Social 9 has an added layer of extraversion. They become outwardly social as a mechanism to avoid contact with their inner world. Beneath a friendly, jovial exterior, their true feelings remain hidden—both from themselves and from others. Their extraversion serves as a distraction, preventing them from engaging with their emotions directly. Instead, they channel their energy into shallow sociability, surface-level chatter, and a false sense of contentment, which flattens their emotional depth. It is common for Social 9s to resort to automatic laughter or abruptly change the subject to evade their real feelings.

“Before, I was always happy. I tend to suppress emotions by laughing in tense situations. I joke, I laugh, I try to be funny.” (Susan)

Unlike other subtypes, it’s not entirely accurate to say that Social 9s don’t think much. Rather, they misuse their intellectual capacity to avoid thinking about what causes them suffering. On a mental level, Social 9s suppress their emotions by analyzing them rather

than feeling them. Instead of experiencing their emotions, they attempt to rationalize them away. They crush their feelings with explanations and justifications until no trace of the raw experience remains. They constantly intellectualize their struggles, speaking about them in a detached manner, which can be frustrating to others.

“During a drama exercise in SAT, I realized how disconnected I was from my emotions. My therapist was trying to help me access what I was feeling, but all I could do was talk about ideas. I was trying to recall a situation where I had felt something, and I was completely blocked. My therapist asked me what I was doing, and I explained that I was trying to remember an emotion. She told me, ‘Don’t remember it. Feel it! Feel it!’ But I was unable to connect with my emotions until the next day, when something spontaneous triggered them. That was when I finally realized—‘Oh, this is what she was trying to get me to recognize.’” (Joyce)

Intellectual curiosity is another trait of this subtype, but it often works against them—serving as a substitute for emotional engagement or as a distraction from inner awareness. They find everything fascinating, from the mundane to the esoteric, yet they tend to engage with ideas about life without fully including themselves in the experience. This curiosity also fuels their social extraversion.

“In high school, I had decided I wanted to ‘see the world.’ At twenty, I was offered a job as a flight attendant and left my boyfriend to pursue my plan. It wasn’t until months later that I realized how much I missed him and how important he was to me.” (Joyce)

As a result of this persistent emotional disconnection, a state of daze develops, further impairing their ability to recognize what is happening to them. If someone asks how they feel, their automatic response is: “I don’t know.” When faced with painful realizations, they ignore the inconvenient pieces to avoid confronting them. They draw conclusions from distorted, oversimplified perceptions.

“One way I disconnect is by simply not paying attention—not noticing, not remembering what people tell me. This lack of awareness causes me to miss things, forget conversations, or overlook important details.

Connecting with my emotions is difficult. When I do, it feels overwhelming, like I am being flooded. I know my own mechanism well: the moment a situation becomes difficult, I divert my attention, change the subject, downplay it, or pretend I don’t know.” (Raquel)

Obviously, the Social 9 also distances themselves from emotions through action. By staying active and constantly busy, emotions take a backseat. This continuous activity helps sustain their disconnection from their intimate experiences. Their ability to keep working no matter what happens is remarkable.

"In situations of personal pain, such as the death of my father, my instinct is to escape. To do this, I throw myself into action—I become efficient, taking on tasks that others are supposed to handle, like calling relatives. This helps distract me from the emotion because I can't stand the pain it causes me." (Anonymous)

When it comes to emotions they perceive as negative, Social 9s have a common and compulsive tendency to repress them.

"In general, I find it difficult to identify sadness, anger, or pain. In my home, emotions were never expressed, so I assumed they weren’t allowed. No one showed anything—not my father, not my mother, not my siblings. It was a false ‘I'm fine, everything is fine.’" (Anonymous)

However, Social 9s do experience anger. This usually happens when their constant consideration for others is not reciprocated at key moments.

"Beneath the surface of good humor and caring for others and the world, there is a small voice that wants to scream: ‘What about me? I'm here! Take an interest in me!’" (Joyce)

At times, they realize their anger too late, or even when they do feel it, they repress it. Over time, this suppression can lead to sudden, disproportionate outbursts of rage that may seem excessive to others. These outbursts are often followed by remorse and self-reproach. The cumulative nature of their frustration stems either from repeatedly enduring aggression without expressing their discomfort or from witnessing someone close to them being mistreated, which triggers an accumulated emotional release. It is common for others to respond with confusion, asking, "Why are you so angry?"

Sadness is another emotion they feel forbidden to express. Instead, they might claim to feel sad when they are actually angry, using this as a way to cool off their rage.

Some Social 9s are also unaware of their fears. However, fear often disguises itself as laziness ("I don’t feel like it"), ignorance ("I don’t know"), or incapacity ("I can’t").

"When 9/11 happened, I heard the fear in the voice of the radio announcer and saw it on the faces of my team when I got to work, but I didn’t feel a thing. I thought everyone else was getting carried away without knowing what really happened. Everyone except me was scared. I was surprised when someone asked if we should close the center and go home." (Joyce)

Social 9s are generally not very imaginative, as they are more focused on action. However, fantasy serves as an escape from painful situations. Some are drawn to esoteric topics, using cosmic energies to explain their experiences rather than directly addressing their emotions. Others create an idealized "Lalaland" where harmony reigns, and no one suffers. They prefer fantasizing about how things could be rather than taking concrete action in conflict situations.

They struggle with accepting reality as it is and taking responsibility for their own well-being. Fantasy can also serve as a mental rehearsal for confrontations and revenge that they never actually carry out.

"I fantasize a lot about what I would say to someone, repeating it to myself until it becomes almost an obsession. If I witness an injustice or want revenge, I tell myself, ‘This can’t be! I’ll tell them why not…’ But in the moment, when the person is standing in front of me, I completely deflate." (Mayka)

The intuitive ability of Social 9s is often obscured by their mental fog. Their minds interfere with and confuse their perceptions instead of registering them properly. However, as they progress in therapy and personal growth, they develop a stronger intuitive capacity, which becomes an ally in maintaining contact with their sensory and emotional experiences.