Other Characteristic Traits and Psychodynamic Considerations

Very Patient

The Sexual 9 is very patient when it comes to tasks, things, or relationships that they believe in. Their patience may seem infinite to others, but to them, it is normal. With children and animals, their patience is extreme. This patience reflects the need to maintain energy homeostasis, both within themselves and with the environment, to avoid friction that could force them to confront needs or choices.

Without Nuance — Black or White

They believe that several "versions" of something cannot coexist. For example, in interpersonal relationships, it is difficult for them to understand that there are parts of a person they don't like or that they like less. Whether in relationships or in expressing their tastes, there is no middle ground—things are either black or white, all or nothing. Either they like everything, or they don't like anything.

"Since I was little, when I loved someone, I always found their physical beauty perfect. It’s not that their flaws seemed harmonious or funny, it’s that everything about them seemed perfect to me. It took me years to understand the imperfections in the people I loved, just as it took me a long time to understand that I deserved to be loved even though I wasn’t perfect."(Blanca)

This vision hides the defense mechanism of denying anything that could produce negative emotions and, above all, nourishes a false image of a world that is going perfectly, with nothing lacking.

Tolerant of Others, Severe with Themselves

With others, they tolerate everything and find a justification for any act or behavior. (Although, deep down, they may have already judged the behavior, they "magnanimously" understand and forgive it.) However, with themselves, they are severe, critical, and never let anything slip. Whether in their private life or at work, they cannot forgive themselves for any mistakes. The annihilation experienced in childhood and the devaluation received in primary relationships are completely introjected.

Chameleonic

Like a chameleon, they can fit into any environment or context without standing out. They can carry on any conversation by carefully following the other person’s train of thought. From early childhood, they developed the ability to enter and exit situations without being noticed. The imperative is to be present without disturbing. "I developed this ability to the maximum in the exercise of my profession, translation, where it led me to excellence. The best translator is the one who is invisible, the one who only reflects, trying not to contribute anything of their own but rather what another says or writes. In this exercise, I became unbeatable. Beyond the knowledge of languages, I had a strong internal need to deploy all my resources to get inside the other."(Blanca)

Above Authority

They either consider authority worthy of respect or they do not recognize it. This aspect has been evident since childhood. When faced with a teacher or a parent who has not earned their respect, they do what they consider most just: they ignore authority and act according to their own principles. They evaluate others based on absolutely personal criteria of merit and ability to play a given role and act accordingly.

"Despite my aversion to conflict, on several occasions, I stood up to the top leaders of my organization when I felt they were doing wrong. Without the slightest fear, from person to person. And almost always, I managed to make them correct the course, thanks to the

serenity with which I expressed my reasons. I was not attacking my superior; I was simply exposing a just cause."(Blanca)

This force to go against authority does not stem from a feeling of entitlement. Rather, it is driven by the desire to defend someone else or for their own survival—a kind of action that allows them to bypass the experience of low self-esteem.

Blind Faith

It is difficult for the Sexual 9 to believe in someone because they do not believe in themselves. However, when they find someone to believe in, they do so blindly and rarely question it. Rather than faith, it is better to say that they converge with the other person.

Mediator and Peacemaker

Not only do they dislike being involved in arguments and conflicts, but they also cannot tolerate witnessing them. When there is an argument, they compulsively feel the need to placate and fix the situation. They interfere even without assessing whether they are in a position to mediate. The imperative is to "quickly restore calm and peace." They do not take anyone’s side but manage to assert everyone's reasons, often without even knowing how they do it, always achieving their goal.

The Sexual 9 empathically and exaggeratedly feels the pain of conflict. The suffering is unbearable for them, and they feel the unresolved internal conflicts resonate. To prevent these from taking priority (as the resolution of their internal conflict), they immediately act in the external world. This terror of conflict often has autobiographical roots, and they will go to great lengths to avoid it, as conflicts in their childhood had devastating consequences for them.

"After my mother's serious illness, I also learned to be a great mediator, basically for two reasons. First, when my mother would lock herself in her room in the dark for days, without eating and not wanting to see anyone, my father would tell me: ‘Go to your mother, try talking to her, you'll see that she listens to you.’ So, to avoid disappointing my father's expectations and to bring some peace to the family, I started developing strategies. In a short time, I developed an almost infallible ability to mediate, to get my mother out of bed, and our family life returned to normal until the next crisis.

The second reason: when my mother got angry, it was essential to mediate before it was too late, or the situation would escalate into violence."(Dania)

"One year, when I was president of my community, we had to change doormen. The old one took his vacation in September to avoid leaving the house without coverage, but the new doorman needed to take his vacation in August to enjoy it with his wife and daughter. The rest of the neighbors were unyielding on this point. I spent several days in anguish until I found a solution that reconciled everyone's interests: the substitute would be the former doorman."(Blanca)

Aversion to Change

If there is one thing that triggers a crisis in the Sexual 9, it is change. They don’t understand why there is a need to change when things are going so well. A fierce defender of the saying "the best is the enemy of the good," they apply it as much as possible. They need familiar customs, familiar people, and familiar places. In short, they don’t want anyone disturbing their peaceful, stable world, for which they have worked so hard.

"I can't stand changes of plans, not even for the most justified reasons. A very close relative passed away on the eve of an important workshop for me, and it took me many hours to decide not to go to the workshop, until the next day when I realized I was too affected and simply couldn't."(Blanca)

Precise in the Development of Tasks

The word "precise" may fall short; their approach is almost manic, especially at work. Whether they perform tasks at the bottom or the top of the organizational pyramid, the Sexual 9 is extremely reliable due to their need to have everything in its place. If a work program is prepared, it must be followed, and any changes lead to a crisis, leaving them disinterested. They cannot stand delays from others because those are an "unexpected variable" in the program.

Lover of Good Food as a Shared Pleasure

The Sexual 9 loves good food and wine, but only if they can share it with someone they love or their closest friends. They don't usually care much about what they eat and don’t enjoy cooking for themselves. Food and drink are a pleasure only when shared or prepared for someone. When alone, however, food can become a way to fill the void caused by loneliness or the discomfort of doing things for themselves.

Dormouse

They have very deep sleep because they use it as a defense to avoid feeling.

"One summer when I was a teenager, we were in the country, and a terrible storm blew up during the night. The rain was so strong that the ground floor of the house, where I slept, was flooded. The whole family was bailing out water, but I didn’t find out about it until the next day."(Blanca)

Difficulty with Physical Contact

The Sexual 9 does not like physical contact; they do not like to be touched. They feel that everyone should respect their personal space. In reality, they did not experience safe, respectful skin contact with their mother, who was often invasive and disregarded their personal boundaries. They never learned to measure personal space.

Ashamed of Communicating Feelings

They are ashamed to express their affection because they were not taught to do so. The few times they have attempted to be overtly emotional, they have been deeply hurt or met with humiliating indifference. It is a risk they would rather not take again.

Incapable of Making Decisions

The Sexual 9 cannot make decisions for themselves because they don’t know what they like, making it impossible to know what is best. They let others make decisions, even for important matters. Although they may feel angry if the decision seems unfair, they will comply without raising any objections.

"When I was about to finish high school, I was excited about the idea of studying medicine, a field for which I also had good skills. I told my father, but he said that the body was not the important part of people. So I asked about psychology, but that wasn't important either.

‘What's important?’ I asked. ‘Philosophy,’ he answered. And I simply abandoned what excited me to study Philosophy, which I did without any passion. For many years, I thought

my father had ‘forced’ me to study Philosophy, and it wasn't until very recently that I realized he had just given me his opinion; I gave weight to his desire to please him."(Blanca)

"At the end of high school, when I had to decide which school to continue at, everything I liked was considered inadequate by my parents, who didn’t think I was smart or consistent enough to finish my studies. So, I opted for a career school that paid me on the job, and within a year, I started working full-time."(Dania)

Bad Relationship with the Body and Sexuality

He has a terrible relationship with his body, rejecting its form and aesthetics. He feels awkward and ugly, believing that no one will ever be attracted to him. As a result, he forgets that he even has a body. This disconnection from desire leads to a complete focus on the pleasure and sexuality of others.

Hyperadaptive

No matter what happens or what others choose, he always finds the positive side and adjusts his needs accordingly. The Sexual 9 has learned to adapt to circumstances out of fear of being abandoned, excluded, rejected, or ignored. This ability becomes a way to gain love. However, this adaptation is false, generating quiet rage that accumulates over time. Unaware of this anger, it manifests as stubborn opposition to others' proposals, often through practical impediments—a kind of displaced revenge.

"Indispensable" and Docile

The Sexual 9 works tirelessly to make himself indispensable to the people around him—family, friends, acquaintances. Compulsively, he immediately answers "yes" to any request, even if it has just been mentioned, without considering his capacity, psychological or physical availability, the effort involved, or his own needs. This is the price he believes he must pay to avoid abandonment.

Empathic

He believes he always knows, with absolute certainty, what others need (yet he doesn't know what he needs). He is amazed that others do not share this same level of

understanding. When someone fails to comprehend him, he immediately blames himself, feeling that the inability is his fault, even though it isn’t. He doesn't feel loved in these moments, and this causes him suffering and fills him with rage. It never occurs to him that others may not possess the same empathetic capacity that he believes is universal.

Cozy

Creating a comfortable environment, being open and welcoming, hospitable, and friendly—all these traits make the Sexual 9 well-liked in their surroundings. He acts this way because he feels a need to be accepted by others, and above all, because he believes that without such actions, no one would love him. In his mind, he is not worthy of love for who he is, but rather for the attention and warmth he provides to others.

Sense of Duty

The Sexual 9 has such a strong sense of responsibility that he often takes on obligations that don’t belong to him. His motivation is twofold: on one hand, he feels as if the weight of the world’s responsibilities falls on his shoulders, believing it’s his duty to ensure everyone fulfills their own. On the other hand, this sense of duty prevents him from experiencing pleasure in situations where he could otherwise indulge in it.

Susceptible to Criticism

He constantly expects praise and recognition for his efforts. If he is criticized for something he has done, he is deeply shocked and suffers greatly. The work he does with dedication and commitment has value because it allows him to be recognized by the external world. His work serves a dual function: both as a form of self-expression and as a way to gain validation. The Sexual 9 believes that his existence is defined not by who he is, but by what he does.

Disorderly or Extremely Orderly

He lives in internal chaos (tidying up would mean confronting and suffering from what he sees), which is why his living space tends to be disorganized as well. Paradoxically, he also dreams of being highly organized. He knows the chaos within him and would never want to

confront it, but he fantasizes that, with a wave of the hand, everything will magically fall into place and become perfectly ordered.

Talkative or Mute

In social environments with many people (parties, groups, conferences, meetings), the Sexual 9 can be extremely talkative, unable to bear the discomfort of silence. He feels an obligation to relieve others of what he perceives as emotional density by "breaking the ice" as soon as possible. He does this by approaching someone and starting a conversation. Although he feels that he’s saying irrelevant, uninteresting things and being overly verbose, he can’t stop. In fact, if there is a lot of noise, he may become quite quiet and even refrain from responding when addressed.

Breaking the Silence

Breaking the silence serves a secondary motivation. When the Sexual 9 starts talking, it allows him to stop feeling like an outsider—thus avoiding being the center of attention—and enables him to blend into the group. He struggles to truly feel part of any group. He often believes he is not up to par, that his characteristics won’t be valued, or that subgroups already exist in which he won’t fit in. He feels certain that, in any case, he won’t be accepted.

Inconstant

The Sexual 9 makes precise plans and commitments that he later postpones and sometimes forgets. Projects that once seemed to be a top priority suddenly lose their appeal for no apparent reason, replaced by new urgencies. This happens because he indefinitely postpones the satisfaction of his own pleasure. Although he may initially feel motivated and believe his desires are genuine, the inner voice that tells him not to indulge in pleasure soon arises. He believes there is no room for pleasure in his life, and that only duty truly matters.

Pedantic

The Sexual 9 holds strong opinions, often expressing them with determination—even when no one has asked for his input. He is so convinced that he has carefully and correctly analyzed the issue at hand that he speaks with absolute certainty, even if he is clearly wrong. His desire to assert himself is not linked to a well-formed opinion but to the need to feel heard and validated.

Unkempt

The Sexual 9 takes little care in his external appearance. He dresses without paying much attention to how his clothes match, and if he’s a woman, she rarely wears makeup or goes to the hairdresser. He does not concern himself with his aesthetics. This neglect also extends to his health, as he delays check-ups, ignores symptoms, or forgets signs that could indicate a potential health issue. In essence, he forgets himself to the point of not taking proper care of his well-being.

Autonomous

Independence is an absolute need for the Sexual 9, yet this is in conflict with his desire for symbiotic bonds. As a child, he could not trust the adults around him and learned early on to fend for himself. He reduced his demands and began to present himself as serene, peaceful, and unassuming. This need for autonomy, once again, is driven by the desire to secure love. If he isn’t a burden to others, he believes he will not risk rejection. The cost of this is not realizing the deep emotional dependence he has, which affects his feelings and motivations.

"In adolescence, I developed the falsely generous ideal (actually distrustful) that what came from others should come 'for a tip,' without expecting anything in return. It seemed to me that expecting something from another person would be terribly self-interested, turning the relationship into a mere transaction." (Blanca)

Hyperactive or Distracted

As mentioned earlier, the Sexual 9 operates on an "all or nothing" mechanism. He oscillates between periods (lasting weeks or hours) of intense industriousness and periods where he

becomes distracted by a variety of hobbies (TV, card games, music, books). In both states, he remains superficial, avoiding contact with his inner world, which he knows would be too painful and dangerous to confront.