Childhood

The Sexual 9 is a child who tries not to cause trouble. They are obedient, curious, playful, open, and rarely get angry or complain. This child observes and evaluates the outside world very carefully. For example, they may watch their mother cook and learn to cook, or observe their father fixing a plug or car engine and learn to do the same. If they are an only child, they often use their imagination to entertain themselves, appearing silent and serene in the eyes of their parents.

Sexual 9s are lively children who enjoy active, skill-based games like hide-and-seek, tag, ball games, or inventing new stories to act out with friends. With a flexible and sharp mind, they tend to lead and organize new games, often taking the initiative. They have a love for nature, particularly animals, with whom they share an extraordinary connection.

At school, the Sexual 9 is diligent and disciplined but can be rebellious when facing injustices.

“My earliest memories begin in elementary school and involve protecting classmates who couldn’t defend themselves. I remember a boy tormenting a girl by taking her toys, pushing her, and threatening her if she told the teacher.

When I saw this girl isolated and not playing, I asked her why. When she explained, I felt enormous anger towards the boy. I told her not to worry anymore—I would defend her. The next time he approached her, ready to threaten her, I stepped in. Before he could act, I hit him so many times he didn’t dare to bother anyone again. I was punished for it, despite explaining my reasons.

This willingness to defend others, even at the expense of my own safety, has stayed with me. The driving force of the Sexual 9 might well be ‘my death, your life,’ without any sense of wrongdoing.” (Dania)

The Sexual 9 studies the minimum needed to pass but participates actively in class life. They seek autonomy as soon as possible, learning to dress, wash, cross streets, and navigate their neighborhood with prudence. They often feel grown-up, mimicking adult life in their behavior.

In general, the Sexual 9 does not have many memories of childhood. Instead, they experience a sense of emotional emptiness, remembering only moments of deep suffering, family struggles, or loneliness.

These children are often left to their own devices, forced to care for themselves due to absent or unrecognizing parents. They may endure family losses, separations, or challenging economic circumstances where sacrifice and self-reliance are necessities. In more affluent families, they may still experience deprivation of resources or attention.

From an early age, Sexual 9s learn to care for others, both to distract themselves from their own suffering and because family conditions demand it. They become “little adults,” taking on practical responsibilities like housework to ease the burden on their parents.

“When I was eleven, my mother started a business. I realized I could replace her in many tasks, despite my age. I believed my mother wouldn’t survive without my help, and if I didn’t step in, no one else would—despite having six older siblings.

I took over her responsibilities. When she was away due to travel or illness, I brought supplies to my brothers who depended on her. Over time, I earned my reward: my mother granted me a degree of freedom and recognition, saying things like, ‘My daughter is very good; she always helps me,’ or ‘She’s my right hand.’ I loved being seen as part of her.

However, this sacrifice came with consequences. I had little time to play or enjoy life like my siblings, and I began to resent them and my mother for placing so much responsibility on me.” (Lupita)

Those with this character trait learn to suppress themselves from birth. As newborns, they are often calm and undemanding, eating and sleeping without issue. As they grow, their natural instincts and liveliness are stifled. They discover that conforming to their parents’ expectations makes life easier, even if it means renouncing their own needs.

In adulthood, the symbiosis with a parental figure is replaced by a similar dynamic with their partner. This relationship reveals the most neurotic aspects of the Sexual 9. Their identification with their mother often manifests as maternal care or unconditional acceptance in romantic relationships.

The absence of a father figure in childhood leaves the Sexual 9 unable to fully develop their inner sense of masculinity, which relates to intentionality and decision-making. For men, this can lead to a lack of identification with their gender. Women tend to identify with the role of nurturing mothers, while men adopt the role of hardworking providers who struggle to acknowledge their own merit or authority.