E5 Social – Totem

If the E4 are so intense, that this makes them very differentiated or contrasting characters, the E5, on the other hand, in their usual lack of intensity, appear to us as more difficult to differentiate between them.

In reference to the passion of social E5, Ichazo used the word totem, which I find very evocative, a good image. But the passion of the social E5 is something similar to the need for the essential, the sublime, we could say, instead of the need for what there is. Totem indicates both height and the character of being a constructed object rather than a human being. The height of a totem evokes a tendency of these people to look up, towards the ideal, and to relate to the most outstanding and prominent among people, something like Midas wanted everything he touched to turn to gold.

The tragedy is that, by seeking the social E5 a super value, it implicitly despises ordinary life and ordinary people. He is only interested in the quintessence of life, the elixir of existence, the ultimate meaning. But in this orientation towards the stars he becomes someone who is little interested in life here below... He becomes, therefore, too spiritual, since affective impoverishment, which moves away from compassion, is precisely contrary to spiritual achievement. Thus, in this character, a polarity is established between the extraordinary and what does not make sense, so that nothing makes sense until the extraordinary or magical is reached.

The transformation in the social E5 by Angelo Contarino

The lines that follow condense experiences, intuitions, reflections and commitment on the part of many people: those who participated directly in the writing with their biographical account and their writings, and those who participated in the debate meetings to share, reflect or differentiate themselves with others. social fives. The following have collaborated in the preparation of this chapter: Luis Fernando Cámara, Eduardo Guedes, Paco Aguayo, Miguel, Marian Quintillá and Pablo.

What has been left behind

One of the first things to come to light is the abandonment of a dull, depressed mode of being in the world. A kind of sadness, of opacity, is lost, which makes things the same and repetitive, without a future, without a project. You lose that kind of laziness that has little to do with a natural rhythm that allows you to enjoy life and that is related, instead, to the difficulty of feeling and perceiving stimuli, and responding to them.

The muffler effect disappears, which serves to muffle perceptions, and through which, for example, we realize only a posteriori the emotions we feel. What's more: in some cases there is

an excess of sensitivity and susceptibility. You react with more force and spontaneity; with less ambiguity; with less need for rebellion; with less resentment; and aggressiveness is experienced.

Before, the emotional charge ended up in the inconspicuous but active box of resentment, which was often expressed in an indirect and veiled way, and almost never at the right time. The habit of swallowing everything is lost and it is easier to deal with rough situations or those that cause discomfort. There is no longer an effort to avoid or to hide.

The "no" is natural, passing first through the period of "I can't" and then "I don't want to". Ambiguity is lost in favor of clarity and transparency.

Before, it was as if the perceptions arrived muffled. Awareness of the stimulus came much later. As if in a remote time of life the need had been felt to muffle the emotion for fear of its excessive load. There followed an indecision in behavior that manifested itself through hidden doubt and pretending that nothing is happening.

The crazy idea consists in preferring not to feel: "Nothing happens here, and if it happens, I put up with it and hide it, even from myself. It is then that the five puts on a poker face, as if everything were slipping away from him and he was above good and evil, in such a way that he neither feels nor suffers. What happens is that the five decided at a very early age to lock his heart in a trunk so as not to suffer and throw the key to the bottom of the sea", says Miguel.

So that as the healing process advances, the feeling of being in limbo ends, of navigating in an area of poorly defined relationships, in which things could be done but are not done, an answer could be given that is not da, and you're not sure you feel what you feel. A feeling of suspension in which, to pass the time, we give ourselves over to activities such as being in front of the television or the computer, unwillingly, without realizing that we are killing the energy that we carry inside.

"I realize that there is less reaction time between what I think and what I express. The five is known to be deeply insecure about what he perceives and realizes it very slowly, so he puts everything off. That time has decreased for thoughts, emotions and actions. Now I feel more talkative, more communicative. There is less customs, less censorship because the fear of being wrong has decreased. There is a more fluid expression of thoughts and feelings, and I rest in not having the position of the expert," says Luisfer. "We learn to say what we feel, what bothers us and what we need even if we do not have "solid arguments" to support it. To say enough and manage to keep it. To clearly ask for what we need," says Marian.

Expressive freedom is one side of the medal; the other is to give less importance to the approval of others

"I give less importance to what others think of me. I liked knowing that I am great and important and I realize that there is still an approval and prestige craving part. But I don't give it so much importance; I realize more how I want that and at the same time I can put it aside, I don't believe it too much anymore," confesses Luisfer.

Decrease the time spent on internal dialogue. Fewer explanations and rationalizations are sought that imply a delay in action. We are more aware that so many laps are the result of an attempt at self-manipulation that leads nowhere. "The limits of the mind and will are experienced as real, losing faith in the omnipotence of the intellect," says Marian.

Lucubrations are abandoned to seek the cause of events in reasons external to the lived experience. We settle for what happens. The answer is found where the question arises: Confidence in theories, in the accumulation of knowledge, in extraordinary visions, is withdrawn. "I'm quite tired of learning theories, reading books... Right now I'm more interested in what has to do with the body," says Miguel.

We are less planning and strategic: we realized that any type of plan, the result of fear or feeling inadequate and uncomfortable in certain situations, does not give the expected results and, often, is not even viable. "I do not seek the extraordinary to extricate myself from everyday and real life. I don't substitute human emotions and experiences for "mega-intellectual handjobs‘ or for "supernatural shots‘, and above all I don't believe them... I don't believe my fantasies either," says Marian.

While the feeling of imagined superiority in relation to others is diluted until it disappears and we surrender more to friendship than to a relationship of expert and teacher, we also abandon the feeling of inferiority and guilt; the identification with the bad breast or with the one that did not exist is abandoned.

As far as things of love are concerned, the pleasant experience of contact is welcomed and little by little the idea that it is better to be alone is abandoned: we no longer imagine ourselves alone in life and we give space to encounters, coexistence and family. The couple and sexual relations are more complete and fulfilling, and they do not want to give up. The idea of sentimental solitude and the fantasy of the single are abandoned to open up to the unknown world of relationships and/or the creation of a family. "We leave behind the crazy idea that someone could love us with how strange we are," Miguel thinks, and we leave behind the fantasy that our mysterious and inaccessible image can really serve to establish relationships.

Of course, the achievement of new balances is the result of a process that can go through several phases. As far as significant sentimental experiences are concerned, having abandoned the shell, emotional openness brings with it the pleasure of being with the other and, at the same time, the fear of losing one's own independence.

Sometimes, the initial rejection of the relationship turns into his own: a desire for exclusivity and great demand in relation to the couple.

Recognizing the difficulty of integrating erotic love with affective love and being aware that sexuality defends us from feeling love, the distance between eros and feeling is shortened, and we embark on a path of progressive integration of the two spheres of feeling love. Sexuality previously repressed or lived in a distorted way and with daring fantasies resumes its pleasurable nature. At the same time, "the dependent bond is no longer confused with friendship, and falling in love with true love, and the mechanism of fusion, confluence or dependence out of gratitude towards the other is avoided," says Miguel.

We do not sacrifice ourselves, or other people or relationships, on the totem pole altar. This is very important and supposes a root change.

Main changes

"Hey, I'm going to be a normal guy!" warned another of our tribe... The film by the brilliant Aragonese film director Luis Buñuel “Simón del Desierto”, in which he presents a hermit who goes to live in the desert on a the top of a column, ends in a nightclub in a Mexican city in which the old hermit, shaved, detached from his sackcloth and dressed as one more, does everything possible to flirt with some girls.

Among the main changes stands out a new sense of life that flows inside. A feeling of being and being in situations vibrating by what happens, although sometimes we are assailed by emotions due to lack of emotional training. It is as if the path towards one's own humanity was resumed, abruptly interrupted during the first phase of life, an interruption successively renewed without any real motivation.

"We take care of our basic needs, physical and emotional, with quality. Loved people, nurturing relationships, rest, health care. Awareness and respect for one's own limits. We commit ourselves to life and to people, unlike that eternal being on the sidelines, in purity, in irreproachability and in nothingness", says Marian.

"I am more aware of what I do. Being more present in daily life, this is my reference. Now, if I don't find meaning in ordinary life, something must be wrong", says Luisfer.

Of course, this landing in the world is the consequence of a process, sometimes painful, of loss of confidence in the old ideals that can cause fear and uneasiness and that makes the five find themselves facing the void. You feel that the ground is missing under your feet, that everything that used to serve is now useless, and that even the highest values no longer support you; and there is also a moment in which it is perceived in an earthly and disintegrating way. That will be the moment when the mask will come off, the naive will fall from his column and the bump can be very painful. That which he had loved as most precious, that for which he had

sacrificed himself, will seem to have no value anymore. "That is the emptiness, a moment of total panic that can make one think of madness. Life loses all its meaning. Depression, panic, despair, being alone in a dark well and not being able to get out."

Panic, empty. The vacuum. And now that? "Then strange moments can arrive, brown and without flavor; of being fragile and not being able to trust in having a north, a retreat into one's own life. And doubts. Doubts about whether to continue collecting, out of habit, transcendent wisdom that can lead to some kind of profound health or, on the contrary, intuitively more than rationally, give up finding that ancient non-existent treasure," says Marian.

When everything seems to make no sense and the mind accustomed to understanding is not able to dissolve the knots, emotions take over with turbulence and one feels dragged to unknown and unwanted places. Literally, a way of being breaks down. The old balance is broken and the ingredients of the personality are released to re-crystallize around an essential center.

"You cannot suddenly get out of the void, that desert of ashes from burned books, which leads us to an inner feeling of uselessness, of being incapable of achieving anything. The substitute for life showed his lie and the search for love is made difficult by the lack of faith and self-confidence," says Miguel.

But the process continues. The approach to life, which was previously manifested through thought, takes more and more form through feeling, both physical and emotional. You rediscover the feeling of being, of being present. Simple things like the pleasure of breathing, of feeling that we breathe while we are in the company of others, are recognized.

From the practical point of view, everything assumes a greater intensity. Unlike before, it is no longer possible not to be present. A charge manifests itself, a force that leads to contact and sometimes harsh confrontation. Everything takes on an unknown intensity and drama. Grab the bull by the horns: deal with solving the problem without putting it off. The awareness of the needs, the connection with the emotions, the experience of the satisfaction of desires, of their wide range, the taste of life, no longer make us withdraw, grumpy, for something that can be solved by asking for a hand to the person who can help us.

"Before I was in tasks that were above; before, lofty tasks demanded my full attention. Freed from this, I now have more love for myself, I am more aware of what I want and I am more free-brave to say it. I dare", says Luisfer.

The feeling of friendship, which the five has always cultivated through affection related to esteem and admiration, becomes significant, a fundamental support base to sustain oneself and understand what is happening. The saying "Better alone than in bad company" has been followed more than necessary.

"Opening our hearts to a friend, discovering that they may love us and listening even in situations that seem strange to us and yet to be understood is one of the things that most heals the E5", believes Miguel.

Upon discovering the value of the friendship relationship, it also becomes unacceptable to give up old friendships with which misunderstandings and annoyances may have arisen, and it becomes equally important to repair conflicts, enduring anguish and having an open heart to show one's own vulnerability.

"Consolidating the territory of friendships, as we progress along our path of growth we will discover that we can also learn from ordinary people, and also from those who did not fit into our horizon," continues Miguel.

The idea of being in the truth is abandoned and the experience of understanding other ways of seeing life is welcomed. Each one has their way of being and it is difficult to say what is the best way to approach each other.

"I have also learned a lot from the people with whom I got along badly (enemies and hated): it has been surprising to see how you can go from intolerance to friendship, to see to what extent I have the same thing that I cannot stand, understand those relationships and make them friendship", adds Luisfer.

New attitudes that are born

While some previously impossible changes are now viable, we are witnessing the crystallization of a new way of being, of living, as a result of the work done. An interior modality that finds a correspondence in a way of feeling in the physical. It is, from a certain point of view, a psychophysical posture towards life, a way of being in it. We feel with our feet more firmly on the ground and our spine straight: both gestures contribute to creating the feeling of "I am here" with dignity and strength. The verticality is not that of the monolith but rather that of a rounder and smoother shape; fewer angles and more curves; less gray seriousness and more entertainment.

The care of the body, the attention to the aesthetic aspect, an availability towards contact and exchange, an ethic of participation, greater security, are frequent and reduce an old way of appearing careless and indolent.

"The novelty is being more in the body and taking care of myself, taking charge of my life. Now, at this moment, I eat, I take care of myself, I take care of myself in the body guiding food, health," says Luisfer.

There are no longer reasons to identify with the child part that is attacked and guilty, and the perception of being little and of being seen as little as possible fades away.

"I don't feel like doing anything else but what I do... My current job is to stay there, feeling, until I find out, and as far as possible (this includes my own neurotic limits), put the means to satisfy my need", explains Marian.

It is like accepting your assigned place in the universe and honoring the flowing life. Between the opposite poles of fear and submission there is an intermediate point that leads to an assertive, calm and self-confident attitude, which faces whatever comes without losing its calm. The sensation of verticality is accompanied and complemented by a less serious and reflective attitude.

"I discover within myself a more playful attitude, more childish, more in contact with the inner child. I have more ability to joke leaving behind solemnity/grandiosity. Being lighter, not taking myself seriously," confesses Luisfer.

A sense of confidence develops in the fact that what can be done is done, and that there is nothing to fear if we go with the flow of life:

"It is also inevitable that a clumsy five decides to take action accepting the possibility of being wrong," says Miguel. The feeling of acceptance extends to everything, also to the most sacrificed parts and the parts carried automatically. "It seems to me that one of the most transformative things that I have been learning is to validate myself in all my facets, including the most characteristic. The assumption is that I stopped fighting," says Marian.

The pleasure of some abilities, of some interests and competences that were impregnated with egoic motivations and that are, in any case, a source of personal pleasure and connection with the world (reading, writing, valuing art, aesthetic dimension).

"Overcome the feeling of incapacity caused by a very severe judge, one goes through states of euphoria (like a child with new shoes), disappointment in the face of the first obstacles and need for help. But this does not affect the need to go out into the world and learn from one's own mistakes. The attitude of going with an open heart and looking the other in the eye remains, the willingness to receive naturally remains and you learn to ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake", says Miguel.

The feeling of affection and of the same compassion that one feels growing up, do not belong to the individual but rather include them. It is natural. You feel less afraid to show and share the affection you feel. By being in contact and being faithful to the current of vibrations, the commitment to the other and to the world appears.

Sometimes we do not feel prepared to welcome such intensity, and in this case another horizon also opens up:

"I have the feeling of a deep love towards the world... Something moves me, and I feel this love. I don't know what to do with something so big... It's a compassionate love that lives

more easily in solitude. At some point I have been able to share it with the people I love. I'm still ashamed to express it. I value people, I see the best in people. Sometimes it is more difficult for me to see it in myself than in people", confesses Eduardo.

This is a moment in the process that leads to surrendering to the evidence that there are no merits in feeling emotions such as love and compassion, that there is nothing high and special. It is something natural that arises from the relationship; something human, deeply human, for which unfortunately we are not prepared in principle, but that can be transformed into a simple willingness to be with an open heart towards ourselves and towards others.

What has helped us? Therapeutic practices and tools

The social E5 has more difficulties than the E1 to identify with his totemic ideal. This difficulty leads him, on the one hand, to search for something increasingly extraordinary that will save him once and for all, and on the other, to perceive the distance that separates his daily life from the ideal. Not being able to be comfortable in the place where we are used to, disposes us to travel, to meet new people with whom to establish different relationship modalities, and to be in places where something significant can happen. That is enough to crystallize a state of balance and deep well-being. It is, however, useful to "savor the emptiness of having achieved what we wanted, knowledge, recognition, etc., and see that it does not satisfy the inner hunger for love and contact," says Marian.

However, "I did not get much from my searches or from the many books I read. My relationships had been few, and they were usually with women who were far away or women who were unbalanced and very emotionally charged. At work, and despite knowing I was a very talented musician, it was difficult for me to value myself and I accepted economic arrangements below what I deserved", adds Pablo.

"The dissatisfaction is perceived and we realize that, locked up in the ivory tower of the totem, even excited, hypnotized and devoted to it, there is something wrong," observes Miguel.

To the perception of dissatisfaction is added, sometimes, the deep experience of despair: when it is seen that everything that has been built — and often on ground that at some point had been solid — begins to crumble as after an earthquake, you can live a moment of cosmic despair. You don't know what to do, you don't know where to go, any movement seems to aggravate the situation and there is no way out.

Pain that has been contained for a long time emerges and expresses itself in unpredictable, sometimes violent and vindictive ways.

At the moment in which this experience of emotional and rational dismemberment is going through, we cannot even imagine that it could be useful and that it represents the rupture of an egoic scheme that leaves open the way to new possibilities of interior reconstruction and new

states of consciousness. When we are in the dark, other unforeseen existential modalities of being in the world are activated, new possibilities are discovered and, above all, we become aware of what deeply constitutes us.

At that time, the small flame of meditation, friendship with friends and teacher, and trust in the process help to overcome many difficulties.

In these cases, the presence of a guide and a group of friends is important to facilitate and speed up the return home that has already begun. It can be the moment in which simple and essential things are discovered or rediscovered: "…one fine day I noticed that while my head was busy with these catastrophic thoughts, my lungs were barely breathing. Then I began to pay attention to my breathing and I noticed that the obsessive ideas that invaded my mind, if they didn't die down completely, lost strength. Almost by chance I discovered a magic recipe: against obsession, breathing", narrates Miguel.

The many tools that promote awareness of the body and of the self as a body are discovered and valued. The different body therapies, dance, physical contact, conscious breathing, massages, tai chi, chi kung, gestalt therapy, etc. It is also useful to dedicate time and attention to activities such as walking, feeling the sun and the air on your skin, listening to the sounds that surround us, excursions, contact with nature.

On the path of transformation, the experience of gestalt therapy is one of the most useful because it helps to become aware of the body and allows an integration of body and emotions. For a schizoid character like number five because, during childhood, in order to survive, he had to disconnect from the intensity of his emotions and then continue down this path due to automatic laziness or mental fear of exposing himself to other foreseeable catastrophic events, the path of integration is the master road to psycho-emotional health.

"Gestalt therapy represents a quick way of contact with emotions, with their existence, their importance and their usefulness when facing daily life. It is a simple and quick way to get off the donkey and step into the mud of emotions", says Marian.

The authentic meeting with other people who are put into discussion – characteristic of group therapy – offers a great opportunity to the social E5, without confidence and withdrawn in himself:

"For me, there has been nothing as surprising, or as unexpected, or as transformative as being seen and taken into account as a person. Genuinely. With interest. Without abandoning me and without overwhelming me. For this reason, there are few things that have been more healing for me — more revolutionary healing — than finding that other people treat with respect and care not what I think, but what I am," says Marian.

As we descend from the totemic limbo, we discover how we have collaborated in entangling ourselves in conflictive situations. We discover ourselves wounded and sore, and with an explosive charge of aggressive feelings. It has been a relief for everyone to be able to scream, attack, rebel and unleash a ruthless and wild inner animal that enjoys the fight.

After having discharged everything that boiled inside, we realize that it was an important vital energy, that it is part of our animal heritage and that it is not synonymous with violence as we previously believed. When anger is disengaged from long-held resentment and you are open not only to feeling emotions but also to confrontation in conflict, you learn to say "no" without too much trouble.

The old behavior of swallowing and refusing to answer and clarify things doesn't make sense anymore because we feel ready to put our limits with words and posture.

Knowledge of the personality map expressed through Protoanalysis and the Enneagram of Personality has been, for everyone, one of the most significant things on the path of personal formation. And this for many important reasons; some of them are: the thickness of the information received about oneself; simplicity the vision that sustains it and the possible dynamics to move away from the periphery of oneself to go towards the center itself.

For many it has been of great importance "to know that there were five others who had had a childhood similar to mine, their hobbies, experiences and way of seeing were equivalent to mine. This relieved me greatly. I was no longer the rarest creature in the world, there were other similar ones," says Miguel.

Another significant point has been, for those who have had the opportunity to do it in the countries where it is allowed, the experience with sacred or psychoactive plants; it can be very important to temporarily place yourself in a dimension you haven't been in before, a place where more things exist than you are aware of. The shamanic journey is a great opportunity to get to know each other better, to see where we are in life, what the fundamental dynamics are, as well as being a great help to get out of a situation of stagnation and overcome psychic bottlenecks.

What helped us the most on the journey to consciousness?

For a person who grew up with the fear of being invaded, the encounter with his peers becomes a litmus test: it is what he most seeks and of which he has an extreme need, and what he fears the most due to the disorders that it can cause.

The closest relationships and, therefore, the family ones, are the most transformative. It is important to understand the relationship with the parents and fundamentally the love relationship: a true school of growth that tests and pushes towards more ambitious goals.

Being able to give oneself, reuniting ways of loving that are usually separated, exchanging appreciation and pleasure of being with the other, can create a fluid so sweet and nourishing that it repairs and regenerates damaged existential tissues.

"The couple's relationship has been an important factor of change, a capital influence. Now I have more capacity to be present, to open up, to enjoy myself that was not possible before. This experience of love is deeper than in the past, because of an inner change. I don't think I've found a better partner," says Luisfer.

Through the couple's relationship we realize how our three centers (instinctive, emotional and mental) are separated and how, out of love for oneself and for the other, a process of harmonization can be established. Loving the other without forgetting oneself, balancing the modality of loving expression and, therefore, harmonizing the three types of love that as human beings we can feel and express (maternal, erotic and devotional love), means cultivating a plant whose fruits can be tasty and nutritious, and venture on a path of transformation that is surely among the most laborious for a five.

"I have been able to see how much of the need for love, sexuality, eroticism and affection that was missing was put elsewhere, it was displaced in a search for spirituality. It was as if there were an eroticization of the spiritual, of the extraordinary. Now I feel more in reality," says Luisfer.

The arrival of children is experienced as a grace and with a feeling of deep gratitude. It is an experience of joy and emotion, difficult to describe, that opens the heart and connects with humanity. Children have allowed us to open ourselves to a tenderness and feelings that can only be experienced with them. It is an experience that can break the rooted egocentrism of the social five, directed to take care of their own things. While learning the pleasure of putting oneself at the service of the child, the need to take care of the world in order to make it livable for the young generations becomes apparent.

One of the most important things is the presence of a special friend, recognized as a guide and teacher, with whom a process rich in experiences begins. It is fortunate to have found dear friends —some more significant than others—, but for many of us there was a particularly significant encounter with Claudio Naranjo.

"The relationship with Claudio as a teacher has been the most extensive in time and the most important. First, because of what he taught, then through informal contact: eating, walking... learning about his freedom, about his ability to be present, to say what was important. I have learned from his devotion and also from the conflicts I have had with him," says Luisfer.

As for me, I don't think I could have gone through what was the most difficult crisis of my life — in which I felt I could lose her, either physically or spiritually — without the acknowledgment of her presence and the feeling of devotion that accompanied it. accompanies.

When I felt myself explode and saw the fragments of my personality moving away from each other, the level of loneliness and despair was so high that I would not have been able to go through that difficult time - which lasted a long time, several years - if I had not felt the spacious quality of his presence, if I hadn't had confidence that somehow I could find protection in him, and if I hadn't sensed that he could help me because he understood without prejudice what I was going through. His presence gave me security even regarding the fact that certain processes must be allowed to flow and that, even when there is no light to be seen, the exit from the tunnel, is a matter of letting the process flow, trying to keep the flame of the awareness.

In this sense, some common meditation experiences have been fundamental in which I felt a connection so deep that it relieved the state I was in to take me directly to another state of presence.

Another important element related to Claudio's presence has been the existence of a group of friends gathered around him; especially some of them, with whom we have met for several years to confront and share individual and collective experiences. In those critical moments it was clear to me that it was a community of psycho-spiritual work that positively influenced and influences this part of my existential path.

A different relationship with the ego

Now, after many years of personal work, we see the limits and we are careful when we are drawn to paths little frequented by ordinary people. On the path of transformation, one learns to recognize the underlying mechanism that feeds the ego and also learns to accept it when it could be functional for the situation, but it is not given space when it is clear that it leads to the reinforcement of non-functional character tendencies.

That is why a kind of increasingly refined inner compass develops that allows us to perceive the elements that are part of the "return home" or when these elements, instead, move us away. We learn to say yes or no to ourselves. It is as if we prepare ourselves not to let ourselves be seduced by the song of our own sirens, while, on the other hand, we learn to feel the winds that unfurl the sails towards home.

Progressively, just as the useless isolation of people and situations is renounced, the effort directed at maintaining a parallel world of ideals and illusions is also renounced. What before seemed like a duty of logical and moral coherence now appears in its false and inconsistent function as a mask.

"Returning to the earthly and real world entails giving up our expectations and our fantasies about the same personal transformation (our own and others). Entering into the "I don‘t know‘ and holding on there, renouncing the extraordinary life, being in return more and more present in daily life, taking care of ourselves, attending to us, establishing more satisfactory contacts", says Marian.

"In everyday life, with its practical aspects, the need to pay attention to things and people does not manifest itself once and for all; there remains a territory to explore and discover, in which to advance with the ability to surprise oneself and a great willingness to experiment", says Miguel.

Upon falling into the land of men — after having navigated for a long time in parallel universes — you can feel a great disorientation because you still don't know what you want and how to do it. We feel uncomfortable in many situations and "it scares us simply to realize that a good part of our well-being depends on such simple and concrete issues, and their management. It discourages us from admitting to ourselves how little confidence we have in being able to achieve what we need in this regard to be satisfied," says Marian.

In fact, we carry within us a little-grown child who needs to learn many things that previously seemed to us to be of little importance and that now have great meaning in life. It is necessary to have an educational attitude towards ourselves and take our hand. It is about making room for that child and starting an understanding dialogue with him to help him walk through life on his own two feet.

We realize that, although on the one hand we feel closer to ourselves and more naked, without the need for disguises and identifying perfumes, on the other there are still areas of existence that are not functional, do not respond to authentic needs and that they would tend to prolong their authoritarian permanence.

As far as the parts of the self related to the old automatic mechanisms are concerned— life substitutes, illusions, subtotems can be formed—a need for acceptance and benevolence matures. It also matures a feeling of love that the social miser had not even granted himself.

"At a certain point I decided to stop beating myself up, mistreating myself, censoring myself and calling myself useless. I decided that the "dog from above‘ had its uses to warn of errors and deficiencies, but that I should not become a slave to its torturing hobby. From that moment on, the moments of depression and discomfort or discontent with myself have not disappeared , I still censor myself from time to time, but that internal disagreement lasts much less than before. I no longer spend entire weeks or entire months mistreating myself. I try to detect as soon as possible those moments in which catastrophic thoughts come to my mind but I do not fight against them but rather I have the confidence that they will go away, for example tomorrow, especially if I do something different from what I did today," says Miguel.

On the one hand, it is necessary to let the flow flow, to accept that there is a part that is not yet clean, and on the other, not to make concessions to the postponement of the awareness of events and to wish that certain situations and behaviors do not repeat themselves. With determination, if necessary, freeing our house from useless obstacles, from behavioral residues that lead to nothing, reducing the field of laziness and renewing the intention to work on oneself.

It is the moment of the impeccability of the warrior, of determination, like that of Ulysses with the suitors, but also of infinite love for oneself.

It is necessary to give rise to both one attitude and the other. Accept yourself, both in the light parts and in the shadow parts. Carry out the work in a context of trust in the organismic process. Things are as they are; they have their own dynamic; change does not depend on an act of will but on the faith with which they are clothed. We realize that the ego no longer covers us, does not dominate us; its dangerousness is reduced and it begins to be seen that there is a place for everything, that reality does not have two faces, but is unique.

From another, it is seen how long the road is, how insistent is the force of karma. However, we are witnessing a beneficial process: while new horizons are opened, some typical traits of character remain to be diluted and, finally, dissolved. The important thing is to do it with confidence and with a spirit of surrender.

When we give ourselves with confidence to life, the distance of our own personality is perceived. We feel good about the perception of needs that are given voice and expression; Desires are activated that, when previously perceived, were experienced as something unclean, a useless interruption of normal activity. Play, walk in the countryside, seek satisfaction, enjoy, work, etc. they become the most natural things in life, and not a contradiction with one's own search for fulfillment. It looks profoundly good and natural, and we wonder how we could have done without it for so long.

"After a process of transformation that has led me to tear down all my celestial idols, including a thousand and one conceptions of God, and to distrust everything that smacks of escapist transcendentalism, I continue to feel deep inside that I am not from here; However, this feeling is no longer presented as a comfortable excuse to not get involved in the world, to sublimate the pain or escape from the inevitable conflicts of everyday life, and even less do I use it as a maneuver to feel special, better or different to others... So, I am more present in daily life, and this is the only reference", explains Pablo.

It is also known that the road is long and that it must be traveled with confidence. Sufficient experiences have already been had to consolidate our faith in the profound nature of things.

The inner work and realization

The social E5 is very invested in self-improvement and is therefore naturally inclined toward inner work. However, it is surprising to see how the fruit of a work that is often disciplined and ethically motivated can be contaminated by the vanity of a self that is dissatisfied with its own image in so many other spheres of life. "Look how good I am... what experiences I am capable of achieving", is something we have all said to ourselves more than once. However, the psycho-spiritual path already traveled is and continues to be a plowed field in which to sow.

It is of course possible to resume and essentialize that path, and luckily spiritual practices have their antidotes, which generally have to do with the body. And, from the body, the social E5 has a lot of need.

Dynamic spiritual practices like the Latihan, dynamic Sufi practices, Zen meditation, meditative listening to music, all practices that involve movement and reducing mind control have been very important to us: you experience a constant change of experiences, the body's ability to self-recover and self-balance through the suspension of mental control interference is discovered. For the social E5 that burns with the desire to seek, it is essential to discover the possibility of relaxing, without making the efforts that often served to align with an ideal of behavior and image.

The social E5 has a marked tendency to indulge in experiences such as meditation, but has great difficulty integrating them into everyday reality.

Moreover, there is a moment that all of us who contribute to these lines have experienced in which everything learned seems useless or insufficient to be in everyday life and a phase of "disappointment of achievements through the extraordinary is experienced. References to the spiritual path have vanished. There has been a fall of the general lines about how things have to be and a stay in not knowing. No references. Abandoning concepts, ideas borrowed from masters, adopted by harmony but without a very deep or very embodied approach," says Luisfer. It is as if life, great teacher, asked us what is truly ours, not borrowed, not stolen.

There are episodes in life that really test us and the experience of being in the dark, disoriented, and sometimes desperate, can be an opportunity for change and transformation. We realize that the amount of accumulated experiences, the curriculum of degrees and the supposed level of spiritual maturity are not helpful. The pretense of knowing where one is going and what one is going to look for is renounced, and this represents a remarkable novelty. We marvel at how the body has the ability to self-regulate and solve what can be solved.

"There is no need to know what is not yet known. Nor do you need to know to be or to find the place", says Marian.

"I don't know where I have to go, this compulsive need to know where to go has decreased a lot. The need to confront an ideal image has been strong," says Luisfer.

This change of perspective, of direction, product of the previous work, contains and expresses more deeply rooted values. It is the importance of being versus having, of feeling versus the accumulation of high-sounding data and experiences. "It is very important to know, to feel, if it is a lived idea or if it is in the head", says Luisfer.

The feeling of being leads to the perception of life as real. Everything becomes something simple. "You go to a state of simplicity. A progressive trust in our human nature that I realize I didn't have before," says Marian.

"Now that the smoke is clearing, you can see the most real images. In this period that I live like new I don't have a precise direction, I don't compare it with ideal images. Today I know that I don't know and I feel much more earthly", adds Luisfer.

The feeling of being alive is established and it is discovered that as a result there is no need to do much, to make much effort. It is enough to let yourself be. We join the wisdom of the organism, leaving behind any — useless — intention of control. The experience is lived that the direction of life does not depend on a reflection or an act of will. The transformation is the product of a new crystallization of physical, emotional and mental elements based on a balance that leaves more space for the physical and for something that comes unexpectedly and mysteriously from within.

One has the experience of a wide space in consciousness, in which there is room for oneself and for the world. Sometimes everything seems to spring from consciousness. It is at the same time actor and scenery, increasing the microcosm-macrocosm relationships. Sometimes there seems to be a single energy web. Somehow, it is discovered to belong to the world, to be part of an evolutionary process expanded in space and time without taking anything away from one's own individuality.

Without dispensing with the intensity of emotions, the larger space in which they are contained cushions the alienating impact of identifying with them, and also allows them to be welcomed with a wider range.

"We accept life as it comes, what it brings and what it takes, opening ourselves to the different experiences and feelings, and without clinging to them... or avoiding them," says Marian.

Deep down, we discover that we participate in a greater destiny and accept the part that we have to live. More than anything, be what we are naturally.

Also the awareness of the end of life, which for a long time was what prompted us to take advantage of it, the motivation for a more authentic search, now loses the dramatic tonality that accompanied it to be seen as a real possibility that can come in any moment and that vanishes in a process where full and empty, existence and being, life and death, are related and converge one into the other.