The Persona And The Shadow: For Those Who Are Destructive To Themselves And Others

The concept of the shadow includes the unconscious aspect of the personality, consisting of characteristics and attitudes that the conscious self does not recognize as its own. Claudio Naranjo talks about the shadow as the destructive and toxic part of the character, both for oneself and for others. It becomes clear, then, when we speak of the shadow, that we are confronted with the darkest part of the personality, the one that is hardest to see and recognize.

In the Self-Preservation 1, the shadow is entirely linked to their deep sense of imperfection, the feeling that they “should” be perfect, and the demand for perfection from themselves. Becoming fixated on the idea that one must be perfect at all times means self-improving in an endless spiral of neurotic demands. Perfection is an unattainable goal, one to which you will never have access, and in the pursuit of it, you harm yourself and others, alternating between self-control, self-demand, criticism, and chronic dissatisfaction derived from your actions or ways of doing things that you always deemed insufficient.

-I don’t accept myself, there’s a rage against myself that turns me into a hyper-demanding judge. The energy of anger, turned inward, is the judge I feel, who sometimes blocks me with its hypercritical violence; everything I do is wrong. — Merce Falcão -The projection and negative feedback that mirror me, and even the shame of others, are always related to what I reject in myself or to what I wish for myself. My shadow is accepting myself as I am. It is also mixed with anger, envy, or my judgment criteria about what they do or allow themselves to have, and what I don’t allow myself to have or do, and this is desirable. Control and rigidity. — Blanca Martinez

The darkest shadow of Self-Preservation is that they don’t accept themselves, continuously doubting themselves, questioning if they did well, blaming themselves for what they did, or censoring themselves for what they should have done, always reforming themselves,

because they don’t receive value for what they are. There is, deep down, a need for confirmation, with the illusion of compensating for a deep low self-esteem, masked by their image as a virtuous person and constant criticism of others. The deep need to be loved cannot arise in the relationship with others or with themselves, as it would be pain and a lack, and that would mean not being perfect, with the consequence of losing any chance of being loved. In this vicious circle, they are left “in the desert,” because any expression of warm and tender love is tied to not being worthy of value.

-In affective relationships, with this prohibition of tender love and asking for love for oneself, others often encounter a cold person, who, in order to be in the relationship, must continually be seen as "perfect and just," that is, a person who "doesn’t need." There is little space for the other to claim their need to “be useful,” or their need to suffer and express what they do not receive. My shadow is the fear of not doing well and accepting the rejection from the other, and it is linked to demand and perfection. — Blanca Martinez

An excessive demand shadow, coupled with fierce self-criticism that doesn’t tolerate the slightest mistake, leads to great internal torment, a hell that consumes much of your energy and leaves you stuck in a dead-end alley that only leads to obligation and the neurotic search for perfection.

-My perfectionism made me ineffective, as my projects were neither viable nor impactful on the world; my heavy demands and my disdain for pleasure, for what is light and beautiful, turned my life into a desert; my obsession and my judgments prevented me from understanding the laws of life; my aggressiveness, the closing of my heart, became the sword and armor faced by others; my justice without love and my resentment hurt the people I loved. My selfish ideals, impossible to achieve in my real circumstances, whispered to me that it was better to be dead. — Cristiano Moreno

Another Dark Aspect That's Difficult to Recognize Is the Desire to Command

This character always wants to be right and starts from the position of possessing the truth. Above all, when it comes to topics they dominate, they can become completely inflexible and impossible to convince. From an ethical standpoint, they believe they relate on equal terms but end up placing themselves above others. Deep down, there is a link in this character between love and power: a lack of trust that they can be loved unless they have a certain power over the other.

-Where I feel the shadow most in the relationship is with my son. That's where I get very annoying about how "I’m talking, what’s best for him, telling him what’s wrong... explaining to him," but I get really annoying, repetitive, with things like "it has to be done this way or that way," actually how I think it should be done, not how it’s actually good for him... — Merce Falcão

Another Major Shadow of This Character Is Self-Sufficiency

Being very determined and independent, accustomed to going solo. Self-confident, they believe they need no one and easily fall into arrogance and omnipotence. Behind this dysfunctional belief in "only power" hides a fear of facing impotence, a difficulty in being in relationships without having the role of an essential and effective person; a deep fear of rejection and of feeling useless.

They generally feel relaxed and comfortable in solitude because in human relationships, they feel very pressured by their self-demand and rigidity. In solitude, they can rest and be themselves. They’re used to being self-sufficient and feel good alone with their books, work, or multiple activities. This only increases their sense of loneliness because the trial distances them from people. Thus, they isolate themselves in their ivory tower.

In this way, they lose much of the richness of relational life. And in this solitude, they reinforce their self-image of being sufficient, from a narcissistic position that takes pleasure in needing nothing and no one. Deep down, there’s an unconscious devaluation of others.

-My shadow never asks for help, and behind it is perfection, demand, all of it. But I never ask for help, I do whatever it takes, the way is to leave what must be left behind to avoid asking for help. And when people ask for help, I distance myself from them, as if saying: "Well, pull yourself together, like everyone else." I almost never complain and can’t stand people who complain and cry. They seem to me to be letting me complain, it shows in my facial expression. At home, I never felt like anyone told me “don’t cry,” and I didn’t cry. — Blanca Martinez

A Significant Shadow Is the Accusation

This character, instead of giving me an opinion, an assertive expression, a “I don’t like this or I don’t agree with that,” tends to use an accusatory tone, ethical or moral. Meanwhile, in their head, a perfection simulator generates realities that don’t exist, and they deceive themselves by believing they will find in the world the ideal that their mind generates.

When observing reality, of course, they cannot resist comparing it with their ideal image, and they react with criticism and judgment.

The refusal to accept oneself as one is, or also the refusal to accept the other or life as it flows, distances others and places them in a state of permanent frustration, with a neurotic predisposition to row against the current.

-I was a pain in the ass. When I got to the company, I questioned everything, "And this, why is it done like this?" "This has been done this way for a long time." "No, no, that’s not an answer. Take a look and tell me how it can be improved because repeating this process four times seems outrageous. It’s not letting the other person alone until things are clear, it’s like an exercise in continuous efficiency. And this burns the other person." — Sérgio Isla

Anger Provides Neurotic Benefits

Anger gives a sense of power and positions you as the possessor of justice or truth. It can also be used as a form of protection, creating isolation, distance, and coldness with others. You may withhold anger to make the other person feel guilty and also to avoid feelings hidden behind the anger, like sadness, fear, or pain. Many use anger as a way of not taking responsibility for what happens in their lives, enabling them to blame others, the world, or even God for what they go through.

-Anger isolates me a lot from others; I stay in my world and say, "Bah! I don't want to know anything about you." — Blanca Martinez

The Self-Preservation 1 Seeks Power Through Secondary Strategies

They seek power through moralism and the hypocritical concealment of personal benefit, often expecting an investiture. On the other hand, although they want to be leaders without declaring it, they fear not meeting their expectations. Identified with the role of the "good child," they do not validate this personal search for power. Instead, they deceive themselves by claiming that power doesn’t interest them, while unconsciously using hidden maneuvers to achieve it. Their comfort zone is secondary power, not being the visible face. They don't feel comfortable being the front-runner but prefer to discreetly command. They enjoy being an advisor to those in power, taking an interest in influencing and becoming the true power behind the image of power. Internally, satisfaction lies in the "power" of being right, of "knowing what is right" and where to go.

-The strategy to enter power behind the scenes involves becoming a kind of model in a specific social group, whether family, friends, etc., and then taking that step. — Quique Segue

In the Self-Preservation subtype, the taste for dominance still exists, though camouflaged. Understanding the fixation leads us to question how you discern what you believe is “better” from what you believe is “worse.” For the sexual and social subtypes, the answer is less interesting, because if they come up with an idea, they’ll feel it’s innocent in itself. But for someone with a persecutory superego and self-accusation, whose sense of identity can be hurt by criticism, much more care must be taken when choosing what is perfect and what is not. Hence, their particular sense of ethics and justice emerges.

Once again, we find in this subtype a compensation for their childhood wound in the need for recognition, which they obtain through the results of their work, or by showing the group what they know, or by building a public image worthy of admiration. They’re not people who seek power at any cost; they need compensation, whether economic, recognition, or prestige.

-Power, without good economic compensation, doesn't interest me. Without days off, power really doesn't interest me. Power, without something that benefits me, doesn’t interest me. Power for the sake of power? No. But power, if it brings something that benefits me, then yes. There must be an exchange that interests me. — Lola Rebordo

Judgment is a Major Generator of Internal Anger That Traps You

The real difficulty lies in not seeing or respecting others with their priorities, peculiarities, or levels of involvement. When the objective of a task is prioritized, and the work itself is of high priority for an Self-Preservation 1, they don’t take their own needs into account, often working for hours on end without even noticing their physiological needs. This same internal demand is then transferred outward, towards others.

-When I work in a team, where tasks are distributed, I notice this. I’m observing how others are doing things. I judge how little responsibility, how little concern others have in doing things well. I demand this of myself, and at the same time, I find myself asking and demanding this from others. — Lola Rebordo

The Hypocrisy in the Character Structure of Self-Preservation 1

The hypocrisy that permeates the character structure of Self-Preservation 1 falsifies relationships with others, in which they aren't very interested, as they are detached from

the lived experience of contact. In reality, they hide an opposing anger and a desire to dominate through their feigned benevolent attitude. Benevolence is indeed useful for gaining admiration and respect, through which they are placed on a higher plane.

-"When I was a supervisor, I was blamed a lot: the attitude, the toughness, the demands... There’s a specific toughness, a very specific look that you don’t even realize." — Lola Rebordo

From everything that has been said above, it becomes evident that the virtue of a person with this character type is not a true virtue, but rather the result of obsessive compulsion and a struggle to do things better by manipulating anger. It is, therefore, a forced virtue, solidified through premature self-control and resistance to frustrations, with the renunciation of pleasure, established to prevent the emergence of a continually frustrated need for love.

According to the Enneagram, the passion of Anger is linked to the passion of Gluttony, representing an evolution regarding the frustration of needs for recognition or tender intimacy. The consequent repression of receptive oral needs marks the sacrifice of pleasure and the elimination of self-indulgence, which, on the other hand, in a greedy nature, represent very visible traits. In this sense, E1 is also defined as a "failed glutton." However, oral expectations are not abandoned but instead rationalized and transformed into legitimate demands in the name of moral justice. Thus, this strategy of seeking love fails from the outset, as the search turns into a quest for rights and respect.

Ultimately, the obsession with improving and being a virtuous person ends up worsening the quality of both their own life and the lives of others. The inner child remains completely trapped inside a perfectionistic ego-machine that feeds hyper-responsibility and worry.