The Characteristic Neurotic Need

This E2 subtype presents themselves as a charming child, offering unconditional love, without limits, with the intention of obtaining the acceptance and privileged position (the passion of this subtype) that they long for. Therefore, they don’t like to shine socially or show too much sexual allure, both of which pose a risk to their childlike façade.

Unlike other E2s, the Self-Preservation 2 subtype distrusts their abilities to perform admirable actions that would lead to acceptance and validation from those around them. The desire for prominence, typical of the proud, is therefore satisfied more in the realm of fantasy than in practical action. This type of E2 lives with an unattainable ideal of the self. This is why they constantly harbor the expectation that they will be discovered as a fraud, and a humiliating public exposure will be inevitable. Claudio Naranjo describes their egocentrism as a desire to be the center of attention without having to be important through qualifications or achievements. As a result, they find it difficult to feel gratified by a compliment: Even when they express a real virtue, a blind spot prevents them from discerning the value of a merit, as they don’t know whether they manipulated it or not.

Shame and Love

Any form of unrequited love generates shame. When parents distance themselves coldly or react with excessive anger over a minor issue, the child, confused, assumes there must be something wrong with them, even if they don’t know what it is. This bewilderment is a key ingredient in the process of shame. Societies oriented around shame teach that control is worthy of pride, while lack of self-control is a reason for shame. The message is that nothing is ever enough, and one is never adequate. Shame is induced by ignoring the child’s desires and ridiculing them in front of others. The punishment for shame is abandonment.

The polar opposite of shame is pride. Rationalization, anger, and arrogance are often used to avoid feeling shame. Shame is about withdrawing and hiding; pride is about expanding, being seen and heard. However, pride is not well-supported, as it doesn’t stem from a complete appreciation of who the person is. It doesn’t align with their real achievements

and weaknesses. In fact, pride often comes with a disdain for others and a defense of self-sufficiency.

The Symbiotic Relationships of the Self-Preservation 2

The Self-Preservation 2 tends to form symbiotic relationships once they feel they have found the ideal partner, but soon, the problem arises of not being able to set boundaries between themselves and the other.

The pride of E2 is how some people resolve the loss of their sense of existence and connection: by filling the void with a grand image of themselves. However, in this subtype, pride has deflated because shame appears, causing the Self-Preservation 2 to present themselves as someone tender and childlike, someone who wants to be loved regardless of sexual seduction or social relevance. Therefore, they seduce through delicacy and fragility.

The Childish Attachment and the Need for Comfort

Leaving childhood and adolescence behind has been a difficult task for them. They have been in love with their image of a pubescent child throughout their life—an image that has seduced them, enchanted them, and that they have allowed to direct their life.

Attachment to childhood is more than a preference; it’s a lifestyle where responsibilities never rested on them and their decisions, but rather on circumstances, others, or the randomness of life. It was easy for them to have everything forgiven because, with their childlike attitude, they could pass for innocent. This allowed them to receive pampering, privileges, and comforts.

Physically, they represent far fewer years than they actually have. Even now, at fifty, they manage to present themselves as childlike and endearing to others.

Origins and Family Messages

The Self-Preservation 2 perceived that they were loved more than anything for being pleasant, a smiling and joyful child; so, they learned to hide feelings of sadness and displeasure.

Their father would come home from work, and if he saw them with a sad face, he would say, "I have many problems at work, and I want my little honey drop when I come home." Their mother would tell them, "Save those tears for when I die."

They received an ambivalent message: to be the most important person in the family, the center of the parents' hearts, always available to protect and help them through life's challenges. But these parents set the condition that they not express any negative feelings, that they not present any problems that they couldn’t handle. Parents who were always ready to meet practical needs, provided they did not touch on anger, sadness, or any form of lack, and were to remain forever the most important people in their lives. The reward was a lack of order and clear rules, which translated into the false freedom of having no boundaries. The privilege a child might have turns into the obligation, in adolescence and adulthood, to stay in the role of the child who brings joy and creates no problems.

The Paradox of Privilege

The paradox of this privilege is being a child while also having the responsibility to care affectionately—and sometimes practically—for the parent. Growing up would awaken a deep sense of guilt for abandoning the parents and not being grateful for the privilege of being the protected child, which guaranteed survival. A very subtle humiliation is tied to the frustration of growing up, which relates to becoming an adult. This character lives with the impression that no one will love them if they express their sadness, anger, or any form of open displeasure. Therefore, joy and optimism become their ways of interacting, with the almost eternal smile as their greatest asset. They develop social skills like eye contact, a sincere smile, and physical closeness, but by not showing their sorrows or anger socially, they fail to develop their ability to set healthy boundaries.

The Role of Childishness in Their Relationships

The only way they can express their discomfort will be through whims, behind which they will hide their anger. This will feed into the privilege of claiming and occupying their place in the center of the world. They simulate an intimate closeness with others, making them feel special, as if only that person is treated in this way. Of course, they expect to receive the same treatment in return. In every relationship, they repeat the deception they learned: "I will always be with you, being the light and joy, and you will always return to me the place of being special, indispensable, and capable of anything."

The childlike posture that "allows them not to face the consequences of decisions" becomes so rigid that, to maintain the character, they must disempower themselves. This is evident, for example, in their difficulty in earning money or their indulgence in "childish" spending. Also, they tend to accept tasks without analyzing beforehand what they entail or their ability to perform them. It is common for them to have to learn on the go or abandon the tasks without daring to face them, feeling overwhelmed.

Creating the Center of Attention

The Self-Preservation 2 tries to occupy the center of attention, seemingly concerned with the needs of others, being the first to ask what they need. Their approach to life is like a game of magic and charm, rather than something more human, raw, and adult. Their action is governed by being needed by others, which generates a sense of debt around them.

As Dr. Claudio Naranjo, Antonio Santamaría, and I were having dinner, Claudio mentioned that he had something written that could be of interest to Antonio, and asked for his help. Before Antonio could respond, I immediately said, “If you want, send me the writing, and I’ll pass it on to him.” This is how I placed myself at the center of attention, becoming the orchestrator of the relationship. This same behavior makes it difficult for me to ask for help, because I would have to share the spotlight.

The Unquenchable Need for Approval

It’s like an endless barrel that never feels satisfied. This causes others to feel indebted, unable to satisfy the needy Self-Preservation 2. Psychodynamically, this promotes a lack of trust in the love of others, and to guarantee it, they create the need to be necessary.

As a child, they built bridges of love, harmony, and well-being with their parents, thus feeding the experience of occupying a privileged position. They provide bridges of help, seeking not to be forgotten, which is why it is so common for them to dedicate themselves to professions of help and service, where their "passion" is well received.