Other Characteristic Traits And Psychodynamic Considerations

Here we mention some neurotic traits that describe the Self-Preservation 1, beyond those discussed in the previous chapters. They can help the reader understand the character through their behaviors and the underlying psychodynamics.

Some of the traits described may also be typical of other Enneatypes: we must always consider the passion from which they develop and the fixation that sustains them.

Moralist, Puritan

An excessive concern arises with everything that might evoke a sense of prohibition and violation of absolute moral principles. Modesty and morality are activated to contrast all forms of "evil" and "vulgarity." Attacking, rebelling, giving in to sexual instincts, indulging in pleasure, giving space to aspects seen as selfish become real taboos, just as they were prohibited in the family home. To oppose this, traits and tendencies are structured, such as,

for example, inner moral perfectionism, moralism, puritanism, intentional goodness, anti-hedonism, etc.

Virtuousness

In the end, the task of repressing instincts and inhibiting the free flow of their energy results in a well-mannered, well-intentioned person with a virtuous appearance. The formation of reactions also serves to remove unacceptable impulses from consciousness and keep unconscious emotions, including the anger generated by the very mechanism.

On the one hand, the effort to be better implies a self-frustration that keeps anger alive; on the other hand, the good intentions that sustain intentional kindness, gentleness, and personal altruism obscure the perception of being angry and being bad or selfish. This is how the person gives themselves a misleading self-image of being virtuous and well-intentioned. Virtuousness is based on the belief that they do what is good to do, with behavior consistent with what they say.

Helpful, Benevolent

There is a helpful attitude that can be seen in the SP1 character. Claudio Naranjo defines it as an "excessive willingness to obey." Not feeling worthy of love, they strive to please from their complacent and even servile mask. Generally, in childhood, they were good children, not rebellious, some out of fear of excessive authority, others by observing obedience or submission as behavior of one of the parents.

-"I thought that if I did everything my mother told me, she would love me. And that never happened. I'm sure I tried in every possible way, but I never got my mother's love or approval." - MERCÈ FALCO -Being helpful is a way to gain the attention and affection of another person. - BLANCA MARTINEZ

In a family environment of great demand and rigidity, the child seeks the approval of the parents through good behavior, while continuously feeling frustrated for never reaching what is expected of them, the ideal. Thus, they become more helpful in an attempt to gain the love and approval they need. "I behaved well, according to the rules, I did what you told me. Now, will you love me?"

Putting oneself at the service of others, the group, or people, is part of the "programming of goodness" we find in this character, an intentional kindness that seeks to feel love through

the appreciation and respect of others. This programming of goodness becomes a mask that tightens and chokes them; moreover, in many cases, they suffer from their own kindness. Being helpful becomes an unconscious seduction strategy to win love and feel acknowledged, valued, and necessary.

Their tendency to idealize also leads them, in interpersonal relationships, to place themselves in a position of help toward others, people, or causes, to which they attribute an ethical or moral greatness that leads them to assume a service position. In childhood, they maintained an idealized relationship with one of the parents, or idealized them in their absence, or perceived that they had exceptional qualities of strength or virtue.

Attached to their image of "good child," they seek approval through this helpful attitude. Their obedient and complacent behavior gives them security; they may nod automatically while rebelling internally. They act helpfully while the unspoken judgment of others and self-judgment fill them with anger internally.

-"Well, people asked me for help, and I helped, but one thing is help, and another thing is addiction, and in the end, I said, 'You’ll do this, at least try, right?' And learning to say 'no' cost me my life. And the filter, in the end, was asking myself, 'Do I want to do this?' and answering myself that it was very hard to know what I wanted." - QUIQUE SEGUÍ -I need the other person to approve of me - it’s my unfinished business, which I never got with my mother - and I will make them approve of me by becoming the helpful girl: "Tell me what you want, and I’ll bring it to you." I want nothing more than "to love is to care for the other," for you to love me for what I do for you, and that's exactly what I encourage, because I put myself in helpful mode as a seduction mechanism. I "sell" myself as useful to attract the other, when in fact, I like to follow my path, and the other follows theirs. I accept that this is my strategy. - MERCÈ FALCO

Many received the message, directly or indirectly, that "to love" is to obey, care for the other, or put oneself at their service. Thus, their own authority, excessively questioned by the inner judge, is placed on the other in search of approval. At the same time, this forms their own ego trap, as it leads them to constantly strive, trying to act correctly to win the love and respect of others.

Responsible

Taking on a series of responsibilities begins early in childhood and continues throughout life; thus, it is a character built around responsibility and obligation, which takes on the

meaning of "doing what needs to be done" and later becomes automatic, where the person ends up taking on responsibilities that do not concern them. The child is responsible for everything they do or creates responsibilities that no one asked for. Being a responsible child is a family mandate given from the earliest years to someone who suffered the consequence of losing childhood early. The simple act of asking oneself what they want or need is completely unknown to them and does not enter their vocabulary.

-As soon as I wake up and open one eye, the first thing that comes to my mind is: "What do I have to do today?" and a complete list of obligations appears before me. I am amazed when I realize that I move through the world from an energy of action, linked to work, responsibility, and obligations. Realizing that the place from where I view the world, what motivates me to act, the place where I do things, is an obligation. - MERCÈ FALCO -Obligation is obligation! I move through obligations. This loyalty is, ultimately, a duty, the duty to "get this done." It is what we have to do, what we must do now is... And there is the fact that everything must be done well, and the responsibility to do it right. - BLANCA MARTINEZ -I discover the girl behind all the obligations I impose on myself. When I lose contact with myself, I become addicted to the automatism of obligations, this self-important machine of doing, doing, doing, not seeing what I need. - MERCÈ FALCO

Heavy Work

The effort and energy expended are enormous, and they invest them without pause to become better than they are, trying compulsively to adapt to their own internal dictates.

-"I don’t accept compliments well. I also have difficulty giving them. Things must be done well just for the sake of doing them, without expecting any reward. Demands and perfection." - BLANCA MARTINEZ

"It’s never good enough, I’m never satisfied because I can always improve, so it’s like a river carrying you, and you have to say, 'Enough!' Because my deadline was approaching, and it was great, but I kept perfecting it, kept improving it, kept picking articles, changing commas, looking for synonyms, to make it as good as possible, but it was all very neurotic. And it was good! But it could have been better. So, it’s a current that needs to be interrupted. If not, I’ll wait until the last day, and not because I’m not satisfied, but because I can still do better." - LOLA REBOREDO

Dissatisfied

The antagonism with reality and the inability to accept what one is feeds and accumulates more resentment, making these individuals dissatisfied, serious, and sometimes even gloomy.

-"I need to accept myself as I am. If I free myself from the demands, self-kindness, self-indulgence, I am perfect; the other and the world are perfect, and I can rest." - MERCÈ FALCO

It is quite common for the SP1 subtype to find frustration in not having their expectations met, mainly due to their high self-demands. This is a rigid character, prone to not accepting reality and clinging to idealism, which becomes a continuous source of frustration.

They believe that instead of adapting to reality, reality must adapt to their ideal, which is why it is difficult for them to accept that life imposes limits on them, and as a result, they feel frustration and resentment again due to a very rigid upbringing where they received many "no"s.

-"I get angry because I don’t accept the limits that life now imposes on me, or I don’t accept the actions of others; I feel I don’t deserve to have limits imposed on me because I behaved well when I was a child, and that’s what feeds my anger and frustration." - MERCÈ FALCO

They believe they are a very flexible person, which is not true, because it is hard for them to accept reality. Therefore, they need to reform it, modify it, push the river. When a situation frustrates them because it’s not what they wanted, the SP1 can get very angry, but they are not aware of it: since anger is their most common emotional background, they don’t even notice it.

At the core, there is great anger, a "for me, there is none" that takes them back to repeated instances when the only answer they received was "no!" More than a low tolerance for frustration, it is the fact that, having repeated the issue of frustration for many years in the "university of family," they become filled with resentment when encountering it again. On the other hand, frustration is linked to the obsessive tendencies of this Enneatype: they try and fail, try again and fail, getting entangled in the repeated attempt to prove insistently that they can make it "work."

Frustrated, Resentful

In the Self-Preservation subtype, with this energy directed towards themselves, when frustrated, self-judgment begins. This is how the well-oiled mechanism of demand, control, frustration, impotence, and worry is set into motion, triggering the wheels in an endless movement. They need to make space for themselves, learn to make mistakes, as they are children who were not allowed to make mistakes, which makes it difficult for them to deal with frustrating situations, often becoming caught up in them.

The Self-Preservation subtype emerges from frustration when they release control and move towards humility, allowing them to understand that not all desires are fulfilled, or not as expected, and that life also brings us lessons through its limits; every frustration carries a lesson, it’s a limit set by life for us to learn and change our perspective.

Resentment is a psychic mechanism that arises in this character from systematically repressing the discharge of certain emotions, mainly anger; it occurs when they relive the pain they cannot express due to their inability to react to aggression. Generally, anger is reactive to a present situation, whereas in the case of SP1, anger is felt as a buildup from the past, from all the unexpressed anger at the moment.

-"When I was 14, my parents made me work, and I had been a great student. And then I have stored resentment that asks, 'Why didn’t they let me continue studying?'" - QUIQUE SEGUÍ -"When I feel angry, I tell myself, 'It’s nothing, calm down,' and I convince myself, but only my rational side. The emotional side remains stuck to the injustice received and the anger." - MERCÈ FALCO

Generally, resentment originates from a continuous experience of injustice, having assumed responsibilities in childhood and made efforts far beyond their possibilities that went unnoticed or unappreciated. They sacrifice and gag their "child" part, thus poorly developing the playful dimension and pleasure. The hyper-control exercised on the behavioral level determines the inhibition of spontaneity. They are terrified of losing control over themselves, as surely happened with one of their parents.

Resentment is persistent anger that cannot be forgotten or expressed, like a continuous connection with anger. They get stuck in this resentful energy, feeling a sense of injustice regarding what happened, the belief that it could have been different, and the feeling that they can no longer do anything to resolve the problem. Thus, they enter into an internal dialogue of anger against the other person for the damage received. In many instances, the damage is not having their needs met, such as being respected, heard, or valued, as happened to them as a child.

-"Resentment comes from not having expressed myself assertively in my life. It’s not what’s happening now, but what I relieve from my childhood wound of injustice. There’s no way to contain it, the anger is infinite. And resentment is absurd, everyone does what they can or know. I already know that. So, why stay addicted to it? Now, if you use a bad tone with me, respond with the same aggressive instinct with a message of confrontation. Bang your fist on the table. If you have to scream, I know how." - MERCÈ FALCO -"I always assumed that nothing hurt me, because I’ve felt so much pain and so much sense of being reprimanded or humiliated by others for feeling it, that I thought it would break me if I let it out. But I’m 'good,' and I don’t take revenge on those who harmed me. Because of so many poorly healed wounds and so much repression of what truly exists in me, I looked at the world with resentment, with a desire for revenge. I wanted to be the best and have the power to show that I had been able to resist and had the means and authority to take revenge." - CRISTIAN MORENO

Avoiding Conflict, Frustrated

They maintain a behavior of avoiding conflict, which is not faced directly but through criticism and judgment, creating cold distances in relationships. At first, this reduces the feeling of anger, but the unexpressed resentment remains internally trapped, like an anchor that prevents them from moving forward.

-"They told me to study, but then asked me to work in the family business... At some point, I thought: 'Damn, my siblings could study, and for as long as they wanted.' And there I was, but that didn’t last long, because I told myself: 'Okay, I could have studied, but reality wasn’t like that. And I need to keep moving forward, to put this in its place. Say: 'Okay, that wasn’t the case, but now what? Do I want to study now?' In other words, if I prioritize responsibility, the resentment over what could have been isn’t worth it. I try to get out of this situation, take responsibility, and tell myself: 'Hey, yes, that’s how it happened. It could have been different, they could’ve forced me to study, yes, but I have to let it go. I can’t stay there. I take responsibility, and if I want to study now, I’ll do it.'" - SERGIO ISLA -"Omeprazole is my bedside book for stomach pains. If anyone has the ability to make my stomach hurt, it’s my partner or, better said, me interacting with my partner. It’s the only medication I take regularly, every week or every two weeks." - QUIQUE SEGUÍ -"I somatize any tension directly through my stomach. I couldn’t eat for years because of the tension caused by my ex-partner. The food was horrible to me, and it took

hours and hours to digest; my stomach expressed the discomfort I didn’t express." - MERCÈ FALCO

Fearful, Tense

In this Enneatype, fear is an emotion that is not registered, it is bypassed, and thus becomes generalized bodily tension, absorbing the energy generated by fear. From childhood, by repressing the energy of anger, they become accustomed to tensing, contracting, and blocking muscle groups, tendons, and organs like the stomach, intestines, gallbladder, and kidneys... The tension and contractions end up becoming their defense system. They live in a contracted body, with repressed energy, not knowing what freedom of movement feels like.

Their body repressed all emotions that couldn’t be shown in the family environment; thus, emotions like fear and anger are not perceived. This is how tremors and muscle contractions become the way they feel them. These are people who exert great control over their body. Behind this bodily tension is the child’s fear of what’s coming, punishment, anger, indifference, if they don’t meet the high expectations of those around them.

Unlike the sexual subtype, which draws energy outward, the SP1 keeps this energy static, based on inhibition and blockage, feeling that it’s what ensures their survival. Although they demonstrate great psychic strength, linked to the childhood introject of "I can do anything," their physical health often represents the weak point of this character.

To come into contact with fear, support it, and accompany it involves becoming aware of the body and learning to relax the muscles. Releasing the stagnation of energy through movement and bodily expression. Nourishing the body with sensations of freedom.

-"With my body, it’s not that I’m demanding, it’s that I simply don’t look at it or consider it, it has to follow my rhythm, and I don’t notice it. I usually don’t pay attention. And, moreover, if it complains, I reprimand it. I tell it: 'Come on, now let’s stop with this nonsense!'" - BLANCA MARTINEZ

Physical Tension and Responsibility

The shoulders, often very tense, carry a great sense of responsibility. The neck is more tense in the cervical area, where emotions are controlled, and it is also accentuated by the pressure of the masseters due to bruxism, a typical behavior of this subtype, which is a clear example of the immense energy used to suppress anger. The most susceptible areas

to contraction include the shoulders, neck, and back. There is also a lack of flexibility, rigid bones with a tendency towards osteoporosis or stiffness in the joints.

-"In my case, I have bad joints. I've had two surgeries on my left knee, two on my back, and I'm waiting for surgery on my right knee... The sensation is a bit like a toy soldier, where if you bend its arm, it will break." - QUIQUE SEGUÍ -"I had to break a vertebra to understand, I was so used to pushing my body to the limit that I didn’t even notice. It gave me a hard time walking, and the next day I said: 'Ah, it hurts here, I don't understand, I didn’t do anything!' And my partner was laughing: 'Damn, with the beating you took yesterday! Don’t you remember?' I didn’t remember, I didn’t even notice, I didn’t understand the connection between what I did yesterday and what I was feeling today." - MERCÈ FALCO

Physical Effects of Anger

With the constant control and tension of anger, brain activity and the balance of the nervous and cardiovascular systems are also altered, with increased blood pressure, heart rate, and hormones like adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. In addition, there is an excess of bile secretion in the liver, which is expelled by the gallbladder, becoming resentful.

-"I physically realized how anger works. Before the surgery, my gallbladder was very swollen and sensitive. I could feel it, when I got angry, my gallbladder would hurt and feel warm, with an internal hum. Then I looked at my thoughts and I was fixated on something my son had done: 'Once again, it’s not right, there’s no way I can do these things...' As soon as I realized this and let go of the obsessive thought, the pain suddenly eased, and I understood how I hold onto anger in internal resentment, not letting it go, and it stays there, buzzing, spinning, hurting me physically while I harbor anger and resentment." - MERCÈ FALCO

Ordered, Obsessive

The obsession with maintaining order in things and the house reflects an intolerance to chaos, especially the internal chaos of emotions and instincts. "Disorder," which is inherent to life, is felt as a mistake, as if things are not working well. They believe that everything can be fine if it is in order, according to their logic. Even interpersonal problems can be solved if placed in order.

The obsessive behavior gives the security of having everything under control, thus avoiding a deeper connection with emotions, especially sadness or helplessness. This person is also obsessive about cleanliness, reflecting a desire for purity, an ideal of being a "sinless" person.

Severity

There is also a severity that, in some cases, reaches masochistic extremes, not only because pleasure is subordinated to duty, but also due to the heightened puritanism that opposes the free flow of instincts. The tendency to correct oneself and be severe with oneself and others makes this person serious and disciplined.